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All of this reminded me of my 5yr old daughter when I had a false
labour at 31 weeks and the dr came in and did an internal "to see what was
happening"
My daughter was trying very hard to look up betwen my legs while the
Dr did this and then complained to me, "That wasn't fair Mummy, how come
she got to see the baby and I couldn't." I had to try to
explain that she couldn't see it yet either - but it did amuse
me.
I was sure she would have been wonderful at the birth but I was
worried about what the dr's might (and did) do so i was glad she was
home.
She said to me after george was born - "well, you can't have another
baby now Mum,(quite sadly)- you will get three scars on your tummy
and that is too much." ( She came up with this herself ).
I had to try to explain that if I did have another baby that things
would be VERY different next time and that babies are not meant to come
out that way. It was easy to explain her birth and I used to say
that my scar from her was my 'smiley' and that it was what saved our
lives. Georges scar is and always has been - just a scar and sadly
it ruined my 'smiley'.
I never felt that it saved him or me - I never once felt that I would
die having him - I was probably in more pain ( a good pain) but I did not
feel like I would die from it. With katelyn by the time they
did the c/s I had to concentrate on continueing to breath because it
seemed that I could just stop at any moment so easily, that
hypothetical corner was so tempting to curl up in (I had one
contraction a few days before her birth and that was all). I was
sick with PE and they had to do it to save my life. Easily
explained to a child.
I was in labour with George and it just seemed so wrong because they
could only quote risks and if this happens etc and not any real
reason. I think that is what is so hard to expain - I don't
understand it myself so how do I explain it to a child?
Regards
Rhonda
Rhonda
-------Original Message-------
Date: Tuesday, November
26, 2002 22:50:07
Subject: Fw:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
----- Original Message -----
From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To:
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent:
Tuesday, November 26, 2002 5:43 AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Re:
[Children Present at Births)
> Plans around birth incl
children need to remain open to change ie leaving
> kids asleep
following the childs needs at that moment but the magic of,
>
"christmas" is often captured when chilren are present .
> This year
a 10 year girl defused a tense situation with grumpy obs in a
>
pulic hosp ,as her mum pushed, an undigested pumpkin seed appeared
from
her
> bottom which the child annouced with great gusto to
one and all .
>
> Two boys at their sisters birth at home
asked their mum as the head
crowned
> aout 7am would she be
finished by breakfast .
>
> AN EXCITED 2 YR OLD WOKE AT USUAL
TIME O6OO TO GREET HIS SISTER SWIMMING
> PAST HIS MUM TO SEE HIM
.
>
> Billie changed her clothes 3 times then decided at 3yrs
of age to go play
> next door as," it "was taking too long.another 3
yr old had her clothes
off
> and was at last allowed in the pool
with her parents and new sister .
>
> Another 10 year old girl
hopped into her bed with the door shut upset by
> thenoised of a
precipitate labour her support person jioned her and they
> emerged
when"it" was over and made a cake.
>
> Flurescent ear plugs,
little hands helping the midwife, thomas the tank
> torches
searching for a sign of baby ,batman, knights with swords and
>
fairies all dressed to greet the new babe
> I could go on and on
wide eyed interested kids doing what they liked with
> their own
person there for them.
> Chidren at birth go with the moment and
have good child centred back up
> plans jan
>
> -----
Original Message -----
> From: Jo & Dean Bainbridge <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>
Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002 1:32 PM
> Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery]
Re: [Children Present at Births)
>
>
> > Likened it
to having to concentrate when driving the car and looking for
a
>
> carpark, can't talk much then either
> >
> > Oh
Megan! Does that mean you are one of 'those' car park seekers
who
take
> > the challenge to find the perfect park very
seriously!!!
> > Jo Bainbridge
> > founding member CARES
SA
> > email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> phone: 08 8388 6918
> > birth with trust, faith &
love...
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From:
"Larry & Megan" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>
> Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002 1:37 PM
> > Subject: RE:
[ozmidwifery] Re: [Children Present at Births)
> >
>
>
> > > We planned on having out two sons present at the
birth at home of
number
> > > three, boys were 3 1/2years
and just under two. I showed them the
video
> of
> >
> number two being born, water birh at home, we watched it lots and
also
> > some
> > > other videos our midwife lent us.
I told them about the noise I might
> make
> > > and
about how not to talk when I was concentrating on the baby coming
>
out.
> > > Likened it to having to concentrate when driving
the car and looking
for
> a
> > > carpark, can't talk
much then either. I told them it might hurt me,
but
> it
>
> > was a special hurt just for helping babies to come out. I told
them it
> had
> > > to come out between my legs, a
special whole that only mummies have,
> boys
> > > don't
have one. Daddy would be rubbing my back and helping me and the
>
> baby.
> > > Importantly you need to arrange a person/s
for the children, someone
> they
> > > trust and they
need to support your philosophies of childbirth, you
> don't
>
> > want their fear coming into your birth. My husband wasn't as
keen as I
> > was,
> > > but he agreed to take it as
it came. I also told them that I might
want
> to
> >
> be on my own and they may have to go for a walk or to grandma's.
I
> > > acknowledged that this could upset them and hence
affect my labour,
but
> > > figured I would allow half an
hour extra in labour for this to be
worked
> > >
through(not scientifically based).Birth can take a while so
children
> will
> > > probably want other things to do.
You have to accept that may not even
> > like
> > >
to be there at the time, nothing is set in concrete.
> > > It
helps if they are involved with the pregnancy,
attending
appointments
> > if
> > > in hospital or
helping the midwife if at home. Kids just love the
tools
>
of
> > a
> > > midwife, fundal measurements might be
a bit out though if they help.
> > > Some good books are
"Having a Baby" by Jenni Overend and also the
writer
> >
of
> > > "Maisie Mouse" series has one about introducing a new
sibling etc,
> (sorry
> > > don't know the
name).
> > > Lots of talking, my youngest wasn't that
interested, but the older boy
> new
> > > all about the
placenta and unbilical cord, he loved the blood and
mess.
> >
> After all my education, baby decided to enter the world in the
middle
of
> > the
> > > night and the boys slept
right through it all. We woke the eldest up a
> > > couple of
hours later to help cut the cord. Little one didn't wake til
> >
usual
> > > time. It was a fast and demanding labour so it was
appropriate that
the
> > boys
> > > weren't there,
I believe I wouldn't have coped as well, things happen
> for
>
> a
> > > reason.
> > > My oldest, now 4 1/4
years thinks I should have another baby so as our
> > >
midwife can visit us again and so as he can be awake to see the
birth
> this
> > > time. I love this, but dad's not to
keen. He offered to pay the
midwife
> > just
> > >
to visit, no baby.
> > >
> > > So I don't think it
matters how old other children are, just prepare
> them
> >
as
> > > best you can for the birth and enjoy the
time.
> > >
> > > Cheers
> > >
Megan.
> > >
> > > --
> > > This
mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics.
> > > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au>
to subscribe or unsubscribe.
> > >
> >
> >
--
> > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics.
>
> Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au>
to subscribe or unsubscribe.
>
>
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