I was kinda late with Christmas greetings and with the New Year's best
wishes... Let me be early with with a bit of fun... :) Apologies to
the "source" (who's on chat and will, perforce, see this again); I
think it's suitable (if by a narrow margin ) for "wide distribution"
and, although we've had something similiar before, I don't remember
seeing exactly the same thing, so here goes...
From: L.C.
Who Is The Father
The following are all replies that women have put on Child Support
Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are
genuine
excerpts from the forms (names removed) :
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the
father of child B,
but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide
you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this
helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived
at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a
man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted.
If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone
number?
Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
he's had
it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications
for
the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by
the
country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him
can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember
for sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the
evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the
party at [address given], mine might have remained unfertilised.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all
when you eat a tin of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart
-
Tamara P Duvall
Lexington, Virginia, USA
Formerly of Warsaw, Poland
http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd/
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