[Goanet] Forlorn, Like An Outcast

[Roland Francis]

My name is Tanner. Right now, I'm an 18 year old ex-Muslim gay atheist living 
in Cape Town, South Africa.

I grew up in a very large, devout Muslim family. My immediate family (mother, 
father, two older brothers, one older sister) were not really religious but, 
like almost all the Muslims I know, would never question Allah or his "perfect" 
messenger, no matter how much they silently disagreed with them.

Being the youngest, and also a rather introverted boy interested in books and 
nature rather than cars and girls, I was always seen as the odd one out; 
however, it was never a problem as long as I went to mosque, prayed 
occasionally and went to Madrassah (Muslim-school held for an hour every day 
after "normal" school). I have always been a creative and inquisitive person 
and, when I learned (at a young age) that you "cannot" question Islam, I took 
to art to express my concerns. I wrote stories and painted and drew and 
listened to blasphemous music such as black metal, all in an attempt to step 
outside of the bubble of Islam. For that is truly what it is: a giant bubble 
that attempts to make all within it impervious to the reality of nature and 
life.

I hit puberty early, and matured faster that my male peers, and when I realised 
I was attracted to the same sex, I knew I was in trouble. I had never felt such 
fear in my life. I pushed all the questions and doubts I had aside, locked them 
away in a dungeon, and turned to and pleaded with Allah, beseeching him to help 
me overcome this "evil" of homosexuality. I became insanely devout. Dedicated 
my time to worship and prayer and reading about the beauty of Islam and Allah 
and Muhammad. There was a brief period of time when I was 15 going on 16 where 
I wanted to drop out of school so as to pursue a lifelong path of dedication to 
Allah. In hindsight, what breaks my heart is that my parents were happy for me, 
they WANTED me to drop out!

And then, like all major emotional changes, it happened suddenly and with no 
warning. One night I was praying to Allah and asking him to forgive me of my 
sins (as I would do every day, five times a day, which leads me to wonder: how 
much sins can a teenager possibly have?) and the next I was in bed, crying, 
bleeding from self-inflicted wounds in my wrists. I had been deceiving my 
family, my friends, myself, into believing that I was truly happy. The part of 
me I had locked in a dungeon years ago had grown and had broken free. But I 
couldn't let it out! Becoming... that monster... would mean an eternity of 
hell-fire as determined by the benevolent, just Allah. I pushed it down. It 
took so much will power to restrict my true identity that I had no energy for 
anything else: no energy to smile, eat, study, nothing. I had sunk into a black 
pit and I couldn't see myself escaping. 

I woke up each morning furious, cursing God and then immediately seeking his 
forgiveness. Then, one day, I realised I had been talking to myself for all 
these years. Only me. No god. I cursed god and didn't ask his forgiveness, and 
I remember feeling my heart race. Had I just become an Atheist?

My parents had never had a happy marriage, but it was right about at this time 
that it all just went downhill. My brothers were recovering drug addicts, my 
sister was seeing an abusive boyfriend, my parents were on the brink of a 
divorce - what kind of a shitty son would come to his family at this time with 
the news that he is gay? "They can't deal with this as well. And neither can I. 
There's only one thing to do."

So I attempted suicide.

I remember waking up in hospital and feeling nothing but pure, unadulterated 
rage. Rage because these people - these doctors and the ones who called 
themselves my family - had robbed me of the one chance I had at being happy! I 
was tired of being a mere shadow of myself, wasting away in an unwashed pool of 
misery and defeat. I wanted it to end! "F**k god!" I screamed. "F**k god! F**k 
you! F**k all of you! I shouldn't be here!" I remember vaguely my mom sitting 
next to my hospital bed praying in Arabic. My eldest brother was there as well. 
No-one else, except for the doctors and nurses.

"I shouldn't be here!" I screamed until I succumbed to sleep.

Fast forwarding:
I came out to my parents a few days later, both that I am gay and an Atheist. I 
assume they were so shocked about my sexuality that they never registered my 
Atheism. They still treat me as if I'm Muslim. The word gay isn't mentioned 
around the house. I focused on myself this year (my last year at school) and 
became one of the top students at my school. I got in to study Theoretical 
Physics at the University of Stellenbosch. I am openly gay but, around my 
family, a closet Atheist. After I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and 
depression, I tried to establish a good support structure of friends. It has 
helped, but every day my situation at home gets worse. An abusive father, and a 
whole family who looks at me 

[Goanet] Papa's Old Konkani Song

[Frederick Noronha]

https://youtu.be/FzXYW9wn47o
Mervyn Maciel mervynels.watuwashamba at gmail.com. wrote on Dec 22, 2021:
"I was so taken up by the participants on that programme [the Saxtti
Uloichim Konkani Christmas Carols Programme yesterday], that my mind went
back to my childhood days. With the help of my granddaughter from Berlin, I
have recorded this old song I sang as a 10-year old in Goa. You can send it
to the group - not perfect at my age!" Shared with permission by Frederick
Noronha (FN). https://youtu.be/FzXYW9wn47o
ᐧ

[Goanet] Newspaper in song? Editorial in verse?

[Frederick Noronha]

https://youtu.be/xATHJBcXeJ4
ᐧ

[Goanet] GOVT AND THE PARTY POLITICS CANNOT BE CONVENIENTLY MERGED

[Aires Rodrigues]

There has to be a clear dividing line between government programs and that
of the political party in Power. We have over the last decade seen the BJP
glaringly converting government functions into a political party affair.
The latest is the Liberation Day celebrations which more than obviously
looked like a BJP celebration.

The government has been misusing power and official machinery to try and
get as much mileage for the party. But the people of Goa who have suffered
at the hands of this rampant corruption and bad governance of this
government can read between the lines and will not be fooled in these
devious maneuvers by the BJP.

Spending taxpayer’s money to promote the image of the political party in
Power is impermissible and it is surprising that the State administration
is a mere spectator to this gory state of affairs.

And with Goa going to the polls very soon, despite the Code of Conduct not
already in force it is incumbent that the Election Commission should act
against such abuse of power and misuse of taxpayers’ money to gain
political mileage.

It is anguishing that a financially bankrupt government is spending
enormously on all these state functions only to try and promote its image.
But it will be all in vain as the people of Goa want to be liberated once
again, this time from the BJP.

Adv. Aires Rodrigues

C/G-2, Shopping Complex

Ribandar Retreat

Ribandar – Goa – 403006

Mobile No: 9822684372

Office Tel  No: (0832) 2444012

Email: airesrodrigu...@gmail.com



You can also reach me on

Facebook.com/ AiresRodrigues

Twitter@rodrigues_aires

www.airesrodrigues.in

[Goanet] [The Washington Post] South Africa’s huge omicron wave appears to be subsiding just as quickly as it grew

[Gabe Menezes]

South Africa’s huge omicron wave appears to be subsiding just as quickly as
it grew

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2021/12/22/south-africa-omicron-coronavirus-cases/

[Goanet] Schedule for Thursday 23rd December 2021

[CCR TV]

CCR TV GOA
Channel of God's love✝

You can also watch CCR TV live on your smartphone via the CCR TV App
Available on Google PlayStore for Android Platform.
Click the link below.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ccr.tv4
Email ID:  ccrgoame...@gmail.com

Schedule for  Thursday 23rd December 2021

12:00 AM
Rosary - Luminous Mysteries

12:27 AM
Kumsar zaunk lozonakai ani vaumtem udok addaunk thokos gheinakaim - Orlando
D'Souza

1:00 AM
Mass in Konkani for Wednesday

1:40 AM
Rocking Carols- Fabiola Lopes

2:00 AM
Saibinnichi Ruzai - Uzvaddache Mister

2:26 AM
Devachem Utor - Suttka - Avesvor 15 - Vachpi Orlando D'Souza

2:35 AM
Health Matters  - Twins - Dr. Lynette Fernandes

2:53 AM
Tell Me a Story  - Eps 44 - God guides his pepole through the desert

3:00 AM
Museum - Sant Thome Varca 3/3

3:35 AM
Mil Mel Nel - Nevem Voros

3:45 AM
Katholik Bhavarth - Talk by Adv. F.E. Noronha

4:39 AM
Tell Me a Story  - Eps 46 - God feeds his people

4:47 AM
Marienchem Jivit Appnnaum-ia- Talk by Fr Henry Falcao

5:18 AM
Song : Christmas Mashup -  1 Tri

5:28 AM
Politics - A Noble Profession ? - Eps 3  Dr Jorson Fernandes

6:03 AM
Ximpientlim Motiam - Bhag  173  - Mahesh Savani - Fr Pratap Naik sj

6:11 AM
Broadening the horizons of your minds - Talk 2 - Fr Fio Mascarenhas sj

6:50 AM
Adlea kallant monis khoreamnich zaitim vorsam jivetalo - Rev. Melito D'Costa

6:55 AM
Sokalchem Magnnem  -  Advent 17th to 24th  December

7:00 AM
Praise and Worship - Retreat for Families - SJVRC

7:23 AM
Morning Prayer - Advent  17th to 24 th December

7:28 AM
Hymn - Namo - Fr Glen D'Silva sfx

7:45 AM
The Eucharist - Fr Fernando da Costa

8:47 AM
Understand your faith - Randomly opening the Bible - is it right? - Rev
Melito D'Costa

8:52 AM
Song - Ballok Jezu - Zia Rodrigues

8:56 AM
Hymn : Rochnar Atmea - Winston Colaco

9:01 AM
How to Stay Spiritually Fresh - Talk by Alfwold Silveira

9:29 AM
Bhokti Lharam - Bhag 2

9:36 AM
Abundant Life - Simple Life - Prof Nicholas D'Souza

10:00 AM
On the Third Day  - Vegetable Cultivation - Nelson Figueiredo

10:30 AM
Novena Prayer to St Joseph Vaz

10:32 AM
Gaionancho Jhelo - Jezu amchi Xanti - Monica Fernandes

10:35 AM
Carol - Mari Matek Ballok Zala - Students of Chowgule College - Ft. Jeslan
Rizvan Ferrao

10:40 AM
Orlando Jezuchea zolmaho zagbo sadho

11:10 AM
Synod of Bishops 2023 - Basics in English

11:15 AM
Prayer Dance - 4th Anniversary St Mathias Parish

11:20 AM
Angelus - English

11:22 AM
Prayer for the Synod 2023

11:24 AM
Intercessions in English

11:30 AM
Mass in English from Cruz Milsgre followed by Daily Flash

12:15 PM
Don't be Lukewarm - Talk by Lenny Soares

1:07 PM
Devachem Utor - Suttka - Avesvor 15 - Vachpi Orlando D'Souza

1:18 PM
The Golden Brigade - Francisco and Anita Fernandes

1:48 PM
Goal Post Ep 4 - Savio Medeira interviewed by Jovito Lopes

2:17 PM
Hymn - St Thomsa H.S. Cansaulim

2:23 PM
Bhurgem Zaunchem Asa Team Avoiancher Bhagevont Zuze Vazache Mozotin Magnnem

2:25 PM
Bhagevont Zuze Vazache mozotin Piddestam Khatir Magnnem

2:30 PM
Parish of the Week - Aldona (Concise Presentation)

3:30 PM
Deivik Kaklutichi Magnneam

3:40 PM
Hymn - Vakhann'nni Tuka - Stanley Severes

3:46 PM
Magnificat (English)

3:48 PM
Song - A Goan Christmas - Alfwold Silveira

3:51 PM
Song - Amcho Sobit Modgovam- Carmel Youth , Margao

3:57 PM
Hymn - Rochnar Otmea denvun ie - Fr Seville Antao OFM(Cap)

4:00 PM
Rosary - Luminous Mysteries

4:27 PM
Prayer of children for their parents

4:30 PM
Senior Citizens Exercises - COOJ

4:56 PM
Prayer : Benedictus

5:00 PM
Christmas Snow - A concert by Fabiola Lopes

5:14 PM
Aimorechen Magnnem

5:17 PM
Eucharist - Talk by Gaurish Naik

5:49 PM
Tell Me a Story  - Eps 46 - God feeds his people

5:57 PM
Prayer for the Synod 2023 - Konkani

6:00 PM
Konkani Mass from Panjim Church followed by Jivitacho Prokas

6:45 PM
David and Goliath - Talk by Dr Silvia Noronha

7:22 PM
Ximpientlim Motiam - Bhag  173  - Mahesh Savani - Fr Pratap Naik sj

7:30 PM
Saibinnichi Ruzai - Uzvaddache Mister

7:56 PM
Our Father - Khasi

8:00 PM
Kumsar zaunk lozonakai ani vaumtem udok addaunk thokos gheinakaim - Orlando
D'Souza

8:33 PM
Adlea kallant monis khoreamnich zaitim vorsam jivetalo - Rev. Melito D'Costa

8:40 PM
My Music Videos - Martyrinchi Rani - Ivor Dcunha

8:47 PM
Devachem Utor - Suttka - Avesvor 16 - Vachpi Orlando D'Souza

9:00 PM
Adoration 8 - St Anthony Church, Siolim

9:30 PM
Ratchem Magnem

9:40 PM
Politics - A Noble Profession ? - Eps 3  Dr Jorson Fernandes

10:15 PM
Katholik Bhavarth - Talk by Adv. F.E. Noronha

11:10 PM
Literally Goa - Dr Celsa Pinto interviewed by Frederick Noronha

11:41 PM
Archbishop's message on 4th Annniversary of CCR TV

11:49 PM
Global Goan Virtual Choir

Donations may be made to:
Beneficiary name : CCR GOA MEDIA.
Name of Bank : ICICI Bank
Branch Name: Panaji Branch
RTGS/NEFT Code : ICIC015
Savings Bank Account No : 262401000183

[Goanet] WHATABOUTERY

[John Eric Gomes]

*NEW DEFINATION OF LYNCHING*
Whilst Rahul Gandhi made a technically wrong statement implyng lynching was
unheard of before 2014, the BJP hit back with Rajiv Gandhi was the father
of lynching meaning the violence perpetrated after the assasination of
Indira Gandhi.So there was lynching indulged in but what Rahul meant was so
very many occasions and the type of lynching namely for many reasons like
cattle smuggling, suspicion of eating beef, hurting religious sentiments,
caste differences of marriages etc where the person is beaten to death
There is no new defination. This State patronage to vigilantes was not
there and now with the Prime MInister condemning lynching this  must stop!
Two wrongs do not make a right and this whataboutery to justify wrongs
should not cut ice anymore ?Transparency and accountability seems to have
disappeared ! You cannot fool all the people all the time.

[Goanet] Political circus in Goa

[Nelson Lopes]

Political circus in Goa

It is unimaginable why political parties like TMC   AAP CONGRESS BJP Shiv
Sena  are making a beeline, trying to get a foothold in tiny  State of Goa.
.AAP and Shiv Sena  at least   have  had their presence  but have not
opened an  account. Besides APP stellar performance in Delhi  for second
term and not so spectacular performance of TMC is undesrtsndable.AAP HAS
OPENED account  in Punjab and has rightly fuelled  ambitions for National
party label.in contrast TMC  Shiv Sena are confined within boundaries of
respective states  BJP having ruled by fair and foul means do not want to
be seen as party under decline
What makes Goa an attractive  state to clamour for power and a foothold Is
it literacy, high per capita income? .TMC  has made a surprise dent by
luring and poaching on existing legislators  as a successful strategy.  Is
the defections ideological  as simple as it looks and why are they willing
to put their political careers on the chopper block?.Will this approach
translate into winning proposal?  AAP is no better in similar game of
encouraging defections..Congress has decimated itself into political
oblivion and gasping for breath of survival
BJP is getting the taste of its own medicine due to desertion from Marmagoa
Taluka to start with.It is keeping the option against 10 Congress and MGP
defectors  deferred  so that at  the last  moment get them disqualified to
remove any obstructions in race for tickets and dissent from loyal party
workers
Every party wants to make Gos a paradise  which already enjoys that tag
internationally and now infamous for drug conduit . Sex trafficking
,rapes  epi.centre
The emphasis to woe the voters is freebies of free water, electricity and
enticing women by various welfare Scheme , raking up dormant religious
sentiments for four centuries
These non productive allurements will only increase the debt.There is no
focus on preserving the environment  providing employment,  rooting out
corruptionbetter roads  and  continuous water supply, electricity  and
doles is no solution to vast migration  of Goans in search of jobs to keep
the fires burning
Goans are surprised at the new entrants not making attempts to record their
presence in any larger states where elections are also due
Do they want to establish here a holiday  home for vacation,  considering
hospitality, a mix of life styles, religious harmony, a serene environment
pollution free and liberal attitude of populace  towards outsiders? Their
motives, intentions are a suspect,  they cannot be expected  to further
interest of Goa and if so in what way may I ask?
Why Goans do not unite by forging unity for strong, regional  local  party,
like TMC, AIDMK, SHIV SENA ETC as in other states of India. The
preservation of identity  culture  customs traditions can be best achieved
by regional outfits and so all our interests. In stead we are merging,
forming alliances,  dissolving parties.Many like UGP, MGP, Save Goa  UDP
have become extinct and new ones like Goencho awaz Goan Revilutionary party
will disappear after elections
Nelson Lopes  Chinchinim

[Goanet] Zero the Way to Go-CSE’s Weekly News Bulletin - December 22, 2021

[Sunita Narain]

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CSE’s Weekly News Bulletin

December 21, 2021

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BULLETIN HIGHLIGHTS

Editorial by Sunita Narain

Stories from Down To Earth

Announcement

New Publications

Job

 

 

Sunita Narain

Editor, Down To Earth

 Twitter: @sunitanar 

Zero the way to go

India is rapidly evolving its policies to deal with garbage — the
waste generated from the use of materials at homes, institutions and
factories. The evolution must now reflect in our actions. Our
“waste” must become a resource — to be reworked, reused and
upcycled. This will minimise the use of materials in our world and
mitigate environmental damage. It’s a win-win solution.

We know that the “nature” of solid waste changes as societies get
richer and urbanise. Instead of biodegradable (wet) waste, households
generate more plastic, paper, metal and other non-biodegradable (dry)
waste. The quantity of waste generated on per capita basis also
increases. Many of the country’s urban areas are already on the
trajectory where waste generation has risen exponentially...

Continue Reading


Announcements

 

A YE Contest

Pinky Promise @2022


 

Training

Action Plans for Making Cities River- and Water-Sensitive, January
10-13, 2022


 

CSE’s Annual Media Conclave

Anil Agarwal Dialogue 2022, March 1-4, 2022


 

Gobar Times

Read the latest edition of December 2021 now!


 

Book

Pre-order your copies now :State of India’s Environment 2022


Please visit www.cseindia.org

for more training programmes and announcements.

>From Down to Earth

 

When the Himalayas lose: Assessing Char Dham Pariyojana judgment

The route, which connects 4 ancient Himalayan pilgrimages, runs
through fragile valleys of Bhagirathi: The Ganga, Alaknanda, Mandakini
and Yamuna

Re: [Goanet] India’s African Kings: an interesting story.

[Allan Mascarenhas]

Very interesting, thanks for sharing.

 

From: tgo...@googlegroups.com  On Behalf Of 
ymirconsult...@gmail.com
Sent: December 20, 2021 10:39 AM
To: Goanet ; Goans ; Tanzanite 2020 

Subject: India’s African Kings: an interesting story. 

 


https://www.livehistoryindia.com/story/history-daily/indias-african-kings/

 

Sent from my iPhone

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