Dear Authors/Chairs/ADs,
Please see below for feedback from the experts.
Best regards,
David Dong
IANA Services Sr. Specialist
On Wed May 08 09:42:59 2024, pait...@ciena.com wrote:
>
> * 1.1
>
> Add "the":
>
> Section 3 addresses these issues. Also, the ipv6ExtensionHeaders
> IPFIX
> IE is deprecated in favor of the new IEs defined in this document.
>
>
> * 1.2
>
> Add "the" :
>
> The specification of the tcpOptions IPFIX IE (209) does not:
>
> Should "option" be "options"? :
>
> * Describe how some observed TCP options in a Flow can be exported
>using IPFIX. Only TCP options having a Kind <= 63 can be exported
>in a tcpOptions IE.
>
> Add "the" :
>
> Section 4 addresses these issues. Also, the tcpOptions IE is
> deprecated
> in favor of the new IEs defined in this document.
>
>
> * 2
>
> Is the indentation correct here? :
>
> Extension header chain: Refers to the chain of extension headers
>that are present in an IPv6 packet.
>
> This term should not be confused with the IPv6 header chain, which
> includes the IPv6 header, zero or more IPv6 extension headers, and
> zero or a single Upper-Layer Header.
>
>
> * 3.2
>
> "the same" :
>
> Description: The number of consecutive occurrences of the same
>extension header type in a Flow.
>
>
> * 3.4
>
> Add "ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList" :
>
> If several extension header chains are observed in a Flow, each
> header chain MUST be exported in a separate
> ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList IE.
>
>
> * 3.5
>
> What if both ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull and
> ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList are exported?
> [Later] this is discussed in section 5.1, but that wouldn't be known
> from reading the IPFIX registry alone. The fact that these IEs are
> mutually exclusive should be added to both IE descriptions.
>
>
> Description: When set to "false", this Information Element indicates
>that the exported extension headers information (e.g.,
>ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull or ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList) does
>not match the full enclosed extension headers
>
>
> * 3.6
>
> Change "identifying" to "to identify" :
>
> Exporting such information might help
> to identify root causes of performance degradation, including
> packet drops.
>
> How would we know which ipv6ExtensionHeadersChainLength IE corresponds
> with which header chain?
>
> If several extension header chains are observed in a Flow, each
> header chain length MUST be exported in a separate
> ipv6ExtensionHeadersChainLength IE.
>
>
> * 5.1
>
> "Will" sounds like a detail of a particular implementation. More
> generally this should be a "MUST", a "SHOULD", or a "MAY":
>
> If an implementation determines that an observed packet of a Flow
> includes an extension header that it does not support, then the exact
> observed code of that extension header will be echoed in the
> ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList IE (Section 3.4).
>
>
> * 5.2
>
> What does this mean? :
>
> If a TCP Flow contains packets with a mix of 2-byte and 4-byte
> Experiment IDs, the same Template Record is used with both
> tcpSharedOptionExID16 and tcpSharedOptionExID32 IEs.
>
>
>
> * 6.1
>
> It would be helpful to list the corresponding header bit values, and
> to list them in order (0, 1, 5) rather than 1, 5, 0:
>
>
> Figure 1 provides an example of reported values in an
> ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE for an IPv6 Flow in which only the IPv6
> Destination Options header (0) is observed.
>
>
> Figure 2 provides another example of reported values in an
> ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE for an IPv6 Flow in which the IPv6 Hop-
> by-Hop Options (1), Routing (5), and Destination Options (0) headers
> are
> observed.
>
>
> * 6.2
>
> It would be helpful to list the corresponding header bit values:
>
> Figure 3 shows an example of reported values in a tcpOptionsFull IE
> for a TCP Flow in which End of Option List (0), Maximum Segment Size
> (2), and
> Window Scale (3) options are observed.
>
> Please use the full 16-bit value, "0348" :
>
> 1. The tcpSharedOptionExID16 IE set to 0x0348454E to report observed
> 2-byte ExIDs: HOST_ID and TCP-ENO ExIDs.
>
>
> * 8.1
>
> It's unclear which IE "this IE" is. eg, write "IE 209" if that's
> what's meant.
>
>
> * Update the tcpOptions IE (209) entry by marking it as deprecated
>in favor of the tcpOptionsFull IE defined in this document. This
>note should also be echoed in the "Additional Information" of this
>IE.
>
>
> * 8.4
>
> This section sets up a potential conflict: what would happen if a new
> code was assigned to an IPv6 EH in [IANA-EH], but the expert reviewers
> disagreed with adding it to IPFIX?
>
> Section 1.1 said, "how to automatically update the IANA IPFIX
> registry". Is expert review contrary to an automatic update?
>
>
>
> * 8.4.1.
>
> Typo in Initial Values:
>
> +-+---+--+-+---+
> | 1 | HOP | 0| Pv6 Hop-by-Hop Options | This-D
