http://msn.zdnet.com/zdfeeds/msncobrand/reviews/0,13828,2909517,00.html
Snide little comments in []'s are mine.
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Dear Hollywood: Keep your hands off my DVDs
By David Coursey, AnchorDesk
Wish you could watch major films at home without being offended by words
you wouldn't use in your own home, and worrying whether your children are
seeing things they shouldn't?
[Uh, no.]
Think you should have the right to view the movies you own (or rent)
the way you--and not the content's creators--wish?
[You mean like an historically accurate version of Schindler's List?]
IN EITHER CASE, you should know about a company that hopes to market a
special DVD player that will automatically skip over violent and sexually
explicit scenes and mute the bad language that is so prevalent in
Hollywood blockbusters.
[Those darn Mormons should really stay out of the Entertainment business,
except for the Osmond Family Christmas Special.]
Here's the problem: Hollywood is suing to keep this DVD player off the
market. The major studios and the Directors Guild of America are
essentially saying that, when you buy a DVD, you must watch it exactly the
way it was created--or not watch it at all.
[Hollywood makes edited versions of almost everything, for broadcast TV,
airline flights, Saudi Arabian social events, and many other venues. The
difference here is that such editing is done under contract with the
studios and with the permission of the content creators. What Hollywood
is suing over, is illegal editing and resale of their content. I'm sure
if the Fundies pay Hollywood enough, and sign a contract, they can edit
to their heart's content. Or maybe they could just rent the airline
version.]
The company that's created this DVD technology, ClearPlay, is one of a
dozen or so businesses that, in one way or another, offer cleaned-up
versions of PG- and R-rated movies. Others, such as CleanFlicks, rent and
sell DVDs and videotapes that have been physically edited to exclude
objectionable content.
According to CEO Bill Aho...
[ Cornohol : Cornhole :: Aho : ? ]
...(whom I interviewed yesterday on my radio show), ClearPlay uses special
software--already available for PC-based DVD players--to skip over
specific scenes and mute language while the disc is being played.
ClearPlay editors have viewed and created filters for more than 300 films,
from A.I. Artificial Intelligence to Zoolander. Aho admits that there are
some movies (such as Saving Private Ryan) that ClearPlay hasn't filtered
because doing so would ruin the film. The filters are specific enough that
even a gritty war drama like Blackhawk Down might lose just three or four
minutes of run time.
[The mind boggles at what the prudes wanted to cut out of A.I..]
The ClearPlay service is available right now (if you're willing to use
your PC as your DVD player) for $7.95 a month, or $79 a year. The custom
DVD player, expected to sell for less that $100, will come to market later
this year--unless it's blocked by the courts.
ClearPlay, CleanFlicks, and other similar companies are presently locked
in legal battles with the entertainment industry, which claims that
copyright owners alone have the right to make derivative works by
editing the originals. If anyone else creates derivative works, the
studios and their allies argue, that would violate the studio's trademark
rights to a motion picture.
[See me make a derivative work of this clown's article.]
I CAN OFFER only three words to Hollywood: Get over it. Or maybe: Turn it
around. If people find certain scenes in certain movies offensive, maybe
Hollywood shouldn't force its paying customers to watch those scenes.
[Bwahahahaha! Hollywood isn't forcing you to look at anything, you
cockered accumulation of bawdy squirrel guts.]
I understand that editing can sometimes change the meaning of a motion
picture--but so what? This is supposed to be entertainment, and people
shouldn't be forced to be offended when they want to be entertained.
[Great - then be entertained by Sandy Patty's Greatest Hits, instead of
Saving Private Ryan.]
Furthermore, if a company like ClearPlay has found a viable market in
letting consumers clean up movies on the fly, maybe Hollywood needs to
sell DVDs already edited to something closer to a G or PG rating.
[Hollywood can sell, or not sell, anything it wishes to. You cannot sell
a studio's content without their permission.]
Hollywood is no stranger to editing films to reduce violence or drop
offensive language. The TV networks have long required this (though less
and less as time goes by), and directors often reedit their films in order
to get a desired rating for showing in theaters.
From a legal standpoint, there is probably some difference between what
CleanFlicks does, which is actually editing the content, and ClearPlay's
approach, which leaves the content intact but automates the fast-forward
and mute features that individual users could invoke
