Re: [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01
HI, Kathleen, Thnas so much for your feedback. Please find my responses in-line... On 10/25/2012 05:36 PM, Moriarty, Kathleen wrote: > Summary: The document needs a few small revisions. This document > formally deprecates the IPv6 Endpoint Identification (EID) option > (hex value 0x8a). FWIW, I'll update the title to note that this in an IPv6 option. > Major issues: > > Minor issues: RFC2119 is referenced, but not used. I don't see the > use of any RFC2119 language in the document, so it may be safe to > remove this reference. Will do. > I don't think the reference for EID option is valid. I also looked > at the reference in the IANA page and that no longer contains a link. > From a google search, it looks like this was an internet draft that > was never published as an RFC and expired, > http://ana-3.lcs.mit.edu/~jnc/nimrod/eidoption.txt Listing it as "A > work in progress" when it is an expired draft s not appropriate. Ok, I will update this references as indicated. > Nits/editorial comments: > > I recommend changing the following portion of the abstract to state > what is accomplished in this draft as the language is a little > confusing: "possibly serving as a basis for providing advice" Since > this draft doesn't actually provide the advice, just says it may > provide a basis for providing the advice, I would recommend leaving > this out of the abstract. I've already applied such change -- thanks! > Recommend removing "e.g." fromt he last sentence int he Security > Considerations section as it is not needed. Change from: "However, > formally deprecating this option may serve as a basis for e.g. > providing advice about filtering packets containing such option (in a > similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 > case)." TO: "However, formally deprecating this option may serve as a > basis for providing advice about filtering packets containing such > option (in a similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for > the IPv4 case)." I've removed such sentence altogether, upon suggestion by Wes Eddy. Thanks! Best regards, -- Fernando Gont SI6 Networks e-mail: fg...@si6networks.com PGP Fingerprint: 31C6 D484 63B2 8FB1 E3C4 AE25 0D55 1D4E 7492 ___ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01
Thank you! -Original Message- From: Fernando Gont [mailto:fg...@si6networks.com] Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 1:43 PM To: Moriarty, Kathleen Cc: gen-art@ietf.org; draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option@tools.ietf.org; i...@ietf.org Subject: Re: Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01 HI, Kathleen, Thnas so much for your feedback. Please find my responses in-line... On 10/25/2012 05:36 PM, Moriarty, Kathleen wrote: > Summary: The document needs a few small revisions. This document > formally deprecates the IPv6 Endpoint Identification (EID) option > (hex value 0x8a). FWIW, I'll update the title to note that this in an IPv6 option. > Major issues: > > Minor issues: RFC2119 is referenced, but not used. I don't see the > use of any RFC2119 language in the document, so it may be safe to > remove this reference. Will do. > I don't think the reference for EID option is valid. I also looked > at the reference in the IANA page and that no longer contains a link. > From a google search, it looks like this was an internet draft that > was never published as an RFC and expired, > http://ana-3.lcs.mit.edu/~jnc/nimrod/eidoption.txt Listing it as "A > work in progress" when it is an expired draft s not appropriate. Ok, I will update this references as indicated. > Nits/editorial comments: > > I recommend changing the following portion of the abstract to state > what is accomplished in this draft as the language is a little > confusing: "possibly serving as a basis for providing advice" Since > this draft doesn't actually provide the advice, just says it may > provide a basis for providing the advice, I would recommend leaving > this out of the abstract. I've already applied such change -- thanks! > Recommend removing "e.g." fromt he last sentence int he Security > Considerations section as it is not needed. Change from: "However, > formally deprecating this option may serve as a basis for e.g. > providing advice about filtering packets containing such option (in a > similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 > case)." TO: "However, formally deprecating this option may serve as a > basis for providing advice about filtering packets containing such > option (in a similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for > the IPv4 case)." I've removed such sentence altogether, upon suggestion by Wes Eddy. Thanks! Best regards, -- Fernando Gont SI6 Networks e-mail: fg...@si6networks.com PGP Fingerprint: 31C6 D484 63B2 8FB1 E3C4 AE25 0D55 1D4E 7492 ___ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01
Thanks for these comments. They have all been addressed by means of an RFC editor note. Ron > -Original Message- > From: iesg-boun...@ietf.org [mailto:iesg-boun...@ietf.org] On Behalf Of > Moriarty, Kathleen > Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2012 4:36 PM > To: gen-art@ietf.org; draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid- > option@tools.ietf.org; i...@ietf.org > Cc: fg...@si6networks.com > Subject: Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01 > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < > http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before > posting a new version of the draft. > > Document: draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01 > Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty > Review Date: 10/25/12 > IETF LC End Date: 11/1/12 > IESG Telechat date: (if known) > > Summary: The document needs a few small revisions. > This document formally deprecates the IPv6 Endpoint Identification > (EID) option (hex value 0x8a). > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > RFC2119 is referenced, but not used. I don't see the use of any > RFC2119 language in the document, so it may be safe to remove this > reference. > > I don't think the reference for EID option is valid. I also looked at > the reference in the IANA page and that no longer contains a link. > From a google search, it looks like this was an internet draft that was > never published as an RFC and expired, http://ana- > 3.lcs.mit.edu/~jnc/nimrod/eidoption.txt > Listing it as "A work in progress" when it is an expired draft s not > appropriate. > > Nits/editorial comments: > > I recommend changing the following portion of the abstract to state > what is accomplished in this draft as the language is a little > confusing: > "possibly serving as a basis for providing advice" > Since this draft doesn't actually provide the advice, just says it may > provide a basis for providing the advice, I would recommend leaving > this out of the abstract. > > Recommend removing "e.g." fromt he last sentence int he Security > Considerations section as it is not needed. > Change from: > "However, formally deprecating this option >may serve as a basis for e.g. providing advice about filtering >packets containing such option (in a similar way to >[I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 case)." > TO: > "However, formally deprecating this option >may serve as a basis for providing advice about filtering >packets containing such option (in a similar way to >[I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 case)." > > > Thank you, > Kathleen ___ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-gont-intarea-obsolete-eid-option-01 Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty Review Date: 10/25/12 IETF LC End Date: 11/1/12 IESG Telechat date: (if known) Summary: The document needs a few small revisions. This document formally deprecates the IPv6 Endpoint Identification (EID) option (hex value 0x8a). Major issues: Minor issues: RFC2119 is referenced, but not used. I don't see the use of any RFC2119 language in the document, so it may be safe to remove this reference. I don't think the reference for EID option is valid. I also looked at the reference in the IANA page and that no longer contains a link. From a google search, it looks like this was an internet draft that was never published as an RFC and expired, http://ana-3.lcs.mit.edu/~jnc/nimrod/eidoption.txt Listing it as "A work in progress" when it is an expired draft s not appropriate. Nits/editorial comments: I recommend changing the following portion of the abstract to state what is accomplished in this draft as the language is a little confusing: "possibly serving as a basis for providing advice" Since this draft doesn't actually provide the advice, just says it may provide a basis for providing the advice, I would recommend leaving this out of the abstract. Recommend removing "e.g." fromt he last sentence int he Security Considerations section as it is not needed. Change from: "However, formally deprecating this option may serve as a basis for e.g. providing advice about filtering packets containing such option (in a similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 case)." TO: "However, formally deprecating this option may serve as a basis for providing advice about filtering packets containing such option (in a similar way to [I-D.ietf-opsec-ip-options-filtering] for the IPv4 case)." Thank you, Kathleen ___ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
