One of the Joys of being English is that the rest of the world
wants to communicate with you in your own language and that can
sometimes result in some amusing mistakes on public notices and
signs.
1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR
INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY
ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
2) Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
4) Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE
CHAMBERMAID
5) At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY
SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
6) Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
7) Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER
SERVED HERE.
8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR
IN YOUR
ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
10) On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
11) In a restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO!
12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
13) In a maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
14) In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM
ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES.
15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED.
16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
17) In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
18) In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF
DRESSED AS
A MAN. 0
19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
20) Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN
FACT,
CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY
ITS SOLITUDE.
21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME
WE
REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
22) Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
23) Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED
DAILY EXCEPT
THURSDAY.
25) Ski hotel, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRI DORS IN THE HOURS OF
REPOSE IN THE
BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
26) Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL
PORTER.
27) Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF
THE
OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE
LOBBY BE
USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
28) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
29) A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
AFTERNOON HAVING A
GOOD TIME.
30) Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE
GUARANTEE NO
MISCARRIAGES.
31) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
32) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule):
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU
ARE WELCOME TO IT
Penny
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