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Hi guys
I just wanted to add that I am not pro or against abortion - just understanding of women's difficulties and changing circumstances that come up and bite you in the bum when you least expect them!
I do know of women who have had abortions for very sound reasons (now I feel like I am having to justify their decisions or lack of them) and I have seen the heart-ache that this has caused for years to come. They have not been decisions that have been taken lightly and often they have affected many people in the wings - family and the professionals caring for them. I have also worked with some amazing midwives who have cared for women during the procedure (and not the early ones) because they have been 'dropped' by their midwives, doctors etc (and often ones they trusted) for the decision that had been made. They felt that were being judged by people (professionals) who should know better and who knew very little of their personal situations. The midwives who cared for these women often had anti-abortion feelings also but kept that part of their personal belief system and not for public knowledge. Others felt that this was not something that they could be involved with (ethical reasons or emotional well-being) and professionally and kindly removed themselves from the situation making sure the woman was cared for by someone who could support her through one of the most difficult times of her life. Usually we knew of those such people and as professionals we supported them with their difficult task. Unit managers also knew which staff they could call on.
As a student, one of my fellow colleagues was very open and somewhat ruthless in expressing her opinions. "I will not care for such women! I'm not that kind of midwife". As midwives, especially when working in the continuity model... you don't know who these women are going to be. They don't exactly have signs on their foreheads. Often the women don't know who they are either. Unfortuanately, abortion was almost a taboo subject in my training (issues with one the lecturer's I suspected) so I took it upon myself to research and present this topic as one of my special topic presentations. I thought it was important for all midwives (and other heath professionals) to know how complex the situation is, situations but more importantly, how to deal with the situation when it arises. As a woman and a mother, I have my own feelings and opinions but have also been very grateful that I have never been in such a situation.... but as a midwife I hope to have a professional approach to the subject as well and wanted to be prepared in advance. I urge you all to give this some consideration so that the women we care for are treated in a respectful and non-judgemental manner. Know what services exist in your area and where these women and families can can help, advice and support. Be clear about your professional and personal boundaries.
I value this list for the opportunity to share feelings and experienes but like some others, I don't feel it is an appropriate place to lay judgement and stir up feelings and emotions that lie deep within any one of us. We all have our own issues, passions and life experiences (both good and bad) and I know that certain topics are very close to home for me also.
Kiwi Kim.
Kim Stead
Midwife : Birth-Wise Midwifery
-------Original Message-------
Date: 14/09/2004 3:30:59 p.m.
Subject: [ozmidwifery] abortion and working with women etc
Abby
I find your writings on abortion very judgemental of others. How can you sit in judgment when you personally have not been through abortion and know what it is like, or know why a woman would make that choice? It seems you have never had to face a situation personally with abortion. Or if you have you need to deal with your feelings about it adequetly rather than sit in judgment of others.
I have had two abortions personally - one an unwanted pregnancy at a very young age with failed contraceptives and the other a very much wanted pregnancy and abortion due to medical reasons (my health not the fetus'). They were hard situations and the grief I have experienced is enormous. I have reflected on my views on abortion many times and although I don't believe I would choose an abortion again for myself I still believe in a womans right to choose an abortion.
Perhaps its time you turned the attention and energy around and focus on yourself and look at what it is inside yourself that you can't accept.
I worry that someone who works with women regulary would hold such harsh views. How can you care and support them adequetly feeling the way you do?
Do you ask each woman before you work with them about their "abortion status" and decline working with them if they have had an abortion?
I didn't want to join this debate as it is such an emotive one and probably does no good, but your comments affected me and there are probably many women on this list who have had abortions so you are sitting in judgement of many and bringing up pain and many feelings for women in a very unloving and unsupportive way.
perhaps its time to take this debate to an abortion list rather than an ozmid one.
Thanks
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, September 13, 2004 9:54 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] re: abortion etc
>>Vegetarianism and abortion, I find that incredibly ridiculous!
I just can't get this comment out of my head. It is so ridiculous...........so ridiculous that some women don't eat meat because they don't want to harm or kill an animal, yet they will willfully, and by choice, harm and kill their unborn baby. I find this incredibly ridiculous.
Abby
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