The benefits and perils of bipartisanship are described in the story
of Lakshmi, the Hindu Goddess of good fortune.


Hindu theology is complicated, and has many different branches (and
even has atheistic forms).  One deity may have many manifestations
(for instance, Radha and Tulsi are both said to be aspects of
Lakshmi), but in most forms of Hinduism all deities are ultimately
part of a single divine force.  In the stories, however, they are
usually treated as separate entities.

Lakshmi is the bringer of all forms of good fortune:  health, wealth,
and love.  She's much beloved by my Hindu sister-in-law, which may
explain why there's a gorgeous Lakshmi statuette in her Jewish
mother's home.  (We are, to put it mildly, an ecumenical family.) 
Lakshmi is sometimes said to be fickle, as good fortune comes and goes
at odd times.

Lakshmi's story begins at a time when the lesser divinities (devas),
led by Indra , were faring poorly in their ongoing conflicts with the
demons.  (Yes, in this post-partisan era, it's bad manners for me to
cast the Republicans as demons – but if the shoe fits the cloven hoof,
may as well wear it.*)  In desperate need of help, the devas spent
many days in prayer to Vishnu , the Preserver.

Vishnu appeared in a radiant blue light.  He told them that they could
have the greatest gift of all:  the Elixir of Immortality.  But they
would have to get it by churning the entire Ocean of Milk (the Milky
Way).  To accomplish this, they would have to call a truce with the
demons and work together.  And that was the easy part.

When Indra explained the plan to the demons, their first response was,
"Are you f'ing kidding me?"  But Indra pointed out that there was
something in it for them.  Both sides wanted the elixir, and neither
side could accomplish it alone.  So, the rivals struck a bipartisan
compromise.

First, they cut off the top of Mount Meru, the pillar of the universe,
to use as a stick to churn the ocean.  Vishnu took the form of a giant
turtle and then swam underneath to keep it from sinking.

No rope in the universe was strong enough for this task.  So Vishnu
sent for Vasuki, the king of the serpents.  The great snake coiled his
body around the mountain.  The devas held onto his head, the demons
held his tail, and they took turns pulling the mountain back and forth.  

[Illustration, if you're having trouble picturing this:  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kurma_Avatar_of_Vishnu._ca_1870.jpg ]

And the Ocean of Milk began to churn.  

Soon a great silvery orb arose from the ocean, bathing them all in its
soft light.  It glided up into the sky, and became the moon.  They all
stared in wonder at the shiny object.  But it was not the Elixir of
Immortality, so they set back to work.

Over the hours and days that followed, fourteen treasures were churned
forth from the Ocean of Milk, including Surabhi (the sacred cow),
Kalpavriksha (the wish-granting tree), Kaustubha (the word's most
precious jewel), and Varuni, the Goddess of alcohol (which,
surprisingly, is not the Elixir of Immortality).

Finally the great serpent could take no more.  He had been pushed,
pulled, turned and squeezed for days.  He opened his mouth and vomited
his poison into the sea.  Vasuki's poison was so toxic that it could
end all life in the universe.

The devas and demons cried out to the only on who could save them: 
Shiva , the Destroyer.  Shiva came from heaven, bent down and drank
all the venom.  The poison was so strong that Shiva's neck turned
blue.  But the universe was saved.

The devas and demons were exhausted.  They had been churning the ocean
for days, and still did not have the elixir.  And now they were
afraid:  what if they brought forth more poison?

Vishnu urged them to continue.  This was the greatest task they had
ever undertaken; it wasn't supposed to be easy.  The goal was worth
it.  And so, slowly at first, they once again began to pull the
mountain back and forth.

After hours of their labor, a Goddess emerged from the sea of milk,
enthroned on a giant red lotus.  She was incomparably beautiful,
dressed in red silk and dazzling jewels.  Her body glowed with a
golden radiance.  Her dark eyes shone with joy and compassion.  Two of
her four hands made gestures of blessing and protection.  A third
scattered gold coins to the crowd.  In her fourth hand, she held a
vial with the Elixir of Immortality.

Vishnu changed from his turtle guise back into his godly form.  The
Goddess's eyes met his, and they knew they were two halves of the same
whole.

Indra and the devas bowed with reverence.  "Welcome, Lakshmi, Goddess
of good fortune."

The demons snatched the vial away, and took off running.

"Quickly," Lakshmi said to Vishnu, "distract them with a shiny object."

Vishnu went one better.  He disguised himself as Mohini, the divine
enchantress, and appeared in front of the demons.  Naturally, the
demons were already fighting over who got the first drops of the
heavenly elixir.  But they stopped when they saw "Mohini," a most
voluptuous and graceful woman, wearing sparkling jewelry and very
little else.  The demons stood with their tongues hanging out. **

"Hello," s/he said to them.  "Would you like me to dance for you?"

"Mohini" began to dance, and the demons watched with undisguised
ecstasy.  Finally, one of the demons remembered the elixir, and spoke.
 "Beautiful lady, would you settle an argument for us?  I am sure
everyone here will accept your judgment."

"Of course.  Whatever pleases you."

"Who should be first to drink from the Elixir of Immortality?"

"What elixir?"

The vial was gone.  Lakshmi had slipped in and stolen it back while
the demons were watching "Mohini."  And now s/he also disappeared.

By the time the demons returned, Lakshmi had given the vial to the
devas, and every last drop of the elixir was gone.  Realizing they'd
been had, the demons attacked – which is a bad idea when your opponent
is now immortal.

And that, in a lotus leaf, is bipartisanship.

It's tough being the good guys.  We know how it's supposed to work: 
we pull our end, they pull their end, and together we can create
things that benefit us all.  Instead we wind up getting backstabbed,
over and over, by people who have no interest in bipartisanship when
they think they have the upper hand.  It gets wearing, having to be
the bigger person all the time.

At the same time, we don't want to turn into what the Republicans
became when they imagined they had a permanent majority.   Just
opposing anything they do for the sake of party hostility isn't going
to impress the Goddess of Fortune (or the voters).  Or as  John Cole
put it:

    The majority of the Republicans can be counted on to act in bad
faith, so bipartisanship should not be giving them symbolic nods just
to get their votes. Bipartisanship should be including their good
ideas when they have them.

    Trust me. That will be so rare, it will be obvious when they have
a good idea. It will look as out of place as a whale in a salad bowl.

Or a Goddess on a giant lotus rising out of a sea being churned with a
snake and a mountaintop.  Hey, it could happen.

- written by Tara the Antisocial Social Worker's diary

*I'm pretty sure Hindu demons don't actually have cloven hoofs.

** Had these been actual Republicans, Vishnu would probably have
remained in male form and hinted that there was an airport restroom
nearby.







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