That's the Funky Mazbak edit
-Original Message-
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Martin J. Dixon
Sent: Monday, July 12, 2004 5:54 PM
To: Track Field List
Subject: t-and-f: malmo and Marryin' Jonz
I posited on the TFN message board that I thought that the 7500.00 Jones'
cheque to Balco was a red herring and they better have a LOT more than that.
malmo responded with something that is really making the rounds and seems to
be a bit of work in progress because I see something new and funnier in it
every time I read it. This is for those of you that have not gone to any
running related sites for about the last 10 days. I am pretty sure it is the
most up to date version:
The Case Against Marryin' Jonz
You pay for your wife's (Marryin' Jonz) cocaine habit with a check.
Later, she denies any relationship with the local coke dealer, Victor
Vector, and denies knowing about the check.
Soon afterwards, she and her new boyfriend are observed by DEA agents in
Canada, then later in Hawaii, with Chuck Frank, who in 1988 was the kingpin
in one of the most infamous cocaine busts in history, resulting in the
forced retirement of Canadian porn star, Ben's Johnson. At first, both she
and her boyfriend repeatedly deny knowing Chuck Frank; then when finally
cornered, they admit to knowing Frank and traveling to meet him.
She later admits to knowing Victor Vector, but now claims he was only a
Herbalife rep. She then says that her fabulous wealth is the reason why a
$7000 check to the local Herbalife rep would go unnoticed. I'm rich,
she arrogantly boasts, $7000 may seem like a lot of money to you, but to me
even $200,000 isn't very much.
Street-smart Marryin' would never pay $7000 to a street vendor for a Rolex
watch. She's yet to explain why she paid $7000 for Herbalife products?
No explanation why the need to lie about it either.
In the meantime, Victor Vector is indicted for developing, manufacturing and
selling a previously undetectable isomer of methamphetamine he names
clear. DEA agents find a ledger detailing the deliveries of cocaine,
heroin, marijuana and clear to a dozen high-profile users and convinces a
few of them to turn State's evidence against him--corroborating your wife's
cocaine habit along the way.
Her daddy, a notorious pimp named Fill Nite, desperately wants to see her
case disappear. Nite has been leaning on his clout in the DA's office, Crack
Mazbak, who used to run Lebanese blond hash for him in the old days. Mazbak
had a run-in with the Feds just last year, threatened with reassignment to
animal control, so his hands are tied and there's no deal. Crack, however,
will implement the usual customary stall tactics for his old friend Fill,
but he's not as effective as he used to be.
Nite has a huge investment in Jonz, dressing her up in schoolgirl outfits
for the regular johns. She's been one of the most productive hoes in the
stable, despite her addiction to coke and crank. Nite claims that when
Marryin' first turned tricks for him she wasn't on drugs, therefore, there's
no reason for her to be on drugs now--expecting us to believe that years of
wallowing in the gutter with every sleazebag on the street didn't affect her
at all.
Even though Marryin' claims to be powered by Girl Scout cookies and milk,
she offers no logical reason why she takes practice urinalysis tests,
guzzles cranberry juice and Golden Seal, nor why she subscribes to High
Times and donates money to NORML?
Which do you expect us to believe: you fell off a turnip truck, or the rear
door to a fishmonger's truck came ajar and red herrings are scattered all
over town?
