This is another old joke but I enjoyed it again.  Jeanette Fischer,Western
Cape,South Africa.

 A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took
her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund
starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that
he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his
direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund
thinks, "Okay, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on
the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones
with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to
leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious
leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of
terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the
leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him
heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something
must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at
being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see
what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back,
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and just when they get
close enough to hear the dachshund says......................

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!"

REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH
BULLSHIT.

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