Tongue-in-Cheek By Cecil Pinto
"Ajeeb indeed, you Goans", smirked my friend Amit as he took one more sip of chilled beer to wash down his last mouthful of spicy sorpatel-in-bread. Eight months of living in Goa had not doused his enthusiasm for non-veg food. I suppose it was the sheer contrast to his orthodox Bengali upbringing that brought out the best of him here in Goa, and of course his constant bewilderment at our unique ways.
"Ok. What is it this time?", I asked Amit. His outsider perspective very often awakened me to anomalies in our Goan approach which I often take for granted.
"Well take those three pathetic trees in Campal. The three that have remained firmly rooted in the main road near the SAG grounds."
"What about them?", I asked. I pass these trees everyday on my way to work and when dropping my kids off to school.
"Can't you see how ridiculous it is to have them still there. They're a tragedy waiting to happen. Somebody's going to die there in an accident very soon."
"You don't understand", I exclaimed, "Nothing can be done about them. If the Government dares to cut them down we will have the environmentalists up in arms."
"So you keep them there, nearly in the middle of the road, till someone bangs into one of them and dies?"
"In a manner of speaking... yes!"
"But don't you guys understand that the environmentalists aren't really bothered now. What really was at stake was the stretch from Bal Bhavan to Miramar circle. The land owners there went back on their agreement, and didn't want to give up their precious fifteen meters of land for road widening. First they protested the tree cutting to do this. When the Government said they would have to claim their precious land if the trees were to remain then they quickly turned around and decided that the trees could go! All that remained were a few red-faced dedicated environmentalists. The pseudos vanished back into their La Campala bungalows. Selfish!"
"Well at least we Goans have been consistent in our demand that the River Princess has to be removed."
"Really? Ok check this out. Every April the agitation on the Candolim belt picks up and protest are held. Hoteliers, shack owners, shopkeepers, what-have-you. They organise dharnas and write protest letters to the newspapers. Every September the same petty businessmen quieten down and downplay the disaster-waiting-to-happen. Why? Because the holy of holies, the 'season' is approaching. And they don't want their precious charters shying away because of some news about any possible environmental problems. Once the charters have gone off in April the protests will start again. Talk about short term. These guys can't see beyond their nose, forget the next season. Selfish!"
"Now that's a bit harsh Amit. They have to make a living you know."
"Sure! Sure! Like the guys who rent their rooms and bikes to known paedophiles. Ask around on the beaches my friend. Everyone knows who the foreigner paedophiles are but nobody will bother to expose them. They do after all spend a lot of money and everyone has to make a living. Can't cut off the hand that feeds, can you? Selfish!"
"No Goan knowingly protects a person who has committed a crime!"
"Then how do you explain the totally corrupt circus of clowns that you Goans have elected to the Assembly? The whole country's laughing at the antics of these spineless shameless self-centred career politicians, and at you Goans for electing this same rubbish in every time around."
"Amit, the Zilla Parishad elections are around the corner. Just you see. A fresh crop of young representatives will be voted in to lead Goa forward."
"No, my friend. What you will have is a round of huge newspaper advertisements, paid for by the candidates themselves, made to look as though all their supporters are wishing them. And then finally who will get elected are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists. Tell me who would you vote for? Someone who helps you to build an illegal extension to your house, someone who can get your cousin out of jail, someone who can get your traffic challan cancelled, someone who can get your sister-in-law a Government job out of turn, someone who can get your servant an illegal ration card... Or would you prefer someone who has a reputation of being ethical and has a long term vision?"
"Well see it's not really an illegal extension. I just wanted to cover my van from the rain. And as for my cousin he wasn't really guilty. It was just a misunderstanding. He's supposed to get engaged next week and..."
"Ha! See what I mean. What we need is planners, visionaries, thinkers and statesmen. What you want are instant fixers. And then you guys complain."
"So if it's all that bad what are you doing here in Goa for so long? You outsiders are one of the reasons Goa is going to the dogs. You are buying all our properties and taking our jobs and ..."
"Sure I brought some property. I didn't hold a gun to the owner's head did I? He sold it to me fair and square. His son is migrating to Canada and needs a lot of money in a hurry. As for jobs. If you could do the job well yourself you wouldn't need outsiders like me would you? But forget everything for a moment. Why you so serious today? What happened to the humour angle?"
"I'm just disgusted at what's happening. I think Governor's Rule for a few years is the right thing."
"There you go again. Only in Goa do people want an appointed Governor to run things instead of an elected Government. The Governor can't do nothing for Goa my friend. Only you can. Get off your lazy butt, stop thinking about your selfish immediate concerns and take a stand, a hard rigid stand. And let all those petty minded short sighted politicians know you've had enough. We outsiders don't need to ruin your beloved Goa. You Goans are doing a pretty god job yourselves!"
------- The column above appeared in the March 2005 issue of Goa Today magazine. ====
