----- Original Message ----- From: floriano
To: Ashwin Tombat Sent: Sunday, October 05, 2008 11:31 AM Subject: I AM VERY VERY JEALOUS OF ALEXIO REGINALDO LOURENCO
This Sunday morning, I didn't go for the Sunday Mass as usual. The reason being that I have long since realized that I don't fit among the 'only' SUNDAY CHRISTIANs or SUNDAY Catholics or whatever. But Sunday, although it is supposed to be a day of rest, life is so much of a rat-race, that it is next to impossible for a guy who has to feed his own stomach (extra on a Sunday) as well as put food on the plates of the family members, to have the luxury of resting, that too the whole day through. There was a time when a New Lifer passing by, wished me a happy Sunday as I was watering my coconut trees and reminded me that one does not have to water one's trees, that GOD does it. 'Oh!' I had said to him. "Wish your GOD would hold this hose-pipe for me, sometimes".
No, that is not what I am punching this keyboard for. The reason is that when I picked up my Sunday newspapers, wanting to give a cursory glance at the news headlines, I found the 'HERALD' most heavy for once to lift off the table. When I started flipping page after page and until I got to Page 10, I could see it was the heaviness of the Goa's Mineral Ore. The doyen of Goa's mining Industry, Vishwasrao D. Chowgule was no more. Sad, God rest his soul in peace. Perhaps the RP-2021 didn't go well with him, was what crossed my mind. But the real weight hit me when I turned to page 12. If anyone could be blue with envy, I am your man. And all this while I had thought Aleixo Reginaldo Lourenco was a nice person to have as one's MLA. But such infatuation? My Gawd Almighty. Entire page 12 and 13, nothing but Aleixo Reginaldo Lourenco?. 'Ah' I muttered, turning to page 14 and 15. That's the end of him. And I was beginning to thaw from my blue envy, but page 16 and 17 got me the relapse. And even the last page 18 was not a consolation. Aleixo Reginaldo was staring at me there too. Little consolation that it was just the two of him.
Blue envy can be reel bad. Forgetting the chores I was getting ready to handle, I dived into action just to see how heavy this guy really was. So I ran down to my den to get a paper and pencil, the calculator and the ruler. And I set about checking the 'centimeter columns' of each ad. It took me a while and this is what I got: 1x5x1; 1x6x2; 1x7x2; 2x4x1; 2x5x34; 2x6x7; 2x 6.5 x 3; 2x7x4; 2x8x3; 2x12x1; 2x10x2; 4x8x3; 8x12.5x1. which makes a total of 78 ads with a count of 918 centimeter columns, with just one 1x6 ad without the birthday boy's picture. That does no justice to the straight record setting. But I must confess that most of all I envy your public relations officer, whoever it is, for his gifted talent of convincing so many people to shell out to make you the most popular boy in town. And, surely, it does not go well to ease out the mindset of your colleague, Mickky Pacheco, who has different plans for you.
Not being used to the rates per centimeter column of display ads, I put it down to a mere Rs. 120, the rate I was familiar with in the past. The figure of 1,10, 168.00 was not very convincing in these days of drawing blood. So I invested in a call to Herald and got the current rate of display ad, a whopping Rs. 280/cc. My fingers were literally quivering when I punched the calculator keys. Whow! Cheers Herald. You have hit the gold mine. Who cares for the miserable iron ore when one smart recently elected birthday boy can give you Rs. 2, 57, 040.00????.
This is not the New Year's resolution but I have resolved to start a News Paper. And I am going to give a substantial discount to all the political and non political birthday boys.
And to think of it that reel blue envy can catapult you into the right type of business, Happy Birthday Aleixo Reginaldo Lourenco. May you live longest and thereby may you hot up the newspaper birthday greetings competition among your other 39 colleagues like never before so that my new business venture soars up into the sky.
Floriano Lobo 383A Pirazona, Moira-Bardez-Goa. 9890470896 - 2470223
