Mel,
You may not need to - please read the following:
Euro-English:
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than GERMAN, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, s will be used instead of the soft c. Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard c will be
replaced with k. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome ph will be replaced by f. This will make words like
fotograf 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent es in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th
by z and w by v.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be dropd from vords kontaining
ou, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru
Just Kidding,
John Hemmer
Syracuse
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