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Title: apples are bigger than peas Joke of the day Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead. PICARD: On screen. [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.] PICARD: Data, what's wrong here? DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select a lower resolution? PICARD: Make it so. [The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.] PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans. DATA: Aye, sir. [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.] WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain! PICARD: Shields up! DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command. PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now.* DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command. LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data. [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.] DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any information sent by the Romulans. [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.] PICARD: Shields... [There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.] PICARD: Up, Data! DATA: Aye, sir. RIKER: All decks, damage report! WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be unconscious. [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.] DATA: Shields are now up, captain. PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead Romulan ship. WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.] PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action. DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console. PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one. DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril. PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants? RIKER: I left them with Geordi. LAFORGE: What!!? I thought you still had them! PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory? DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril. PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1. DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail? PICARD: Abort! DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail? PICARD: Well, fail, then! DATA: Current nose is no longer valid. [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.] LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing? PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data? RIKER: Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized in industrial control robots. [Suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the console, absolutely motionless.] PICARD: What's going on? LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core. PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them. [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.] FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?
[no subject]
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H! Soliciting For Business Venture and Partnership. Sorry for the inconveniences this letter may cause you, my name is Miss. Jennifer Noel, Chairlady contract award and monitoring committee of Ministry of Urban and rural development, my duty as empowered by the Ivory-cost Government is to provide the basic amenities, social recreational activities in urban and rural areas,This program includes assistance to deprived Local communities and to co-ordinate projects and development at the national level, Furthermore, from this projects we have been able to secure some reasonable amount of U.S.$17.5m (Seventeen Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S.Dollars Only) as commissions from various Contractors resulting from over invoicing, hence all the necessary approvals has been completed. These approved fund is now packaged and dispatched through a security company for onward delivery to its final destination. These fund are first deposited into a vault security before we arrange for its movement to Europe through diplomatic channel using decoy purporting that the fund belongs to an expatriate/company , as we are Government officials, we are not allowed to operate or own foreign bank account, Hence we need you to stand as the beneficiary and claim the fund on our behalf from the security house in europe. Presently I am now in Benin Republic to search for a reliable person / company of high integrity / dignity and one with conscience who will claim this fund on our behalf as the beneficiary, and we have agreed to give you 25% of the total sum as commission for your assistance / effort. And 5% will be used to settle every expenses incurred. We will use 70% to invest under your recommendations and guide and to go into Joint venture business with you. I would greatly appreciate your assistance .Also you can call me on my telephone number for more briefing + 229-440333 and for security reason sent your reply to my private e-mail address: ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) as I look forward to your response as soon as possible. Best regards, Miss. Jennifer Noel
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From: Mrs.Jennifer Obojo PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD. I am the above named person from Malaysia. I am married to Dr.Alan George Obojo who worked with Australia embassy in BRAZIL for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were muslims.Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$10 Million (TEN MIllion U.S. Dollars) in a Finance security company. Presently, this money is still with the Finance security company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would notlast for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to charitable organisation or better still a christian individual how can travel to collect the consignment from the security finance firm, and use this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want an organisation or individual that will use this to fund churches, orphanages and widows . The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health,and because of the presence of my husband s relatives around me always. I don t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance security company. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual forthis same purpose. Please assure me that you will actaccordingly as I stated herein.please be also inform that as soon as i send you the letter of empowerment you will get preper to meet with the security company. Hoping to hear from you. Remain blessed in the name of the Lord. Yours in Christ, Mrs Jennifer Obojo Charle con sus amigos online usando CHAT 123 http://www.123.com/sp/chat/section.php?id_section=329
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ETLK Possibly Undervalued?
Title: Copyright OTC/BB Symbol: ETLK Mrkt. Cap:$12 M Shares: Outstanding:34,400,000 Float (Est.):1,500,000 ETLK REPORTS 18% INCREASE IN REVENUE UNDERVALUED? CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE QUOTE | PRESS RELEASE | SEC FILINGS REVENUE Today reported an increase of 18.2% in revenue or $2,947,878, for the first quarter 2002, as compared to $2,493,188 Q1, 2001. The Per-share earnings for Q1 2002 remained inline with Q1 2001 at a loss of one cent per share. The market in China is the world's fastest growing telecommunication market. With an office in Cerritos, CA. and an affiliate in Boston, MA. ETLK is a leading telecommunications company with corporate owned international gateway digital switching facilities in China, Hong Kong, U.S., Taiwan and Singapore. These facilities have the capability of PRI, C7, SS7 and other signaling commonly used by major international carriers. This allows ETLK to operate international telecommunications services on both sides of the Pacific to over 220 foreign destinations. RECENT ACQUISITIONS GridTel.Net has points of presence (POPs) assets in Kathmandu, 2 sites in Bangladesh, Indonesia, Mongolia, Bangkok, Mumbai, Dehli, Manila, and Cambodia. The company has strong relationships with local ISPs and international carriers in the Indo-China and South Asia regions, and provides direct routes to Nepal, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Singapore, Cambodia, Laos, Pakistan and the Philippines. GridTel.Net records over 10 million calling minutes per month and is a holder of an External Telecommunications Services (ETS) license in Hong Kong. GridTel's projected annual revenues for 2002 are US$24 million, with approximate annual gross profit of US$1.44 million. TOTAL TELCOM PRESENCES They enable telecommunications carriers and other service providers the ability to offer long distance voice, data, fax, and VOIP services to their end-customers, through an advanced and scaleable network. ETLK has points of presence (POP) in locations where most major international carriers are located (New York City, Boston and Los Angeles ), which enables the Company to have easy access to its customers, as well as the most competitive international termination rates in the world. The Company's operations employ advanced systems including call collection and call data storage linking to a proprietary reporting system which permitting management to determine the profitability margins by destination country, by customer, as well as for overall daily operations. INVESTMENT HIGHLIGHTS The Gartner Group estimates the global telecommunications market is projected to reach approximately US$1.9 trillion by 2003. Globally, Voice over IP (VOIP) traffic was responsible for a record-setting 7.7 billion minutes in 2000, and the market is still in its early stages. It is expected to grow dramatically, to 500 billion minutes by 2005. ETLK also has expanding networks and agreements with ATT, MCI Worldcom Inc., Global Crossing, New World Telephone, Wharf New TT, Worldcom Asia Pacific, Great Wall Broadband. ETLK's 2002 revenue porjections is USD $20 million. ETLK has agreements with their major carriers and opening new routes, Indonesia, Vietnam and Cuba. This will add to their revenue with less cost. ETLKs market cap is currently less than their sales revenue. CONTACT YOUR BROKER NOW! ETLK has shown excellent business execution despite the tough economy and has maintained a significant cost advantage over the competition and been achieving its objectives in a consistent and superlative fashion resulting in more than an 18% growth in 1st quarter 2001. Call your Broker Now! Disclaimer Madison, Wall LaSalle (MWL) is an independent electronic publisher of information on selected public companies. In consideration of its electronic dissemination of the information contained in this notice. MWL has received A) 100,000 shares of ETLK common stock restricted, Rule 144, and B) Cash Payment of $20,000. MWL did not receive any other compensation, of any kind, for its services other than stated herein. MWL is not a registered
