Re: t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission)
Sorry to ruin your post, but I've been trying to get off this e-mail server forever. I've heard the only way is to string together an unbelievable number of obscenities. So here it goes: fuck you you you lobster sucking shitbag. Eat a pile of my steaming shit. You manually masterbate female otters for artificial insemination. You all suck donkeys for cash and prizes. Blow me. Sorry if this offends anyone, but eat my shit. So long suckers. Peace. . . I'm outta here. No really, truly I'm sorry. Sincerely, K-dogg Go pack. P.S. Stanford rules. On Mar 1, 4:00pm, malmo wrote: Subject: t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission) Games Olympic People Play Rounding up the usual suspects by Charlie Francis On some levels, it somehow seems a shame to reignite the flame of scandal so soon after the Olympic flame has been extinguished. Of course, it's not our nature to bury our heads in the sand, and the only way that the integrity of the Olympics can be regained is to expose its weaknesses, to shine a bright, cleansing light on the crud that grows on its belly. Hence this report on Olympic drug scandal, Olympic politics, and Olympic pettiness written by perhaps the world's greatest track coach, Charlie Francis. Read it and you'll have enough dish to be the hit of any locker room conversation. -- Pulled hamstrings, falls, viruses, upsets, surprise non-qualifiers, pre-game departures amidst claims of death threats, allegations and accusations! What in the wide world of sports was going on in Sydney? The drug story took center stage early in the games with the revelation that CJ Hunter, the current World Champion in the Shot Put and husband of sprint phenom Marion Jones, had previously failed four separate drug tests for the anabolic steroid nandrolone in various European competitions prior to the Olympics. The press had been following up rumors to this effect for weeks prior to the games, but had been met with denials all around. "There are no positive tests being processed," announced the U.S.A.T.F., America's track governing body in response to reporter queries. "Bullshit," said Hunter/Jones agent Charlie Wells in response. The aforementioned stuff hit the fan shortly afterward when the International Amateur Athletics Federation's (IAAF) Chief Doping Officer, Arne Ljungqvist, made CJ's positive tests official. The USATF, who had said no positive tests were being processed, was caught in a blatant lie and scrambled for cover behind Clintonesque legalisms. They pointed to a definition of "positive" [drug tests] that was more narrow than the President's definition of "sex." The IAAF then added fuel to the fire of scandal by announcing that there were 15 more American positives that the USATF had covered up. (Actually, the press has been following up on eight cases for the year 2000, 17 for the year 1999, and more from 98, 97, and 96.) A press conference was hastily arranged by the Hunter/Jones camp to try to limit the damages and allow Marion to go on with her quest for gold in peace. Enter Johnny Cochran of OJ Simpson fame. Cochran had previously represented Jones (successfully) in 1992 during a random drug testing controversy. CJ Hunter then issued a tearful pro-forma denial. He had reason to be tearful, for while the test results were no surprise, their release to the public outside the USATF's control certainly was. He would ordinarily have expected the positive tests to go away as he would have known that USATF doping panels have been routinely dismissing nandrolone and Testosterone positives out of hand, claiming them to be scientifically insupportable. Without the list of names, the IAAF would have been powerless to overturn an USATF decision, even though they routinely did it elsewhere. The press conference achieved one of its two objectives by isolating Marion from the damage, but failed on the other. Hunter was vilified and ridiculed, "How Could He Do This To Her?" cried one American paper. "Beauty and the Beast" cried another. His "iron supplement defense" was laughed at, although not with the side-splitting hilarity that greeted American sprinter Dennis Mitchell's "sex and beer defense." Hunter was condemned in the court of public opinion and branded a cheat without a hearing. In true Johnny Cochran style, the press conference ended with CJ saying: "I don't know what happened, but I'm going to find out." An investigation by Hunter and his associates as to how the USATF veil of secrecy was lifted will reveal something other than a triumph of investigative journalism. After all, the press had been following up on numerous cases, including a positive test for Testosterone on one prominent female competitor
Re: t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission)
Alright! What a great post. Best thing I've read in a few years. If I were still doing the Grote Poll, I would have to move NC State up just for this post. This Keller kid obviously has what it takes. Well done, my friend, well done. Grote adiRP - Original Message - From: David Aaron Keller [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Track-Fans [EMAIL PROTECTED]; malmo [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Monday, October 09, 2000 2:45 AM Subject: Re: t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission) Sorry to ruin your post, but I've been trying to get off this e-mail server forever. I've heard the only way is to string together an unbelievable number of obscenities. So here it goes: fuck you you you lobster sucking shitbag. Eat a pile of my steaming shit. You manually masterbate female otters for artificial insemination. You all suck donkeys for cash and prizes. Blow me. Sorry if this offends anyone, but eat my shit. So long suckers. Peace. . . I'm outta here. No really, truly I'm sorry. Sincerely, K-dogg Go pack. P.S. Stanford rules. On Mar 1, 4:00pm, malmo wrote: Subject: t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission) Games Olympic People Play Rounding up the usual suspects by Charlie Francis On some levels, it somehow seems a shame to reignite the flame of scandal so soon after the Olympic flame has been extinguished. Of course, it's not our nature to bury our heads in the sand, and the only way that the integrity of the Olympics can be regained is to expose its weaknesses, to shine a bright, cleansing light on the crud that grows on its belly. Hence this report on Olympic drug scandal, Olympic politics, and Olympic pettiness written by perhaps the world's greatest track coach, Charlie Francis. Read it and you'll have enough dish to be the hit of any locker room conversation. -- -- -- Pulled hamstrings, falls, viruses, upsets, surprise non-qualifiers, pre-game departures amidst claims of death threats, allegations and accusations! What in the wide world of sports was going on in Sydney? The drug story took center stage early in the games with the revelation that CJ Hunter, the current World Champion in the Shot Put and husband of sprint phenom Marion Jones, had previously failed four separate drug tests for the anabolic steroid nandrolone in various European competitions prior to the Olympics. The press had been following up rumors to this effect for weeks prior to the games, but had been met with denials all around. "There are no positive tests being processed," announced the U.S.A.T.F., America's track governing body in response to reporter queries. "Bullshit," said Hunter/Jones agent Charlie Wells in response. The aforementioned stuff hit the fan shortly afterward when the International Amateur Athletics Federation's (IAAF) Chief Doping Officer, Arne Ljungqvist, made CJ's positive tests official. The USATF, who had said no positive tests were being processed, was caught in a blatant lie and scrambled for cover behind Clintonesque legalisms. They pointed to a definition of "positive" [drug tests] that was more narrow than the President's definition of "sex." The IAAF then added fuel to the fire of scandal by announcing that there were 15 more American positives that the USATF had covered up. (Actually, the press has been following up on eight cases for the year 2000, 17 for the year 1999, and more from 98, 97, and 96.) A press conference was hastily arranged by the Hunter/Jones camp to try to limit the damages and allow Marion to go on with her quest for gold in peace. Enter Johnny Cochran of OJ Simpson fame. Cochran had previously represented Jones (successfully) in 1992 during a random drug testing controversy. CJ Hunter then issued a tearful pro-forma denial. He had reason to be tearful, for while the test results were no surprise, their release to the public outside the USATF's control certainly was. He would ordinarily have expected the positive tests to go away as he would have known that USATF doping panels have been routinely dismissing nandrolone and Testosterone positives out of hand, claiming them to be scientifically insupportable. Without the list of names, the IAAF would have been powerless to overturn an USATF decision, even though they routinely did it elsewhere. The press conference achieved one of its two objectives by isolating Marion from the damage, but failed on the other. Hunter was vilified and ridiculed, "How Could He Do This To Her?" cried one American paper. "Beauty and the Beast" cried another. His "iron supplement defense" was laughed at, although not with the side-splitting hilarity that greeted American sprinter Dennis Mitchell's "sex
t-and-f: More Testicular Fortification (with permission)
Games Olympic People Play Rounding up the usual suspects by Charlie Francis On some levels, it somehow seems a shame to reignite the flame of scandal so soon after the Olympic flame has been extinguished. Of course, it's not our nature to bury our heads in the sand, and the only way that the integrity of the Olympics can be regained is to expose its weaknesses, to shine a bright, cleansing light on the crud that grows on its belly. Hence this report on Olympic drug scandal, Olympic politics, and Olympic pettiness written by perhaps the world's greatest track coach, Charlie Francis. Read it and you'll have enough dish to be the hit of any locker room conversation. -- Pulled hamstrings, falls, viruses, upsets, surprise non-qualifiers, pre-game departures amidst claims of death threats, allegations and accusations! What in the wide world of sports was going on in Sydney? The drug story took center stage early in the games with the revelation that CJ Hunter, the current World Champion in the Shot Put and husband of sprint phenom Marion Jones, had previously failed four separate drug tests for the anabolic steroid nandrolone in various European competitions prior to the Olympics. The press had been following up rumors to this effect for weeks prior to the games, but had been met with denials all around. "There are no positive tests being processed," announced the U.S.A.T.F., America's track governing body in response to reporter queries. "Bullshit," said Hunter/Jones agent Charlie Wells in response. The aforementioned stuff hit the fan shortly afterward when the International Amateur Athletics Federation's (IAAF) Chief Doping Officer, Arne Ljungqvist, made CJ's positive tests official. The USATF, who had said no positive tests were being processed, was caught in a blatant lie and scrambled for cover behind Clintonesque legalisms. They pointed to a definition of "positive" [drug tests] that was more narrow than the President's definition of "sex." The IAAF then added fuel to the fire of scandal by announcing that there were 15 more American positives that the USATF had covered up. (Actually, the press has been following up on eight cases for the year 2000, 17 for the year 1999, and more from 98, 97, and 96.) A press conference was hastily arranged by the Hunter/Jones camp to try to limit the damages and allow Marion to go on with her quest for gold in peace. Enter Johnny Cochran of OJ Simpson fame. Cochran had previously represented Jones (successfully) in 1992 during a random drug testing controversy. CJ Hunter then issued a tearful pro-forma denial. He had reason to be tearful, for while the test results were no surprise, their release to the public outside the USATF's control certainly was. He would ordinarily have expected the positive tests to go away as he would have known that USATF doping panels have been routinely dismissing nandrolone and Testosterone positives out of hand, claiming them to be scientifically insupportable. Without the list of names, the IAAF would have been powerless to overturn an USATF decision, even though they routinely did it elsewhere. The press conference achieved one of its two objectives by isolating Marion from the damage, but failed on the other. Hunter was vilified and ridiculed, "How Could He Do This To Her?" cried one American paper. "Beauty and the Beast" cried another. His "iron supplement defense" was laughed at, although not with the side-splitting hilarity that greeted American sprinter Dennis Mitchell's "sex and beer defense." Hunter was condemned in the court of public opinion and branded a cheat without a hearing. In true Johnny Cochran style, the press conference ended with CJ saying: "I don't know what happened, but I'm going to find out." An investigation by Hunter and his associates as to how the USATF veil of secrecy was lifted will reveal something other than a triumph of investigative journalism. After all, the press had been following up on numerous cases, including a positive test for Testosterone on one prominent female competitor. Why then was Hunter exposed and no one else? The answer, as usual in this sport, lies deeper and is more unpleasant and centers on a clandestine phone campaign launched by a member of a rival thrower's entourage. This same person also had a much earlier relationship with Marion Jones and the failure to profit from her current success may have been further motivation. Additionally, US Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey's earlier attacks on the IAAF's doping control program made the organization anxious to retaliate when an opportunity arose. Perhaps it's not coincidental that Britain, the IAAF's most vocal critic, had its track team decimated by a series of leaked positive drug test results against its top athletes. IAAF minions began leaking confidential lab results on Hunter to the media and when reaction to the news seemed
