Hello list,
On 19-Dec-1999 Dennis wrote:
> On Sun, 19 Dec 1999 22:01:20 +0100, you wrote:
>>I sound like a newbie, am a newbie and want to remain a newbie...
>
> Then I hate to say it, but it sounds like Windoze is the OS for you.
>
>>life's too short... Can anyone help me with the necessary change
>>and also ask the powers that be to be a little more informative in
>>the future?
>
> All it takes is a little bit of reading. Unfortunately Linux is not
> an OS for someone who doesnt want to learn anything about the OS on
> their computer. It is unlikely that it will ever be such an OS.
> Windows is the OS for folks who wish to learn nothing and want it all
> done for them. Not a flame...just the facts of life.
> And it is unlikely that even the Mandrake flavor of linux will ever
> be Windoze like in that respect.
Sorry but I have to disagree. Not a 'fact of life' at all. Nor a
flame from me ;-) Why *can't* Linux become 'easier'? It already has.
Isn't this what Mandrake is growing into? An 'easy to use' Linux?
Dennis you make some sensible points of course. Particularly
concerning Linux in its current incarnation. Basically I agree.
But it's too easy to chant RTFM at every new user as if it
were a magical invocation. Please don't take this as a personal
attack. But I feel like Bob Dylan(!), I have to tell you the
times they-are-a-changing. My God Dennis, people expect to
turn their computers on, as we approach the 21st century, and
*use them*. What a thought! How dare they, etc, etc.
That's fine you say, but this is Linux. Scary, hairy Linux.
Well, Linux is changing... (the answer my friend is blowing
in the wind.. ;-)
I'm sorry, but if Mandrake doesn't keep up in the ease
of use stakes then it may well get left behind. (See what
you've done? I'm making threats now ;-)
Linux *will* become 'easy'. It's plain daft to say otherwise.
How come you're using Mandrake rather than Slackware anyway? ;-)
Sir, I accuse you of taking the easy way out and using the
completely ridiculous and 'bloated' command: 'startx'
(without the quotes please ;-)
I personally think the idea of Linux subverting Windows users
is quite delicious (but I used to use Amiga's so I'm warped anyway).
You may find it horrific, but I think it's funny to imagine a future
where (thanks to a KDE theme say) folk actually think they are
running 'Windows'. When in fact Linux is really the OS that is
driving that familiar desktop. Windows doesn't send the blood
surging to my groin to be honest. But a stable 'Windows' (a la KDE,
etc) is fine in my book.
Some folk really do have *things to do* with their computers.
Smart people too. Like, um, doctors and physicists. Would you
rather they were using Windows? Does it matter? I think so.
I like the choice Linux offers. I know you were trying to help,
but why frighten folk away with threats of sometimes well-written
but often dated and techie 'guides'. Waving a 1000 page tome
at someone won't endear them to Linux. Which is a shame.
Particularly as Linux is heading for the desktop one way
or another anyway.
All this ease of use is bad news for die-hard Linux users
I guess. Ah well, there's always four dimensional chess
to while away those long winter evenings.
In a recent interview Linus said that he can see why
Windows has dominated the desktop. That he wants Linux to
do the same. I'll drink to that. Shock horror, but we can
actually learn a few things from Windows. It's not *all* bad
(my God I said it!).
I'm sorry, but given the momentum Linux has, it will happen
regardless of the tantrums of 'true' Linux users who drift
off to sleep every night by reciting the man pages for the
Bash shell to themselves.
But fear not true hackers! There is hope at hand. I hope the
list don't see this as spam, but it does relate to Linux ease
of use, so you will hopefully forgive me from quoting from our
forthcoming catalogue.
In fact I'd like the list to know that I'm working on my own
brand new Linux distribution, not based on Red Hat, which will
cater to all those lost souls who will have nothing to do once
Linux has become 'easy'.
I'm going to call it 'Tapux'. Why Tapux? Well, my distribution
is going to be the first of a new breed of truly radical Linux
distributions.
In the Tapux box, which contains *only* free software, and a
lock of Richard Stallman's hair preserved inside a clear plastic
Gnu, will be the usual CD. Plus two magical extras. A 'keyboard'
with one large space bar and no other characters. And a voucher.
Which entitles you to the finest in medical care. This is necessary
in order to operate Tapux as I'll explain.
I admit the treatment *sounds* radical, but true hackers will
understand the sacrifice. Basically the voucher will enable a
qualified surgeon - but not a Tapux user himself - to humanely
amputate *both* of your arms in a perfectly painless operation.
Of course you can then license your redundant arms (GPL of course)
to any of the fast food retailers taking part in our unique
reseller program.
But why wave goodbye to your arms? Well, Tapux only accepts input
of a certain kind. You see, you have to tap in the commands in a
Morse code based syntax. WITH YOUR NOSE. That's what the oversized
space bar is for. Arms of course just get in the way of the critical
'tapping'. Tell me, do woodpecker's have arms? Of course not.
Trust me, in trials we have found that people can get up a
fair head of steam, if you'll excuse the pun, without the
hindrance of arms. You'll immediately get all that desk space
back that those arms would otherwise have taken up. I can tell
you it's quite a sight to see all those heads vibrating away at
those 'keyboards' as they operate Tapux!
Thanks to our radical NosePrint(TM) technology all security
problems are solved in one fell swoop (of the head!).
The installation 'Noseferatu' is wonderfully inconsistent
too. We've ensured it will give you nightmares, or rather
delicious technical challenges.
In the 'pro' version' of Tapux there will be no drivers for
graphics cards supplied. This solves a *lot* of problems that
otherwise plague standard Linux distributions. Flaky X installations,
obscene amounts of memory used just to run a desktop clock, etc.
In fact you don't even need to bother with a monitor at all,
as the release version will dispense with the console too.
People simply get too comfortable and lazy with the bash commands.
So either way, you are saving money straight away.
Early experiments with beta testers of the pro version indicate
that it is best operated in *complete* darkness. With the
brightness on the monitor turned *way* down. Advanced users will
soon learn to turn the monitor off altogether.
Lets face it using the command line really is far too easy.
The real clincher for the standard 'monitor' edition though,
will certainly be a feature unique to Tapux.
Each time a user 'taps' in characters, they are automatically
'scrambled' by the OS. Even though they appear on the screen
OK. So as you nod away and tap in a command (remember to look
up! Now you see the advantage of the Pro version) The command
will be accepted.
But the *next time* you tap in the command it will be rejected!
The underlying OS will no longer recognise it. This is great.
It means that from one day to the next you've no idea what the
commands are, what they mean, or even if they will work!
A true intellectual challenge for those who aren't quite ready
to dispense with their monitors just yet.
In fact with Tapux even when a user smart enough to crack
the system actually becomes productive, the system will use
its advanced heuristics and neural net methodologies to
'wipe' it's own learning.
When Tapux enters this mode the user will realise with mounting
euphoria that his system will shortly reset itself, and he
can learn a whole bunch of new commands *all over again*.
The logo for Tapux by the way will be Tux, but *without*
the flippers. I'm sure children will respond to a love-able
Penguin with no 'arms'. The 'professional' edition will see Tux
sporting one of those nice canvas jackets that fasten around
the back. This will appeal to more serious users and the
corporate market.
T-shirts will be available as a free promotion from our
site: http://www.tapux.com
These feature our specially adapted Tux and a choice of slogans:
"Tapux: Keeps your nose to the grindstone"
"Tapux: Command line's are for Wimps"
"Tapux: Why make it easy?"
"Tapux: Embrace your future"
"Tapux: It just runs and runs"
"Tapux: I did inhale!"
'Real' hackers will love it. I even hope to attract users that
would otherwise use Windows, or even a Mac. They may finally
see the light. In this way I'll be doing my bit for the Linux
community.
Finally, please ignore the review of a beta Tapux that was featured
on Slashdot, the review was called "Tapux. Best kept at arms length".
That was an early release. Tapux is now much improved, and has never
been harder to use.
Keep an eye out for Tapux. I just know it's going to be a big-seller.
Regards,
Martin Curran
--
Melinda: You Ok honey..? It's the dream again isn't it?
Bill: Uh, yeah.. It's the penguin. Damn that penguin!
