The Ungrateful Indian > > > > October 19, 2003 > > > > > > Permit me to draw a picture of an average persons daily morning > > routine. > > > > 1. An early raiser wakes up and puts the light on (i.e. consumes > > electricity). > > Let us assume that this person consumes electricity worth 20 paise in > > doing > > so. Maybe 2 paise get added to the Reliance treasury. > > > > 2. This person then lights up the cooking gas or puts on the > > percolator for > > the first cup of tea or coffee. Let us assume that LPG/electricity > > worth 20 > > paise is used. Another two paise may get added to the Reliance > > treasury. > > > > 3. Our common man now wants warm water for bathing. Again, he either > > consumes LPG/electricity (maybe he uses wood). Another 10 paise > > probably > > finds it way to the Reliance treasury. Drainage pipes are made of PVC. > > Maybe, another two hundred odd rupees has already found its way to the > > Reliance Treasury. > > > > 4. Now this person puts on some clothes. Yes, you guessed it right. > > Polyester fiber is the route through which rupees hundred may have > > already > > found its way to the Reliance treasury. > > > > 5. Now this person wants to make some phone calls to organize his > > day. Some > > more revenue may find its way to the Reliance treasury. > > > > 6. How about some news on television. Thanks to convergence and > > electricity, some more revenue might have found its way to the > > Reliance > > treasury. > > > > 7. This person now logs in into his mail accounts. Convergence and > > electricity > > again. > > > > 8. Now our person is ready for breakfast. LPG/electricity this time > > (or is > > the person using wood). > > > > 9. Newspapers have arrived and surprisingly, not contributed to the > > Reliance > > treasury. Something must be quickly done about this anomaly. > > > > 10. At last our person is ready to go to work. Gets into/onto the > > vehicle > > and starts the engine. Yes, you are right about petrol/diesel (did > > somebody > > say naphtha? SSShhhh .... that is the most closely guarded national > > secret). > > > > And the never ending saga of every persons daily morning routine goes > > on. > > > > Looking at the above list one can realise that the two W's, water and > > wood, > > are in urgent need of proper management and channelisation and one > > would > > also remember that the Great man spoke about these two W's. The Great > > man > > had said that he wished that he had another twenty years of life. He > > would > > have ensured that no person in the country would have lacked for the > > two W's > > (no mention of Reliance Treasury). > > > > How many people are aware of this yeomen service that the Reliance > > Group is > > providing and intends to provide to each and every person in India. > > Such > > unparalleled commitment to service and such unprecedented concern for > > the > > people of India. And yet, there are those amongst us who repeatedly > > create > > obstructions in the path of this glorious group. We obstruct the > > disinvestment of HPCL/BPCL. We insist on restricting the call > > forwarding > > facility offered by Reliance Infocomm (Group of Ministers' should > > immediately overcome this by permitting unified license). The > > Honorable > > Prime Minister of our country is giving the golden quadrilateral to > > the > > people and the Reliance Group is ready to complement the Prime > > Minister's > > efforts with their pipes. Reliance Energy is eager to provide > > electricity > > to Maharashtra (never mind if it is only a few selected cities that > > are the > > cash cows of MSEB). They are so kind and considerate that they have > > willingly left a major portion of the state for MSEB. Why is MERC > > dragging > > its feet? Despite these difficulties the group continues to offer > > their > > humble services to the people of India. And the people of India are > > being so > > ungrateful to the Reliance Group. How can we rectify this? > > > > We must insist that the name of Reliance Group be inserted into our > > national > > anthem along with Punjab, Sindh, Gujarat, Maratha, Dravida..... After > > all > > aren't they Bharata Bhagyya Vidhata? Our Honorable Minister for > > Information > > Technology has said and I quote > > > > "Should we block technologies or practices because they violate > > existing > > laws and regulations? Should we clutch on to laws and regulations > > till they > > are disregarded into complete meaninglessness? Or should we put the > > new > > possibilities to work?" > > > > I totally agree with our Honorable Minister. Old order must make way > > for the > > new. I suggest that we should replace the Ashok Chakra on our > > National Flag > > with the Reliance emblem. Our National pledge can be redrafted to > > read as > > under: > > > > India is my Country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love > > my > > country and I am proud of its Reliance Group............. > > > > That seems to be the new order anyway. If there are too many hurdles > > in the > > path of Disinvestment we should form a Ministry of Entrustment and > > entrust > > all our public sector companies to the Reliance Group. I am sure that > > there > > is nothing in our laws and the statutes of our public sector > > undertakings > > that goes against the word entrust (never mind if they have something > > against the word sale). Let us not waste time in entrusting the > > nationalised > > Banks. It will be easier to rename (entrust) the Reserve Bank of > > India as > > Reliance Bank of India. Indian Airforce can become RAF (and dwarf the > > Royal > > Air Force) and so on....... > > > > We periodically spend crores of rupees on holding elections. Such a > > pathetic > > waste. We should do away with the current system and opt for the > > Presidential form of Government and in one stroke we will become the > > largest > > Presidential Democracy. We should permanently appoint the Chairman of > > the > > Reliance Group as the President of India. All the political parties > > will > > then become redundant and we can dismantle the election commission. > > By doing > > away with Parliamentary Democracy we will never have to worry about > > another > > terrorist attack on the Parliament. Think of the enormous savings > > that we > > will make. Besides, there will be so much more order and discipline > > amongst > > our populace. Without the political parties, our masses shall be > > deprived of > > communalism and casteism. Political parties might then opt to become > > NGO's > > in pursuit of their everlasting desire to serve the people of India. > > Bureaucracy could then be replaced by Management and we would then > > get rid > > of the need to manage bureaucrats. > > > > By implementing these ideas on a priority basis, the people of India > > would > > be appropriately expressing their gratitude towards the Group that > > has been > > tirelessly rendering service to the nation. It is the solemn duty of > > every > > person in our country to recognise the contribution of this group and > > pay > > obeisance to them. We would then be well on our way to becoming a > > superpower > > and all of us would have made our humble contributions towards the > > well > > advertised desire of the Reliance Group: > > > > "Kar Lo Duniya mutthi mein". > > > > Jaspal Bhatti might not have to wait very long to see the next leap > > and the > > Group might well be poised for: > > > > "Kar Lo Chand mutthi mein". > > > > Again, the Group would be offering sterling services to all the newly > > weds > > who intend to go on a honeymoon. > > > > JAI HIND or does one say JAI R------- (after all the Group has shown > > such > > exemplary dedication to the cause of the nation and its people that > > there > > should be no hesitation in using the two words interchangeably) > > > > Kaustubh Deshpande.