Wanted: Straight woman as roommate for gay man Published: Sunday, Sep 9, 2012, 12:00 IST | Updated: Sunday, Sep 9, 2012, 0:48 IST By <http://www.dnaindia.com/authors/priyanka-maheshwari> Priyanka Maheshwari | Place: Mumbai | Agency: DNA Divik, 23, looks on as Sneha models two dresses. "The green one looks better on you," he offers, helpfully. "It makes you look sensuous and fresh." This is a scene from a time when Divik and Sneha were living together in Mumbai. They weren't dating though. Divik is gay. Divik says he had been living with men until a girl he knew moved into his flat for six months. That's when he realised he prefers living with girls. "They are more likely to accept you the way you are, giving you a sense of freedom. They don't interfere, and they don't judge you. They're more tolerant of gay men than straight guys are," he says. "Besides, girls provide tremendous emotional support and a sense of physical security." He once had a male roommate who insisted he try and have sex with a girl, just to make sure he's really gay. "With guys, I need to be cautious, as some men I've met try to analyse what is wrong with me. Questioning me and my sexuality is something no girl has ever done." He disagrees with the stereotype of girls being gossipy and tiresome. On the contrary, he feels that his male friends are sometimes bitchier than his female friends. "My male roommates used to tell me about girls who supposedly had crushes on me. I had to act surprised and glad, when I actually didn't feel a thing. I get defensive when my guy friends bad-mouth girls just for fun." Divik says he also feels closer to his women friends because he has more in common with women. He discovered this the first time a girl moved into his flat. "We used to have makeshift fashion shows at home. I've helped her and her girl friends dress up. In turn, they've dressed me up and put makeup on me. I've even seen her in lingerie and there was no awkwardness," says Divik. Ravi, 24, a gay man from Kolkata, agrees with Divik. "I'd feel more at ease living with girls because I can deal better with someone when I know how that person thinks and feels." However, Divik says it has been difficult finding a girl to live with him because housing societies in Mumbai aren't thrilled by the idea of a woman living with a man if they are not married. Given such a scenario, it would be even more difficult to find acceptance for the needs of a gay man. "It's important to have a roommate that understands you. You need someone who wouldn't be uncomfortable around you. In my experience, sometimes straight men get a little freaked out when living with gay men." According to Vivek Anand, CEO of the Humsafar Trust, "The problem is that straight men often misunderstand gay men. They think the latter might hit on them." Anand feels that a gay man rooming with a straight woman is very pragmatic. "It's mutually beneficial to both roommates - the gay man is more comfortable, and there is the added safety for girls. But this arrangement is rare because society will not allow it. For them, it is like a couple living in." Siddhartha, 23, a gay man who recently moved in with a girl, says he finds it easier to make friends with girls. "Girls are generally more caring than men. I believe they trust gay men as friends, and hence their approach towards us is genuine. Besides, I like sharing my living space with a girl because it feels very 'homely', and the house stays cleaner." He adds that it irks him that his male friends swear so much. His roommate Rimmi says she gets more privacy now that she's living with Siddhartha. "And there's no fear of being bitched about. I have lived with girls in the past, and after a point, they refuse to adjust." Living a dual life and struggling to come out of the closet, some gay men say they would like their home to be a place where they can express their feelings without inhibitions. "As a gay man, expressing myself is important. If I want flowers and colourful cushions in my house, I should be able to have them. No one should tell me I'm weird for wanting to surround myself with things that are beautiful," says Divik. 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