Re: [lace-chat] Australian friends - TV question
Iâve been watching both Murdoch Mysteries and Miss Fisherâs Murder Mysteries here in the UK. They are shown on Alibi and Drama channels on Sky. Waiting for Series 3 of Miss Fisher, the Murdoch Mysteries are being shown daily and we are up to Series 5 at the moment. Penny in a sunny but chilly Gloucestershire - Autumn is well on its way From: Malvary Cole Sent: âThursdayâ, â24â âSeptemberâ â2015 â15â:â21 To: 'Chat Arachne' I have found that season 1 (at least) is available on YouTube. I have e-mailed my local PBS station (in upper NY state but covers a whole chunk of eastern Ontario in its programming and audience catchment area) to ask if they have aired it, or are likely to. Malvary in Ottawa where we have yet another beautiful day. To unsubscribe send email to majord...@arachne.com containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat y...@address.here. For help, write to arachne.modera...@gmail.com. Photo site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lacemaker/sets/ To unsubscribe send email to majord...@arachne.com containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat y...@address.here. For help, write to arachne.modera...@gmail.com. Photo site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lacemaker/sets/
[lace-chat] Horseshoe Pattern
Thank you to all who replied to my request for a Horseshoe Pattern, and especially to Ruth Budge for sending me a pricking. Having moved recently and all my belongings are scattered in three different storage areas, I have been unable to access my lace books and much of my lace equipment as I don't know exactly where it is hence my request. Once again, thank you one and all for replying. Regards Penny Cheltenham UK To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fw: Does anyone have a horseshoe pattern?
Help please, does anyone have a pattern for a simple lace horseshoe for a wedding. I have been asked to make one for a friend's daughter, along with a garter and I only have 6 weeks to finish both. However I don't have a horseshoe pattern. Can anyone help me. I will willingly pay postage or any other costs involved if someone has a pattern they can let me have. Many thanks Penny Ostler Williams Cheltenham, UK To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Go to Hell!
The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A". To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] :) Fwd: a good definition?
Tamara wrote: >> > 1.) go to google > 2.) type in "failure" without the quotes > 3.) press the I'm feeling lucky button (instead of the google search > one) > 4). Laugh > > Hurry, before the good folks at google "fix" this > I tried this but couldn't find the I'm Feeling Lucky button and when I did Search on Failure the first entry was "Biography of President George W Bush"! Penny Ostler Williams Cheltenham, UK To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fw: Up your street!]
One of the Joys of being English is that the rest of the world wants to communicate with you in your own language and that can sometimes result in some amusing mistakes on public notices and signs. 1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. 2) Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR 3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? 4) Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID 5) At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. 6) Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. 7) Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. 8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. 9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan: TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT. 10) On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. 11) In a restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO! 12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. 13) In a maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. 14) In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. 15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. 16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. 17) In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. 18) In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN. 0 19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM. 20) Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE. 21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. 22) Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. 23) Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. 24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. 25) Ski hotel, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRI DORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. 26) Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER. 27) Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. 28) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. 29) A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. 30) Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES. 31) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. 32) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule): IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT Penny To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fw: Why Engineers don't write Recipe Books
I forwarded this to an engineer friend and this was his response! > >> Chocolate Chip Cookies: > >> > >> Ingredients: > >> > >> 1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten > >> 2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 > >> 3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite > >> 4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride > >> 5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 > >> 6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 > >> 7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde > >> 8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein > >> 9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao > >> 10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) > >> > > Typical yanks engineer that don't doesn't understand the metric system - > surely the measurements should be in grams to ensure that they remain > independent of material density variations that can occur due to in > transit agitation of ingredients .. > > Given the reactor vessel heat transfer coefficient the applicable heat > flux, area and spatial orientation should be specified to ensure > repeatable results... > > Lack of any QA requirements for ingredient acquisition, storage and > pre-production quality checks, combined with a lack of proper > tolerancing of all pertinent variables etc. is sure to lead to > disappointment although this is partially mitigated by the total lack of > any risk management or security protocols which may result in canine > ingestion of the product prior to achievement of thermal equilibrium > during the cooling phase thus concealing the poor product quality. > > One doesn't wish to appear nitpicking but shouldn't oven humidity and > the ratios of radiant and convection heat transfer also be specified > assuming typical values for mean oven surface emissivity values expected > between planned triennial outages for oven cleaning and maintenance. > > The trouble is you just can't get decent engineers anymore, just > glorified food technicians with a worthless degree. > >Penny Ostler Williams > > To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fw: Song by Julie Andrews
> To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie > Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall > for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed > was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." > However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the > entertainment of her "blue hair" audience. Here are the lyrics she > recited: > > Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, > Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, > Bundles of magazines tied up in string, > These are a few of my favourite things. > > Cadillac's and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses, > Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, > Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, > These are a few of my favourite things. > > When the pipes leak, > When the bones creak, > When the knees go bad, > I simply remember my favourite things, > And then I don't feel so bad. > > Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions, > No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, > Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring, > These are a few of my favourite things. > > Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin', > Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin', > And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, > When we remember our favourite things. > > When the joints ache, > When the hips break, > When the eyes grow dim, > Then I remember the great life I've had, > And then I don't feel so bad. > > Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over > four minutes and repeated encores. > -- Penny Ostler Williams > > To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Visit to Toronto
Sorry to cross-post but I am spending Christmas in Toronto and was wondering if anyone knows if there are any lace-related or "must see" exhibits etc there. Many thanks Penny Ostler Williams To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] SP thanks
Dear Secret Pal Apologies for the delay in thanking you for your latest package. The tatting gives me something to aspire to and as for the CD what can I say. I love Tchaikovsky and I do not have any of the pieces that are on it so it is really appreciated. I am taking it to our lace class today (we are attending a 3-day Withof class with Yvonne Scheele-Kerkhof) so we can all listen to it. I am looking forward to finding out who you are. Until then many thanks Penny Ostler Williams To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Secret Pal Thanks
Dear Secret Pal Thank you so much for another wonderful parcel which arrived this morning much to the annoyance of the cat who will insist on sleeping behind the front door and was rudely awakened by the delivery of the mail which landed on him. The contents are just marvellous - the silk is lovely and I shall save it for a special occasion. I have not seen the metallic threads before and the packages are almost too nice to open. I have not seen the Needle Pullers before but they will certainly be put to good use in the not too distant future. The pins will also be used and the card stock survived so that will go into my store too. Until next time Penny Ostler Williams To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Withof Workshop
Are there any UK lacemakers who are interested in attending a three day Withof Workshop with Yvonne Scheele-Keerkhof in Cheltenham in March. The dates are Tuesday 23 - Thursday 25 March and it is being held in Cheltenham. If anyone is interested please email me privately for more details. Penny Ostler Williams [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Secret Pal Thanks
Dear Secret Pal Many thanks for your package which arrived yesterday. The chocolates were delicious, the bobbins will be wound for a project I am starting at the weekend and the threads are lovely - I love making lace in colour. Penny Ostler Williams To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[lace-chat] Fw: Disorder in the Court....
> > Disorder in the Court > These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things > people > actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by > court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these > exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - > don't miss the last one. >__ > > Q: Are you sexually active? > A: No, I just lie there. >__ > > Q: What is your date of birth? > A: July 15th. > Q: What year? > A: Every year. >__ > > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > __ > > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > A: Yes. > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > A: I forget. > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've > forgotten? >_ > > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. > Q: How long has he lived with you? > A: Forty-five years. >_ > > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up > that morning? > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" > Q: And why did that upset you? > A: My name is Susan. >_ > > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the > occult? > A: We both do. > Q: Voodoo? > A: We do. > Q: You do? > A: Yes, voodoo. > > __ > > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he > doesn't know about it until the next morning? >__ > > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? >__ > > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? >__ > > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > A: Yes. > Q: And what were you doing at that time? >__ > > Q: She had three children, right? > A: Yes. > Q: How many were boys? > A: None. > Q: Were there any girls? >__ > > Q: How was your first marriage terminated? > A: By death. > Q: And by whose death was it terminated? >__ > > Q: Can you describe the individual? > A: He was about medium height and had a beard. > Q: Was this a male, or a female? >__ > > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice > which I sent to your attorney? > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. >__ > > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. >__ > > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? > A: Oral. >__ > > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. > __ > > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? > A: No. > Q: Did you check for blood pressure? > A: No. > Q: Did you check for breathing? > A: No. > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the > autopsy? > A: No. > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law > somewhere > -- Penny Ostler Williams To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Re: [lace-chat] Summer reading
Joy Thanks for reminding me too about Gene Stratton Porter. I shall dust her books off my shelves and put a couple in my bag for my holiday next week. My favourite is The Girl of the Limberlost. I am also an Anne McCaffrey fan and re-read her books frequently, along with those of Terry Pratchett and Terry Brooks amongst others and my reading is not confined to the summer. I have NOT read any Harry Potter books. Penny Ostler Williams Getting my bags packed for 10 days of residential lace-making courses at Knuston Hall next week. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED]