OT: Modifications to English;-)
Hello all, Just decided to share this with you;-) ---8 The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, vi vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer. ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! ---8-- P.S. I _like_ it! -- SY, Alex (St.Petersburg, Russia) http://mph.phys.spbu.ru/~akiselev --- Thought for the day: If you want it done right, forget Microsoft. --- PGP public keys on keyservers: 0xA2194BF9 (RSA); 0x214135A2 (DH/DSS) fingerprints: F222 4AEF EC9F 5FA6 7515 910A 2429 9CB1 (RSA) A677 81C9 48CF 16D1 B589 9D33 E7D5 675F 2141 35A2 (DH/DSS) --- -- -- View the TBUDL archive at http://tbudl.thebat.dutaint.com To send a message to the list moderation team double click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe from TBUDL, double click here and send the message: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -- You are subscribed as : archive@jab.org
Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)
Thursday, April 27, 2000, 7:29:45 AM, Alexander wrote: During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, vi vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer. ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! P.S. I _like_ it! Unfortunately, like most decent jokes it has been retold, poorly, with no credit to its lineage. I do believe Mark Twain was the man who started this particular chuckle. A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. -- Steve C. Lamb | I'm your priest, I'm your shrink, I'm your ICQ: 5107343 | main connection to the switchboard of souls. ---+- -- -- View the TBUDL archive at http://tbudl.thebat.dutaint.com To send a message to the list moderation team double click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe from TBUDL, double click here and send the message: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -- You are subscribed as : archive@jab.org
Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)
Hi there! On 27 Apr 00, at 9:27, Steve Lamb wrote about "Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)": ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! Unfortunately, like most decent jokes it has been retold, poorly, with no credit to its lineage. I do believe Mark Twain was the man who started this particular chuckle. Thanks for the clarification, Steve. As you might have already guessed, I've read nothing from Twain _in_English_, never (only translated to Russian: this way I've read almost everything by MT), that's why I've never seen this joke (it wouldn't sound equally good in Russian, since we basically have a phonetical spelling here already and need not reform anything;-)). -- SY, Alex (St.Petersburg, Russia) http://mph.phys.spbu.ru/~akiselev --- Thought for the day: Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten. --- PGP public keys on keyservers: 0xA2194BF9 (RSA); 0x214135A2 (DH/DSS) fingerprints: F222 4AEF EC9F 5FA6 7515 910A 2429 9CB1 (RSA) A677 81C9 48CF 16D1 B589 9D33 E7D5 675F 2141 35A2 (DH/DSS) --- -- -- View the TBUDL archive at http://tbudl.thebat.dutaint.com To send a message to the list moderation team double click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe from TBUDL, double click here and send the message: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -- You are subscribed as : archive@jab.org
Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)
Hi Alexander, On Thursday, April 27, 2000, 9:29:45 AM, you wrote in part about "OT: Modifications to English;-)": A The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby A English will be the official language Thanks for that, I had a great laugh! I will save this one. BTW, I have installed SuSE and it installed without a hitch, except for my modem. It will not find it. I have an ISA PNP so it should. I have used many setserial commands to use COM3 and IRQ 5, but it will not work. I have sent in my isapnp.conf file to tech support, and hopefully they can figure it out. Otherwise, I like the flavor. I will not use it if I cannot use the modem. Maybe I will switch to Caldera if this fails. -- Best regards, Gary Today's thought: Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again. PGP Public Key: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?subject=SendPGPKey -- -- View the TBUDL archive at http://tbudl.thebat.dutaint.com To send a message to the list moderation team double click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe from TBUDL, double click here and send the message: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -- You are subscribed as : archive@jab.org
Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)
Hi Gary! On 17:24, 27 Apr 00, you wrote about "Re: OT: Modifications to English;-)": BTW, I have installed SuSE and it installed without a hitch, except for my modem. It will not find it. I have an ISA PNP so it should. I have used many setserial commands to use COM3 and IRQ 5, but it will not work. I have sent in my isapnp.conf file to tech support, and hopefully they can figure it out. Otherwise, I like the flavor. I will not use it if I cannot use the modem. Maybe I will switch to Caldera if this fails. Whaaa? COM3??? Don't you have a mouse on COM1, then?;-) I usually install modems on either COM2 or (even better) COM4... -- SY, Alex (St.Petersburg, Russia) http://mph.phys.spbu.ru/~akiselev --- Thought for the day: One out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; If they're O.K. it must be you. --- PGP public keys on keyservers: 0xA2194BF9 (RSA); 0x214135A2 (DH/DSS) fingerprints: F222 4AEF EC9F 5FA6 7515 910A 2429 9CB1 (RSA) A677 81C9 48CF 16D1 B589 9D33 E7D5 675F 2141 35A2 (DH/DSS) --- -- -- View the TBUDL archive at http://tbudl.thebat.dutaint.com To send a message to the list moderation team double click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe from TBUDL, double click here and send the message: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -- You are subscribed as : archive@jab.org
