[JOKES] Vuorajenie:)
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[JOKES] 100% work
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How aboutachieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?IfA B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.Then,H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close,attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.And look how far this will take you..A S S K I S S I N G1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%Think about it...and have a nice day at work!!
[JOKES] Tight skirt
Pojelawam na wsichki podobni zapoznanstwa :-) Tight SkirtIn a busy city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waitingfor the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather miniskirt with matchingtight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it was her turn toget on the bus, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow herleg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So, slightlyembarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behindher and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give herenough slack to raise her leg.Again she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she stillcould not make the step. A little more embarrassed, she once again reachedbehind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time sheattempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raiseher leg because of the tight skirt.With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offendingskirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.About this time the big Texan who was behind her in the line picked her upeasily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching athim, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!!"At this the Texan drawled, " Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you,but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we wasfriends."
[JOKES] Short English Course for Engineers
ëÒÁÔËÉÊ ËÕÒÓ ÁÎÇÌÉÊÓËÏÇÏ ÑÚÙËÁ ÄÌÑ ÉÎÖÅÎÅÒÏ×. óÁn YÏu hÅÁr mÅ - ôÙ ÍÏÖÅÛØ ÍÅÎÑ ÚÄÅÓØ. UndrÅssÅd ÓustÏm mÏdÅl - çÏÌÁÑ ÔÁÍÏÖÅÎÎÁÑ ÍÏÄÅÌØ. íÁniÓurÅ - äÅÎØÇÉ ÌÅÞÁÔ. I'm just Ásking - ñ ×ÓÅÇÏ ÌÉÛØ ËÏÒÏÌØ ÖÏÐ. I hÁvÅ bÅÅn thÅrÅ - õ ÍÅÎÑ ÔÁÍ ÆÁÓÏÌØ. GÏd ÏnlÕ knÏws - åÄÉÎÓÔ×ÅÎÎÙÊ ÎÏÓ ÂÏÇÁ. WÅ ÁrÅ thÅ ÓhÁmÒiÏns - íÙ ÛÁÍÐÉÎØÏÎÙ. DÏ YÏu fÅÅl Álright? - ôÙ ÓÐÒÁ×Á ×ÓÅÈ ÚÎÁÅÛØ? ÷ÕÅ bÕÅ bÁbÕ, bÁbÕ gÏÏd bÕÅ - ëÕÐÉ-ËÕÐÉ ÒÅÂÅÎËÁ, ÒÅ£ÎÏË - ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÏËÕÐËÁ. ôÏ bÅ Ïr nÏt tÏ bÅ? - ðÞÅÌÁ ÉÌÉ ÎÅ ÐÞÅÌÁ?. I fÅll in lÏvÅ - ñ Ó×ÁÌÉÌÓÑ × ÌÀÂÏ×Ø. Just in ÓÁsÅ - ôÏÌØËÏ × ÐÏÒÔÆÅÌÅ. I will nÅvÅr givÅ uÒ - íÅÎÑ ÎÉËÏÇÄÁ ÎÅ ÔÏÛÎÉÔ. ïh dÅÁr - áÈ ÏÌÅÎØ. I sÁw mÕ îÏnÅÕ tÏdÁÕ - ñ ÐÉÌÉÌ ÍÏÊ Í£Ä ÓÅÇÏÄÎÑ. I'm gÏing tÏ mÁkÅ ÕÏu minÅ - ñ ÉÄÕ ËÏÐÁÔØ ÔÅÂÅ ÛÁÈÔÕ. íÁÕ GÏd bÅ with ÕÏu - íÁÊÓËÁÑ ÈÏÒÏÛÁÑ ÐÞ£ÌËÁ Ó ÔÏÂÏÊ. Finnish ÒÅÏÒlÅ - ëÏÎÞÅÎÙÅ ÌÀÄÉ. ÷Ád influÅnÓÅ - ðÌÏÈÁÑ ÐÒÏÓÔÕÄÁ. òhÏnÅ sÅllÅr - ðÏÚ×ÏÎÉ ÐÒÏÄÁ×ÃÕ. GÏÏd ÒrÏduÓts - âÏÇ ÎÁ ÓÔÏÒÏÎÅ ÕÔÏË. LÅt's hÁvÅ Á ÒÁrtÕ - äÁ×ÁÊÔÅ ÏÒÇÁÎÉÚÕÅÍ ÐÁÒÔÉÀ. WÁtÓh Ïut! - ðÏÓÍÏÔÒÉ ÓÎÁÒÕÖÉ! I knÏw his stÏrÕ wÅll - ñ ÚÎÁÀ Ô×ÏÊ ÉÓÔÏÒÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ËÏÌÏÄÅÃ. òrÅss sÒÁÓÅ bÁr tÏ ÓÏntinuÅ - ëÏÓÍÉÞÅÓËÉÊ ÂÁÒ ÐÒÅÓÓÙ ÐÒÏÄÏÌÖÁÅÔ. I lÏvÅ ÕÏu bÁbÕ - ñ ÌÀÂÌÀ ×ÁÓ, ÂÁÂÙ!
