I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-vanelburg-sipping-served-user-04.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 2008-02-12 IETF LC End Date: 2008-02-04 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Almost Ready Comments: I have many editorial comments so it is perhaps a good idea to publish a new version and not to rely on the RFC Editor: - TOC page 2: s/Acknowledgements/Acknowledgments/ - 1 page 3 and many other places: I propose to cite RFC with "(RFC XXX [Y])" (no space after the parenthesis, one between RFC and the number) - s/signalling/signaling/ ? - 3.2 page 3: S-CSCF and AS (and ISC next page) abbrevs must be introduced (the Abstract is not considered as a part of the body of the document) (IMS is in this list too) - I don't like the plural "As's" - 4.1 page 4: I have 3 concerns with the word "allocate[d]": * assigned seems better as a client is not something one can allocate * it is not clear what is allocated to what * s/allocated for/allocated to/ ? - I don't like "*perform* its responsabilities" - s/P-Asserted-Identy/P-Asserted-Identity/ ? - if there is no reason to use "determines" 4 times in the same paragraph please vary - 4.2 page 6: s/behaviour/behavior/ ? - 4.2 page 6 (and another one): s/realised/supported/ ? (BTW it should be realized) - 4.4 page 8 last paragraph: I don't like the mix of past and future - 6 page 8: you have to introduce the meaning of P in P-Header - s/standalone/stand-alone/ ? - 10 page 10: s/Acknowledgements/Acknowledgments/ - 11.2 page 11 [12]: please check the spelling Regards [EMAIL PROTECTED] _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org http://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
