-Caveat Lector- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- Toilet Etiquette of the Gods by Gipson Arnold Since religion intrudes into so many aspects of life, we should not be shocked when it seeks to guide us in the finer points of utilizing our own bodily functions. The keen interest shown, by gods of religion, in fecal and urinary matters is not openly advertized, but helps to illustrate the extent to which religion strives to infiltrate and control. My attention was drawn to this subject while reading Life on Man by Theodor Rosebury (1). He was writing mainly about fleas, mites, and microbes that live on, or in, the human body, but he also discussed various substances the body excretes. Much of his discussion centered around people's ideas about human waste, and religion's role in developing these ideas. In his chapter titled The Romans Had a God for It, he claims there were essentially "dung" gods, "piss" gods, and "fart" gods in numerous religions throughout history. He begins to cite examples from ancient religions of Central America. He quotes Spanish monks who refered to Ochpanistli as "the deity of filth and sin". Suchiquecal (the mother of the human race), and Tlazeoltecotl (the goddess of carnal love) were both said to be "eaters of feces or filth". Rosebury points to the Baalic gods of Canaan and Moab as examples of deities with similar habits. The scarcity of information about this subject stems in part from the prudery of Christian culture. Detailed accounts of ancient beliefs have been sanitized in order to prevent exposure to "offensive" beliefs and practices. It should be noted, however, that some writings we do have are Christian attempts to discredit pagan religions. Ironically though, certain passages in the Bible help to authenticate the scatalogical concerns of the Judeo-Christian god, and of pagan gods. The Bible says: "You shall have a place outside the camp and you shall go out to it; and you shall have a stick with your weapons; and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it, and turn your back and cover up your excrement." (Deut. 24,12). "Then he (God) said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith." (Eze. 4,15). "Therefore, behold, I (God) will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall . . . " (I Kings 14,10). "Behold, I (God) will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solumn feasts". (Mal. 2,3). When the Christian god threatens to spread the "dung of (their) solumn feasts" in the faces of his followers, it indicates how dung may have played a notable role in early Jewish rituals. The mention of "him that pisseth against the wall" may also refer to such rituals. We find earlier religious fascination with dung in the religions of Egypt. One belief held that the sky was a large meadow which was crawled over by a dung-beetle, or "scarab", which rolled the sun around, the way dung-beetles roll balls of dung. Egyptians thought young beetles were born directly out of the dung, and the scarab became a sky god and creator of life (2). The Mahabbharata, an epic poem of Hindu mythology, lets us see another godly fixation toward bodily functions: "The ear, the skin, the two eyes, the tongue, the nose, the two feet, the two hands, the speech, the genital organ, and the anus, these verily are the ten sacrificial priests. Sound, touch, color, taste, smell, words, actions, motion, and the discharge of seed, urine, and excretions are the ten oblations (sacrificies)." In India, according to some Hindu customs, devout followers have used the dung of sacred cows as part of religious observances. A drink, composed of five products from the cow (milk, butter, curd, urine, and dung), listed in various sources as "panchagavia" or "panch gavya", has been consumed as a form of pentitence for sins committed(3). Might men worship gods of flatelent gas? Lo, it has come to pass! The words "inspiration", "expire", and "spirit" all derive from words meaning breath or wind. When people die, they stop breathing, so breath is equated with the life force, and God is said to "breathe life" into Adam. Beleivers commonly attempted to preserve a person's essence or soul by capturing their last breath, regardless of which end might expel it. Foul emanations from one's lower recesses may be the original "inspiration" for the belief in possession by evil spirits. The Roman deity Crepitus, whose name means "crackling sound" or "flatulence", has been traced to an Egyptian goddess named Le Pet (fart). It is also interesting to note that the Roman god Ajax, who has been connected with agriculture and the fertilization of crops with manure, is now the namesake of a toilet bowl cleaner. Israelite and Moabite worshippers of Bel-Phegor were said to "present" their naked posteriors before the altar and relieve their entrails, making an offering to the idol of foul eminations (4). Another source gives us the poop on an ancient Polynesian religion, refering to their most holy practitioners as "Heavenly Filth-Flingers": "Warriors and nobles go upward, following the sun to heaven. But what a heaven it is! The souls of the blest can find no better way of occupying their time than to jeer and mock at the poor fellows who are trying to climb out of hell and - to drop down filth on them!" (5) Even Buddhism is not totally free of the fecal fetish. The dung and urine of the Tibetan Grand (or Dalai) Lama is believed to have magic and curative powers. Believers have carried it with them, worn it around their necks, and even mixed it with their food to prevent misfortune and disease. When the Dalai Lama won the Nobel Prize for peace, none of the news reports specified whether the dispensing of divine doodoo had figured heavily in his peace-seeking pursuits. It has, however, been reported that Lamas can produce only limited amounts of holy shit, and that artificial dung called "pedung pills", have been distributed instead (6). The most elaborate rules in regard to defecation, are no doubt those taught by the late Ayatollah Khomeini. His pronouncements "on the Manner of Urinating and Defecating" are very enlightening: "When defecating or urinating, one must squat in such a way as neither to face Mecca nor to turn one's back upon it." "It is not necessary to wipe one's anus with three stones or three pieces of fabric: a single stone or piece of fabric is enough. But if one wipes it with a bone, or any sacred object, such as, for example, a paper with the name of God on it, one may not say his prayers while in this state." "It is preferable, for urinating and defecating, to squat down in an isolated place; it is also preferable to go into this place with the left foot first, and come out of it with the right foot first; it is recommended that one keep his head covered while evacuating, and have the weight of his body carried by the left foot." (7) The most noticeable way in which defecating and urinating has been influenced by modern Christianity is in the form of taboos. The bodily functions may be considered obscene not only because they are natural and human, but because they have played such important roles in pagan religions. Natural excretions have been villified to the extent that it is considered impolite and sometimes illegal to use most of the words to describe them. Most modern dictionaries do not even contain the most popular words used in discussing our natural bodily functions. One has to wonder how atheists can hope for freedom when even the printing of so many harmless and useful words are prevented through the influence of traditional religious beliefs. DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! 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