Dear Friends in Christ, It's good to know so many among us sharing on the topic of. Also noteworthy are many life experiences on the topic of arranged marriage. It's very disheartening however to see that one is shown only one side of the coin and a general assumption made that Love marriages fail. Moresover it is a sorry state as mentioned by Br. Jude Asogwa that too much of emphasis is laid upon the erotic love.
Let me share my set of experiences - I also belong to an organization called "Legion of Mary". I personally know many members among the same group who liked each other came before God, seeked His blessings and are happily married till date......so what if they were in love before marriage.......who are we to judge whether their falling in love before marriage is a "Sin". That means even Jacob was a sinner because he felled in love with Rachael (does the Bible say so, esp. to those who quote the Bible and interpret the Word of God according to their convenience). I am sorry to say but how can one interpret the Bible just to prove their point. This was even done by the Pharisees when they brought the woman caught in adultery in front of Jesus and they quoted the word of God where the law of Moses mentioned that in such situation, the woman has to be stoned to death. What did Jesus had to say, He asked the Pharisees, the one who has not committed any sin will throw the first stone. Then was there anyone to condemn her, no one. But the word of God says "Adultery is a sin" still Jesus forgived her because above every law is God's Love & Mercy. It's a good thing that many get married to the girl/boy their parents make a choice but it's definitely not bad to like a girl or boy and then show him/her to the parents and seek their approval. How can one say that the choice of getting arranged marriage was yours infact everything done in our lives is a plan of God. How can we judge that my neighbour who did a love marriage is wrong and that I have done an arranged marriage am right? Who r we to point out to the plan of God. I have seen so many arranged marriages breaking up. What reason can u give here? How can anyone make a statement that Love marriages fail? How can some people be so fanatic? I can only say that a term like LOVE has been badly smashed and brought down to a level of erotic love by many among us. Inspite of making it very clear the different kinds of love, still why the falling in love is condemned as erotic love. I can understand this kind assault being done by the others who knows nothing about Agape love. "DON'T FALL AND GET FRACTURED" - I would like to put my own comments........if only Jesus wud have thought like this and avoided falling just because He was scared of the pain, I donno whether we cud have enjoyed Salvation. Christ says unless you fall you cannot rise. I am not encouraging anyone to fall in love before marriage neither am I against arranged marriage, I only want to say that let us not close our minds. God has His own way of working. His plans for different people will be different and we have no right to question it. wrong choices are made by us whether in arranged or love marriage but God who Loves us too much can change every bad thing to good. I have seen many arranged marriages being total failures. What answer is there for this. Why these marriages are broken if only arranged marriage is the will of God and why Love marriages sustain if it is not the will of God. This argument of arranged marriage being the will of God and love not being the will of God is baseless. I have seen some of my friends seeking the will of God before taking the decision of marriage in their lives be it Love marriage or arranged. One of my close colleague who also counsels many had shared one of this experience which I had mentioned in the previous mail and that is of purifying oneself before receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony. How many couples spend time in making a good confession and come before the Lord with a pure heart. Unless the couples purify themselves and seek the blessings of their parents, then the marriage will face tremendous difficulties. It's very important to seek the blessings and approval for the marriage from Parents. Without the consent of the parents, God doesn't give consent. I know of a friend who waited for almost 10 years to receive the consent of their parents and after that they got married. I know of one friend who approached a counselor in Potta and seeked advise whether she can marry the guy she loves and the counselor (who was a Nun) after praying advised her that she cannot perceive any problems in her marriage but that God's will be confirmed after her parents give a consent to her marriage and that happened. We are no one to judge whether Love or arranged marriage is the will of God. God's plans are marvelous and above human knowledge. No can measure it or question it. And please it's a sincere request not to quote the word of God unnecessarily only to prove one's point. God is in control of every situation whether be it Love marriage or Arranged. But important is whether we give Him the first place in our lives. This is important. If we fail to do that we will only be shattered. Because nothing can hold together if the bond of unity, Christ himself is missing. May Christ be the center of every marriage. Love & Prayers Jennifer Mumbai ----- Original Message ----- From: "Wilson Thomas" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 9:28 AM Subject: Re: [JOYnet] Don't fall and get fractured > Hi Friends, > > Sebastian inspired me to share my experience as well. My parents asked my > permission to look for a girl. I said it is you decided everything until > now. So you will choose my girl. They were very happy hearing that. I was in > Singapore that time. > > They arranged marriage and informed me the date of betrothal and wedding!! I > did not even saw a photo my girl. I took leave and got married to the same > girl. She is a true gift for me from God. When my parents were planing, here > in Singapore there was a prayer group praying for me to guide my parents to > choose the best. > > How God acted? Believe.. what you are going to read is true .. > > That time there was another strong proposal for "my girl" from a rich > family. They have decided to fix that. The day before giving world they all > went to Church and prayed. That night my father -in-law saw a dream of > cremation and he was there. He got scared and rejected that proposal. Next > choice (but God's first choice) was mine. The same they did. All went to > Church and prayed one day before giving us word. That night he dreamt a > marriage feast. He was walking around and talking to everyone happily. They > FIXED my proposal.. > > Let me repeat the "words of Sebastian" > > > Blessed are those who get married with the one selected by God for you. > > Blessed are those who wait and discern Gods plans before falling and get > > fractured. > > Praise the Lord > > Wilson Thomas > Singapore > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Sebastian Kakkasseri" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 6:44 PM > Subject: [JOYnet] Don't fall and get fractured > > > > Dear Gigu, > > > > i forward it to u as my previous mails are not coming in joynet. > > tk > > seb > > > > This is my own story > > > > Before my marriage, one of my friends brought a proposal for me from > Kuwait. > > She was also working here. We introduced each other, talked, understood > each > > other etc. etc.. Then What? > > > > Next step is decision making, but before that discernment. I prayed to > God, > > but didnt get any discernment (I didnt know the tricks of Dr.Sindhu). > Then > > I made a suggestion, let us leave it for our parents to make the final > > decision, until that we will wait(I am also tricky know?). My discernment > > was this that God will speak through our parents. > > > > Later our parents started enquiries, discussions etc. and finally they > > disagreed each other for some silly reasons. > > > > Now we had two choices. > > > > (1) We are matured, have good jobs and can insist our parents to forget > > about the disagreements and to go ahead with wedding arrangements. > > > > Or > > > > (2) To obey our parents and keep our relationship as good friends. > > > > I selected the 2nd one (that was my discerning point) and called her to > > inform it. I was little bit scared because I didnt know her stand. But > for > > my surprise, before I start, she was advising me to select the 2nd as she > > already selected it. > > > > You might be laughing, .as...wearefools. Am I right? But I would like > to > > mention a few points. > > > > We were not lovers, means no commitments. So there was no disappointment > > also. > > > > I was well aware about Gods plans, though it was not clear for me. So no > > chance for any jumps or falls. > > > > Blessed are those who get married with the one selected by God for you. > > Blessed are those who wait and discern Gods plans before falling and get > > fractured. > > > > (Dont worry if anybody fractured already, Lord can repair even a > fractured > > relationship) > > > > > > Sebastian Kuwait > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. > > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail > > > > > ============================================================================ > === > > This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. > > For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet > > To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join > > In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > ============================================================================ > === > > ============================================================================ === > This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. > For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet > To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join > In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] > ============================================================================ === =============================================================================== This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. For more info on the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet To unsubscribe from the list send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to the list visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet/join In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] ===============================================================================
