[lace-chat] :-D New virus
There is a new virus. I think I am infected. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your system. Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends. Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life. If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry. I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the bar anyway.it never hurts to be safe. Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Tax Feedom Day
Today is Tax Freedom Day in the UK. Today is the first day, for the average UK taxpayer, when you can keep the money you earn - every penny you've earned up to yesterday has been paid to the government as tax. Tax Freedom Day this year is three days later than it was last year. Tax Freedom Day this year is six days later than when the Labour Government came to power. Tax Freedom Day this year is six weeks later than this year in the USA. BFN, Margery. [EMAIL PROTECTED] in North Herts, UK To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] :) Heavenly reward
Got the following from a Polish source; if it sounds a bit awkward, it's due to my translation. If there's a moral to the story, it's not likely to be amusing to the majority of readers (women), I'm afraid :) From: J.B. God says: Which car you'll drive in Heaven depends on whether you've been faithful to your spouse One day, three men show up at God's Heavenly Court. The first one says: Dear God, please, be merciful! I know I've ben unfaithful to my wife, but there were so many beautiful women on earth, I wanted them all! God replies: You should be ashamed of yourself! For punishment, you'll drive a 20yrs old Skoda (Skoda is a Czech car, reputedly made mostly of cardboard) The second man comes up for the judgement and says: Dear God, I was unfaithful only once, and I am very, very sorry for it. Please, don't be too severe. God replies: You are right to be sorry; you too should be ashamed of yourself. But, since you do repent, I'll grant you a 5yr old BMW Dear God, you'll be so proud of me, says the third man. I have never been unfaithful to my wife, I loved her above anything, bought her roses daily... I cleaned the house, did all the shopping and cooking... We travelled the world together... That's quite enough says God I am, indeed, proud of you. As a reward, you can claim any car you want Two weeks pass... The first two men see the third one stop in the middle of a crossing in his brand new, shiny Rolls Royce. He's sitting in the car, blinded by tears. Man, what are you crying about??? they ask. Here you are, in the car of your dreams... What's your problem? Yes, but says the third man brokenly I just saw my wife... She was on roller skates! --- Tamara P Duvall http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland) Healthy US through The No-CARB Diet: no C-heney, no A-shcroft, no R-umsfeld, no B-ush. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Egg Shells ( the true story ? )
Hi to everyone who helped me with this verse. My Daughter sent me this today so I thought I would share with you all. Shirl.in Corio Oz. EGG-SHELLS By Elizabeth Fleming Oh, never leave your egg-shells unbroken in the cup; Think of us poor sailor- men and always smash them up, For witches come and find them and sail away to sea, And make a lot of misery for mariners like me. They take them to the sea-shore and set them on the tide- A broom-stick for a paddle is all they have to guide- And off they go to China or round the ports of Spain, To try and keep our sailing ships from coming home again. They call up all the tempests from Davy Jones's store, And blow us into waters where we haven't been before; And when the masts are falling in splinters on the wrecks, The witches climb the rigging ropes and dance upon the decks. So never leave your egg-shells unbroken in the cup; Think of us poor sailor-men and always smash them up; For witches come and find them and sail away to sea. And make a lot of misery for mariners like me. [demime 1.01d removed an attachment of type Image/jpeg which had a name of BackGrnd2.jpg] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] advice to brides
3. Rub knives from side to side on a knife-board sprinkled with bathbrick. Then rub back of knife and clean shoulders of knife with a cork dipped in bathbrick. All you have to do is find a bathbrick...:-) What is it??? Helene, the froggy from Melbourne. Just seen Tais-toi at the cinema and thought it was hilarious! Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Re: evacuation
I was once giving a final exam in the 1970s at the University of Michigan in Spanish, when the building was evacuated because of a bomb scare, and I think I recall another one a couple of years ago at the community college here, where I was taking a class at the time. No one anywhere is safe from these. It is more than just the odd shell found on building sites in Britain. Unexploded bombs in a highly dangerous condition are not unknown and I'm sure the same can be said of Continental countries. I can remember reading, some time ago, the amount of explosive found by chance and while I can't remember the exact figure it was something like one incident per week but most are not mentioned by the media. And as for the quiet life in Lexington, Tamara, don't complain :-) Like most British citizens I have, in the past, been evacuated from the university, theatre, bus stations etc because of bomb threats. While bomb scares tended to be empty threats (the real ones came with no warning) all had to be treated as potentially dangerous. Patricia in Wales [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- -- Martha Krieg [EMAIL PROTECTED] in Michigan To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] congratulations(lace-digest)
I've just received a letter from the Lace Guild telling me that one of my entries for Myth or Mystery - a miniature sampler roseground book based on the nursery rhyme Ring a Ring o' Roses - has won a Medal of Excellence and the Ann Collier trophy for miniature lace. Well done, Sue!! It must be thrilling news. Will we see the pattern on Lace, some day? Looking forwards to seeing the entries, anyway. Helene, the froggy from Melbourne Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Australian story
M, not sure about its veracity, but I thought it was a good story. And it definitely *could* happen in Australia... The Hitchhiker : This story happened about a month ago, in a little town in Victoria (Australia), and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real. This guy was on the side of the road near Terang hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was black and no cars went by. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It stopped. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car, closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared he starts to pray begging for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel. The guy, paralysed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they get to a curve. The guy, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a pub and asks for two shots of whisky,and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy is crying and isn't drunk. About half an hour later, two blokes walked in the same pub and one said to the other Look Bill, there's the bastard that got in the car when we were pushing it!!! Find local movie times and trailers on Yahoo! Movies. http://au.movies.yahoo.com To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
