I don't think we have seen this one before - my sister sent it to me... ------- Forwarded message follows ------- In message <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, Kate Willis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes > >----- Original Message ----- >From: sue butler >To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ; Kate Willis >Sent: Saturday, October 11, 2003 7:03 AM >Subject: Interesting correspondence > > >Here is a bit of reading for you: > > > This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the >Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. >This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before > you get to the response letter. > > SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County > > Dear Mr. DeVries: > > It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental >Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above >referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal >landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: > > Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet > stream of Spring Pond. > > A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. >A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been >issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is >in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural >Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts > of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan >Compiled Laws, annotated. > > The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams >partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and >flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature > are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department >therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this >location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by >removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. > All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, >2003. > > Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed > so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. > Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized >activity on the site may result in this case being referred for >elevated enforcement action. > > We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this > matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have > any questions. > > Sincerely, > > David L. Price, District Representative > Land and Water Management Division > > > ** Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: ** > > > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County. > > Dear Mr. Price: > > Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to >respond to. > > I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, >Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) > process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across > the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, >authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be >highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building >materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to >attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you >choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever >match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, >their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work >ethic. > > As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they >must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of >dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to >discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require >all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? >If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, >through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies >of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been >issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of > Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and >Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, >being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, > annotated. > > I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers > entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are >financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation > -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The >Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed > during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this >is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. > In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather > than harassing them and calling their dam names. > > If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition >please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, >they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they >being unable to read English. > > In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to > build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the >grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam >rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department >of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its >name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the >environment (Beavers' Dams). > > So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case >can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. > Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under >the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam >staff to contact/harass them then. > > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real >environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! >Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you > should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers >alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your >step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) > > Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to >contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response >to your dam office. > > THANK YOU. > RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS >
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