As my source'd said -- worth another chuckle (though the second one is
new to me and got a full laugh <g>)
From: M.C.
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000
and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at
a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind
me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the
same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".
"I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same
question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I
was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my
hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be
able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets
her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
***************************
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales
representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers
and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools;
your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is
unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought.
However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and
we're afraid that your constant winking will scare
off potential customers. I'm sorry...we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out
all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms,
flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin.
He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this
is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing
all over the
country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"
"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking,
and asked for aspirin?"
--
Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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