g_b Re: Courtroom Bloopers
-- I went to Amazon.com to try and locate this amazingly funny book, but the closest title I came across was Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Momements in Courtroom History, by Charles M. Sevilla. Is this the book from which these outrageous exerpts were taken? I'd love to get it and send it to my best friend who's a lawyer, but I want to make sure this is the right book. Sincerely, Chops - In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "Aditya Bondyopadhyay" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now > published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while > these exchanges were actually taking place. > > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? > WITNESS: No, I just lie there. > > ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? > WITNESS: July 18th. > ATTORNEY: What year? > WITNESS: Every year. > > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > WITNESS: I forget. > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you > forgot? > > ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? > WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. > ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? > WITNESS: Forty-five years. > > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that > morning? > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? > WITNESS: My name is Susan. > > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? > > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? > WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. > > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? > WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? > > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? > WITNESS: Uh > > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: How many were boys? > WITNESS: None. > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? > > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? > WITNESS: By death. > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? > > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? > > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition > notice which I sent to your attorney? > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead > people? > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. > > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go > to? > WITNESS: Oral. > > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an > autopsy on him! > > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? > WITNESS: Huh? > > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a > pulse? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you > began the autopsy? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and > practicing law. >
g_b Wonderful Info. of the Day
Wonderful Info. of the DayEarth travels through space at about 67,000 miles per hour. - Be a PS3 game guru. Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
g_b Please reply if you are the person i met yesterday
Hi all, I just met some one very hadsome in train who got down at mahim station with me yesterday night at 8.35 PM while coming from dadar in andheri train.That time i didnt had any guts to ask him his name or number. But i regret it now as i cant stop thinking about him since the moment i met him. If you are out their please reply to my mail as i'ld love to have friendship with you. please, please, please, please, please, please, please relpy to this... Awaiting for you - Don't pick lemons. See all the new 2007 cars at Yahoo! Autos.
g_b goodlkg B'BAY guy searchin4 the special 1 !
Here is my profile >> u can see my pics on www.gaydar.co.uk/soul4love1 I am 29 goodlooking from bombay ,5.7ht ,smart , affectionate ,kind ,caring , non-effeminate , a die hard romantic n equally passionate n adventurous in bed ;-)but NOT into casual sex or 1night stands. I have a good sense of humour n can make u smile !! I am looking 4 a guy with an attractive personality ,who is lovable, caring ,non effeminate , honest n who is open 2 the idea of a potential Relationship ofcourse after friendship n mutual clicking If our friendship develops into a relationship , i can assure u sincere love n affection , understanding , support in all ur ups & downs , n above all loyaltyya n i m pretty confident of myself n my abilities ! [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: g_b very very very urgent
totally impressed with ur solution :-) walnut <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: My beloved Sanjay...first of all..plz.understand that u r not alone...and u r not going to commit suicide for such a small reason...u have full rights to live a happy life without any fear...and u can live a happy and peaceful life...once again..trust me! Take this silly thing as a challangeI know its scary..but when u get their call or when u meet them face to face next time...just gather courage...and confidence and tell them that IF THEY BLACKMAIL YOU AND IF THEY TRY TO SPOIL UR LIFE...THEN U WILL DO THE SAME THING TO THEMTELL THEM THAT...U HAVE FIGURED OUT WHERE THEY WORK AND WHERE THEY STAY..AND ITS VERY EASY TO TRACE THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS, WIVES AND KIDS...AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT HIS KAALI KARTUTE THEN SAY THAT...BEFORE ANY MISHAP HAPPENS TO YOUR LIFE...U WILL FIGHT BACK AND CAUSE SEVERE DAMAGE TO THEIR FAMILY AS WELL AS PROFESSIONAL LIFE BY INFORMING THEIR FAMILY MEMBERSALL THIS YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM WHEN THEY CALL YOU NEXT TIME...AND U JUST DONT HAVE TO SAY IT TO THEM...U HAVE TO USE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE WHILE SAYING SO...JUST LIKE PEOPLE FROM ZHOPADPATTI USE...AND SCREAM AT THEM SAYING THAT U R OPEN FOR ANY CHALLANGE Dude same thing happened with me in the area where I lived...I was damned scared...and u know what...I came across that bastard just when I was coming out of my bank and withdrawing cash...I met him...had sex with him in one of the flats where I lived...and he came to know about my whereabouts...and that was my weakest point he could figure outthen one day he tried to chess me untill I reached near my building and threatened me that he would walk in directly to my house and inform my parents..and if I didnt want that to happen then I should pay him...10,000 bucksI screamed loudely at him on the main road when he was trying to threaten meI said AA BHOSADIKE.CHAL DONO MILKE PEHLE POLICE STATION JATE HAI...FEER TERE GHAR JATE HAI...AUR FEER MERE GHAR JATE HAI''' I said...'AB DEKH MAI KAISE TERI GAND MARTA HU and believe me...I never saw that bastard again in my areahe just vanishedwhen he realized that his family and professional life may get ruined too... Dude these people are very very weak mentallyand u need to atleast show that you are ROCK HARD STRONGand then they will pee in their pants... Dont worry...keep in mind that u have to scream loudely and create scene at a public place!..Only then such people come back to their senses...and worst come worst...just try to follow them and see where they live...and then u know what to do nextFULL RAADA Luv Walnut - Don't pick lemons. See all the new 2007 cars at Yahoo! Autos. - Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Yahoo! Travel to find your fit.
g_b The GayBombay Party on Saturday 10 March 2007 at Velocity!
The GayBombay Party on Saturday 10 March 2007 at Velocity! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Time: 9 pm - 1 am. Cover Charge: Rs 400 before and Rs 450 after 10 pm. Venue: VELOCITY; Bluemoon Ent. Pvt. Ltd.; Film Center, 2nd Floor; Tardeo; Mumbai 400034. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Other than the main dance floor which will play a mix of Bollywood and English music there will also be a separate lounge, with its own DJ, which will play only English music! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Please note that you have to be above the age of 21 to attend GayBombay parties. Please carry proof of age with you: a driving license, college identity card, etc. YOU WILL NOT BE ADMITTED IF YOU ARE BELOW THE AGE OF 21! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Directions: Velocity is located between Crossroads and Tardeo AC Market. The closest train station is Bombay Central. If you're driving from the Mahalakshmi Temple or Peddar Road area make a right turn at the Haji Ali signal. If you're driving from the suburban, Worli or Mahalakshmi Station area make a left turn at the Haji Ali signal. Drive straight and past the Heera Panna shopping centre on your right; Velocity is just after Crossroads/McDonalds on the same side of the street. If you're driving from the Bombay Central station, Ganga/Jamuna or Sardar Pao Bhaji area Velocity is on your left after Tardeo AC Market. Valet parking is available at the venue. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* The Cover Charge includes: Inhouse DJ and a dance floor; 4 small drinks with mixers, or 2 beer pints, or 4 soft drinks/mineral water; and snacks like wafers and peanuts. Extra drinks can be purchased at Rs 100 for 1 small drink with mixer, or one small beer pint, or one mocktail, or one juice, or one Bacardi Breezer. Rs 50 will get you either an aerated water or mineral water. Dinner will not be served. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* - Some don'ts: ` GB, as a support group, has created this comfort/safe space for gays. Many people at the event may be "newbies" (those still coming to terms with their sexuality and/or those who have mustered the courage to come to such an event for the first time). We request you to be sensitive to the comfort levels of others and to behave and dress accordingly. ` No dark rooms and no sex on the premises; if found indulging in any "hanky panky" you shall be asked to leave the party. ` A special REQUEST: During and after the party please DO NOT gather outside the venue. The management has requested us to ensure that, in the middle of the night, the peace of the neighbourhood is not disturbed. ` Right of admission reserved. - A few dos: ` Have a smashing time. ` Carry your Alcoholic Drinks Permit. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* For more information: www.gaybombay.org ___ Regards Luv Dee - What kind of emailer are you? Find out today - get a free analysis of your email personality. Take the quiz at the Yahoo! Mail Championship.
