Re: [FRIDAY] Childern
at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! Shane Mingins wrote: To those of you who have children in your lives, whether they are your own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve ... we have forbidden fruit!" "No Way!" "Yes, way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said. "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT: 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young!! 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN." - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
RE: [FRIDAY] Childern
I sent it to my pastor. :-) >-Original Message- >From: Adam Hardy [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 2:41 AM >To: Struts Users Mailing List >Subject: Re: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! > >Shane Mingins wrote: - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
RE: [FRIDAY] Childern
Groan! That was bad, really bad. >-Original Message- >From: Mark Galbreath [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:10 AM >To: 'Struts Users Mailing List' >Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >So, you pastorized it, did you? > >-Original Message- >From: Chappell, Simon P [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:59 AM >To: Struts Users Mailing List >Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >I sent it to my pastor. :-) > >>-Original Message- >>From: Adam Hardy [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >>Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 2:41 AM >>To: Struts Users Mailing List >>Subject: Re: [FRIDAY] Childern >> >> >>at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! >> >>Shane Mingins wrote: > > >- >To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > >- >To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[FRIDAY] Childern
To those of you who have children in your lives, whether they are your own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve ... we have forbidden fruit!" "No Way!" "Yes, way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said. "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? THINGS TO THINK ABOUT: 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young!! 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home. AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
RE: [FRIDAY] Childern
So, you pastorized it, did you? -Original Message- From: Chappell, Simon P [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:59 AM To: Struts Users Mailing List Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern I sent it to my pastor. :-) >-Original Message- >From: Adam Hardy [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 2:41 AM >To: Struts Users Mailing List >Subject: Re: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! > >Shane Mingins wrote: - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
RE: [FRIDAY] Childern
Hey, Christian Brothers make a pretty mean brandy! -Original Message- From: Adam Hardy [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 3:41 AM To: Struts Users Mailing List Subject: Re: [FRIDAY] Childern at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! Shane Mingins wrote: > To those of you who have children in your lives, whether they are your > own, > > grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to > make > > you chuckle. > > > > Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from > the > > thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own > children. > > > > After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. > > > > And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" > > > > "Don't what?" Adam replied. > > > > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. > > > > "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve ... we have > forbidden > > fruit!" > > > > "No Way!" > > > > "Yes, way!" > > > > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father > and I > > said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after > making > > the elephants. > > > > A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He > was > > ticked! > > > > "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. > > > > "Uh huh," Adam replied. > > > > "Then why did you?" said the Father. > > > > "I don't know," said Eve. > > > > "She started it!" Adam said. > > > > "Did not!" > > > > "Did too!" > > > > "DID NOT!" > > > > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and > Eve > > should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it > has > > never changed. > > > > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! > > > > If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children > wisdom and > > they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. > > > > If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be > a > > piece of cake for you? > > > > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT: > > > > 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk > and > > talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down > > and shut up. > > > > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. > > > > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young!! > > > > 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for > word > > what you shouldn't have said. > > > > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind > yourself that > > there are children more awful than your own. > > > > 6. We child-proofed our homes, but they are still getting in. > > > > ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your > nursing > > home. > > > > AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO > WHAT IT > > SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM > > CHILDREN." > > > > > > > > - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
RE: [FRIDAY] Childern
hehehehehe (Scooby Doo laugh) -Original Message- From: Chappell, Simon P [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 9:25 AM To: Struts Users Mailing List Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern Groan! That was bad, really bad. >-Original Message- >From: Mark Galbreath [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:10 AM >To: 'Struts Users Mailing List' >Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >So, you pastorized it, did you? > >-Original Message- >From: Chappell, Simon P [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 8:59 AM >To: Struts Users Mailing List >Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] Childern > > >I sent it to my pastor. :-) > >>-Original Message- >>From: Adam Hardy [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] >>Sent: Friday, August 08, 2003 2:41 AM >>To: Struts Users Mailing List >>Subject: Re: [FRIDAY] Childern >> >> >>at last a joke I can forward to my reborn-christian brother! >> >>Shane Mingins wrote: > > >- >To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > >- >To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] >For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] - To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
