Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-intarea-shared-addressing-issues-02.txt

2011-02-08 Thread Matthew Ford
Hi,

Thanks for the review. I've noted how/whether I've addressed your comments 
inline below.

Mat


On 2 Feb 2011, at 15:18, Francis Dupont wrote:

 I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
 Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 
 http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.
 
 Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
 you may receive.
 
 Document: draft-ietf-intarea-shared-addressing-issues-02.txt
 Reviewer: Francis Dupont
 Review Date: 2011-02-01
 IETF LC End Date: 2011-02-01
 IESG Telechat date: unknown
 
 Summary: Not Ready (a new version should be published)
 
 Major issues: None
 
 Minor issues: None but there are some comments from AD review
 and many from TSVDIR review so I really expect the document will
 be changed. BTW it seems these comments are about minor issues.
 
 Nits/editorial comments:
 (including personal comments)
 
 - 1 page 4: the beginning should be updated as the forecast was
  realized...
 

Updated.


 - 5.1 page 10 (and other places):
  [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-port-randomization]  was published as RFC 6056
 

Updated.


 - 5.2.1.1 page 11: UPnP IGD 2.0 last published last year
 

Updated.

 - 9 page 14: at the exception of the last sentence the ICMP
  considerations are in fact about the ICMP echo service. I suggest
  to make this clearer: add some words at the beginning and make
  the last sentence about ICMP messages 'in general'.
 

This section now references RFC5508 for details.

 - 9 page 14: as far as I know *no* 'ping' tool supports the
  specification of the identifier to ping, so to provide
  'identifier forwarding' for pinging a host behind a NAT is useless
  (i.e., it only satisfies the ego of the programmer :-).
 

Identifier was mentioned in the context of routing incoming responses.

 - 11 page 15: IMHO in most of the cases the 'special handling'
  is reassembly. BTW if some NAT can be distributed (i.e., they
  share the mapping state) as far as I know this is never true
  for the reassembly state.
 

No change.

 - 12 page 16: in
 Address sharing solutions must record and store all mappings
 the term mappings could be considered as too general, i.e.,
 I don't believe the whole 7-tuple has to be logged. Now it is
 an informative document so a strict interpretation is not required
 (or even desirable).

No change.

 
 - 13.5 page 18 (and 6 page 13): RFC 3947 is no longer used: IKEv2
 has integrated NAT-detection/protection/traversal. IMHO at least
 the reference must be updated.

Added ref to RFC5996 in ยง13. Earlier ref to RFC3947 has been removed after AD 
comments.

 
 - 27 page 26: please update [UPnP-IGD]. BTW the UPnP v2 includes both
  IGD 1.0 and IGD 2.0 so it is enough to put the parent reference.
 

Updated.


 spelling:
 - (twice) Acknowledgements - Acknowledgments
 
 - wi-fi - Wi-Fi
 
 - (and similar) geolocates - geo-locates
 
 - (multiple) randomisation - randomization
 
 - (twice) Behaviour - Behavior
 
 - organisation - organization
 
 - realise - realize
 
 - customised - customized
 
 - centralised - centralized
 
 - (twice) optimisation - optimization
 
 - (twice) utilise - utilize
 
 (to summarize just switch to an American spelling checker :-)
 
 Regards
 
 francis.dup...@fdupont.fr

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[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-intarea-shared-addressing-issues-02.txt

2011-02-02 Thread Francis Dupont
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-intarea-shared-addressing-issues-02.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2011-02-01
IETF LC End Date: 2011-02-01
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Not Ready (a new version should be published)

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None but there are some comments from AD review
and many from TSVDIR review so I really expect the document will
be changed. BTW it seems these comments are about minor issues.

Nits/editorial comments:
(including personal comments)

 - 1 page 4: the beginning should be updated as the forecast was
  realized...

 - 5.1 page 10 (and other places):
  [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-port-randomization]  was published as RFC 6056

 - 5.2.1.1 page 11: UPnP IGD 2.0 last published last year

 - 9 page 14: at the exception of the last sentence the ICMP
  considerations are in fact about the ICMP echo service. I suggest
  to make this clearer: add some words at the beginning and make
  the last sentence about ICMP messages 'in general'.

 - 9 page 14: as far as I know *no* 'ping' tool supports the
  specification of the identifier to ping, so to provide
  'identifier forwarding' for pinging a host behind a NAT is useless
  (i.e., it only satisfies the ego of the programmer :-).

 - 11 page 15: IMHO in most of the cases the 'special handling'
  is reassembly. BTW if some NAT can be distributed (i.e., they
  share the mapping state) as far as I know this is never true
  for the reassembly state.

 - 12 page 16: in
 Address sharing solutions must record and store all mappings
 the term mappings could be considered as too general, i.e.,
 I don't believe the whole 7-tuple has to be logged. Now it is
 an informative document so a strict interpretation is not required
 (or even desirable).

 - 13.5 page 18 (and 6 page 13): RFC 3947 is no longer used: IKEv2
 has integrated NAT-detection/protection/traversal. IMHO at least
 the reference must be updated.

 - 27 page 26: please update [UPnP-IGD]. BTW the UPnP v2 includes both
  IGD 1.0 and IGD 2.0 so it is enough to put the parent reference.

spelling:
 - (twice) Acknowledgements - Acknowledgments

 - wi-fi - Wi-Fi

 - (and similar) geolocates - geo-locates

 - (multiple) randomisation - randomization

 - (twice) Behaviour - Behavior

 - organisation - organization

 - realise - realize

 - customised - customized

 - centralised - centralized

 - (twice) optimisation - optimization

 - (twice) utilise - utilize

(to summarize just switch to an American spelling checker :-)

Regards

francis.dup...@fdupont.fr
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