Let's look at an example of Barry's fiction-writing
where I'm concerned, the edits he made to the
Characterstics of Co-Dependency list he lifted from
Wikipedia (which Wikipedia took from Co-Dependents
Anonymous).
Only a couple of the items actually apply to me in
any case, but what's really interesting is the items
he *left out* (in one case he even left out part of
an item). They're in red below. It's obvious *why*
he left them out--most of them flatly contradict his
whole thesis. Not even Barry would be foolish enough
to try to persuade readers they described moi.
He didn't really do that good a job of editing the
list, though--he left in several that are starkly
WTF? such as the single Low Self-Esteem item he
did leave in; and under Compliance, I put aside my
own interests and hobbies in order to do what others
want.
I've also indicated which of the items *do* apply to me.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
mailto:FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com , TurquoiseB no_re...@...
wrote:
snip wholly fictional analysis
CHARACTERISTICS OF CO-DEPENDENCY
Denial Patterns:
* I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
* I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
* I perceive myself as completely unselfish and
dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
* I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings
and behavior over my own.
LEFT OUT:
* I have difficulty making decisions.
* I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never good enough.
* I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
* I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
* I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Compliance Patterns:
* I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and
feel the same. [The first part applies to me; the
second depends entirely on what the feeling is.]
* I value others' opinions and feelings more than
my own and am afraid to express DIFFERING OPINIONS
[LEFT OUT!] and feelings of my own.
* I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order
to do what others want.
LEFT OUT:
* I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others'
anger.
* I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
* I accept sex when I want love.
Control Patterns:
* I believe most other people are incapable of taking
care of themselves.
* I attempt to convince others of what they should
think and how they truly feel. [Yes to the first
part, but of course we all do that, including Barry. No
to the second part, although I may intuit what one person
is feeling and try to convince others of what that person
is feeling.]
* I become resentful when others will not let me help
them.
* I freely offer others advice and directions without
being asked. [This is the *sole item* in the entire
list that applies to me without qualification.]
* I have to be needed in order to have a relationship
with others.
LEFT OUT:
* I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
* I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
Isn't that amazing?
snip more fictional analysis
it is my considered opinion that the *only* thing that
can help her overcome her Borderline Personality Dis-
order is the thing she fears the most -- being ignored.
Anyway, after this disastrous attempt to foist a
personality disorder on me, Barry goes back to his
perennial plea that everyone ignore me (something
he's pathetically incapable of doing himself).
It's the closest he can come to demanding censorship.
Note that I have *never* suggested that anyone should
ignore Barry. You have to be genuinely afraid of what
a person has to say to want to censor them.
snip
And if you think I'm wrong in this armchair psychoanalysis
of her and her behavior, just sit back and watch how she
reacts to it.
Barry Wright, as usual, Master of Inadvertent Irony.
(Sorry, do.rk, you gave it the old college try,
but you didn't come close to seizing the title.)
