Package: kcollectd
Version: 0.9-2+b1
Back in 2011, Michael Prokop m...@debian.org wrote:
The package description says:
, [ % apt-cache show kcollectd ]
| Description: simple collectd graphing frontend for KDE
| Kcollectd is a graphical KDE-frontend to collectd that allows to view
| RRD files that have been created by collectd. It allows to easily
| navigate in the data with the mouse and can be used as a chart recorder.
`
I don't see how I can use kcollectd with rrd files that aren't the
ones created by collectd on the host where kcollectd is running. The
package description is misleading for me therefore (since RRD files
that have been created by collectd doesn't seem to be the whole truth).
I don't quite understand how you find that particular ambiguity in
this package description (it says nothing about data from remote
hosts), but it *is* badly in need of a rewrite. Here's my review and
suggested patch.
# Description: simple collectd graphing frontend for KDE
I only have one, distinctly nitpicky criticism for this synopsis:
frontend is developerese. I would suggest front-end (and even
that's a compromise: the dictionaries say it's front end).
# Kcollectd is a graphical KDE-frontend to collectd that allows to view
* The same nitpick again: s/frontend/front-end/.
* But using the word again is repetitive.
* And KDE-frontend isn't entitled to a hyphen.
* And if it's a KDE frontend for graphing things, that already makes
it fairly obvious that it's graphical.
* And if it's called kcollectd and (you go on to mention in the same
sentence) it's for viewing the output of collectd, it's fairly
obvious that collectd is what it's a front-end to.
* On the other hand, it would be useful to have some passing mention
of what collectd *is*.
* And to top it all off, it's that old classic, objectless allow.
http://www.xibalba.demon.co.uk/jbr/linux/esl.html#b1
(Oh, I now notice you've *also* had a bug report for this, but the
patch provided for #687354 is distinctly robotic-sounding English.)
# RRD files that have been created by collectd. It allows to easily
* Have been created is Deutschlish; you just need a plain passive
(in fact idiomatic native-speaker English would probably reduce the
relative clause to RRD files created by collectd).
* Allows to twice in the same package description! DISALLOWED!
# navigate in the data with the mouse and can be used as a chart recorder.
* In the data with the mouse is... awkward. It sounds as if
there's a mouse in the data.
* It can't be used as a chart recorder in the sense of recording
physical strip-charts; this claim probably needs to be reduced to
can be used as a virtual chart recorder. Unless of course it
means that it can output to a chart recorder? (Apparently not.)
Stealing a couple of words from the homepage and the manual, I would
suggest:
| Description: simple collectd graphing front-end for KDE
| This package provides a basic KDE application for viewing RRD files
| created by collectd, the system statistics storage daemon. It allows
| easy mouse-driven navigation through data collections and can be used
| as a virtual chart recorder.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
diff -ru kcollectd-0.9.pristine/debian/control kcollectd-0.9/debian/control
--- kcollectd-0.9.pristine/debian/control 2012-12-15 14:44:23.0 +
+++ kcollectd-0.9/debian/control 2012-12-15 15:41:59.563049107 +
@@ -10,7 +10,8 @@
Architecture: any
Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, collectd
Suggests: khelpcenter4
-Description: simple collectd graphing frontend for KDE
- Kcollectd is a graphical KDE-frontend to collectd that allows to view
- RRD files that have been created by collectd. It allows to easily
- navigate in the data with the mouse and can be used as a chart recorder.
+Description: simple collectd graphing front-end for KDE
+ This package provides a basic KDE application for viewing RRD files
+ created by collectd, the system statistics storage daemon. It allows
+ easy mouse-driven navigation through data collections and can be used
+ as a virtual chart recorder.
