[thePhantomWriters] 10 Easy Steps to Feeling Fabulous!
A Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel Article Title: 10 Easy Steps to Feeling Fabulous! See TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Article Description: Over the years of helping women learn to feel fabulous, I realized there are 10 steps you have to take in order to truly feel it. Before I tell you the 10 steps, I want to first share with you what being fabulous really means and what gets in the way of it. This way the steps will make sense. Additional Article Information: === 1238 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2010-01-12 13:15:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2010 Contact Email: mailto:carol.cha...@thephantomwriters.com Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/carol-chanel.html = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/feeling-fabulous-10-easy-steps.shtml#get_code - 10 Easy Steps to Feeling Fabulous! Copyright (c) 2010 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ The most important thing you can ever do for yourself and for your love life is to feel fabulous. Over the years of helping women learn to feel fabulous, I realized there are 10 steps you have to take in order to truly feel it. Before I tell you the 10 steps, I want to first share with you what being fabulous really means and what gets in the way of it. This way the steps will make sense. You are Fabulous! Yes, you really are. I'm not talking about the ego's idea - the false sense of being fabulous. I'm talking about the whole of you: your essence, your heart, your spirit and your body. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. That means you come from Source - loving, pure positive energy. That means you are Source energy - loving, pure positive energy - in physical form. What is being fabulous? It's an inner knowing of your worth, value, beauty, goodness, sensuality, passion, kindness, compassionate, love and joy. It's trusting yourself and Source. It's surrendering. It's honoring all the qualities and values you brought into this lifetime. * When you embrace your fabulousness - your life is filled, on a daily basis, with love and joy. * When you realize you are fabulous, you become an irresistible magnet. Men love a woman who truly lives in her fabulousness. * When you know it and exude it, men want to be around you - a lot. They don't care what size you are, how old you are or what you wear. What Gets In The Way Of Feeling Fabulous The ego or self-critical voice gets in the way. The key to realizing you're fabulous is to quiet the ego that criticizes you. When you listen to ANY self-criticism, you can't feel fabulous. So if you criticize your legs, or your level of education, or your upbringing, or the school you didn't go to, or your energy level - you are cutting yourself off from your fabulousness. Why would you do that? Is it habit? Because so many women do it, that it feels familiar? Because you think the criticisms are true? Well, they are all lies. Any criticism about yourself is a lie. There may be things you want to change about yourself. If you can do that now, great. Change them. Lose or gain weight, get more education, learn to sing or dance, tone your muscles, whatever you want to do, just go do it. Stop complaining and get moving. The cost of complaining is exorbitant. The cost is love. I know, I did it for years. And then when I stopped I had to learn to stop criticizing myself for having criticized myself in the past. Oh the ego is ruthless and tricky! Thank goodness my heart and soul won out over my ego. And whatever you do, don't expect a man to help you get over your criticisms. They can't, they don't know how and it's not their job. It's yours. Remember, stop criticizing yourself. It's keeping you from love. In your heart and soul is all the love and joy you came in with as a baby and somewhere along the line got disconnected from. It's not hard work to get back in touch with it, but you have to be willing to do some things. The 3 areas of your life - physical, mental and spiritual - have to all be worked on to feel fabulous. I've written out the 10 necessary steps below. 10 Daily Steps to Feel Great About Yourself and Life For lasting results you'll want to do all of these steps. I help women every day feel fabulous. So don't play small or complain or listen to your excuses. Just do these 10 steps. They're simple and easy. Honestly you'll be thrilled with the results. 1. Before you get out of bed start each
[thePhantomWriters] Victims And Relationships Don�t Mix!
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == Victims And Relationships Dont Mix! Article Description: In order for relationships to be truly fun, fulfilling, joyful and loving both people have to be emotionally healthy. That doesn't mean you still don't have some issues to resolve - that's part of life. It does mean that you aren't living a life as a victim of a past experience(s) and continuing to recreate more victim experiences. Additional Article Information: === 1392 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2009-07-16 11:12:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2009 Contact Email: mailto:carol.cha...@thephantomwriters.com Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/carol-chanel.html = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=6788p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/relationship-victims.shtml#get_code - Victims And Relationships Dont Mix! Copyright (c) 2009 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ In order for relationships to be truly fun, fulfilling, joyful and loving both people have to be emotionally healthy. That doesn't mean you still don't have some issues to resolve - that's part of life. It does mean that you aren't living a life as a victim of a past experience(s) and continuing to recreate more victim experiences. If you want to have an amazing rockin relationship you can't be a victim and you can't be with a victim, because you will either set the person up to victimize you, or they will set you up to victimize them. The Law of Attraction says we get what we think about, whether we want it or not. So if you're afraid of being a victim, you will have victim energy and you will attract a victimizer. Or you will perceive what someone does to you as victimizing you. Let me give you a personal example. I have a childhood friend who had some experiences growing up that were painful. He was a victim, at that point. As he grew older in order to get attention he, probably unconsciously, stepped into the role of the victim. Women flocked to him to take care of him, to nurture him and to rescue him. All of that might be okay, if he didn't need to keep wearing the cloak of victim and recreating victim experiences - day in and day out. And he will try to set people up to victimize him. He'll interpret everything through the victim filter. So if you say you can't do something that he wants you to do, then you are letting him down; he'll play the Poor Me. For example, if he calls one day when you're super busy and can't talk, he'll say you were unkind to him. He also attracts people who do take advantage of him. Remember you get what you think about, whether you want it or not. Now if you've been around someone who sees themselves as a victim, and lives as a victim, then you know it's a miserable and drama filled existence. Their lives are all drama and you can't have a normal, healthy relationship with them. And they aren't living in their truth as a powerful human being connected to pure positive energy. That's the place where you want to be and want the other person to be. The most important part of being around a victim is to not collude with them. Don't see them as a victim. Don't hold them in that energy. That's what they're used to. That's what they think they want, because that's how they're used to getting attention. It's the Poor Me routine. Don't go there with them. What if instead you saw them as creative, resourceful and whole? What if you saw them
[thePhantomWriters] Nice Has Its Price!
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == Nice Has Its Price! Article Description: The key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy is that if you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams. These tips can help lead you to a more happy, more fulfilling life... Additional Article Information: === 845 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2009-06-23 11:24:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2009 Contact Email: mailto:carol.cha...@thephantomwriters.com Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/carol-chanel.html = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=6787p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/balancing-the-relationship.shtml#get_code - Nice Has Its Price! Copyright (c) 2009 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ At the 2007 Grammy awards The Dixie Chicks song I'm Not Ready to Make Nice won the Grammy for best song. The storm of controversy that spawned the song is known to many. The hottest selling female country band in music history, the Dixie Chicks, got knocked off a lot of radio stations and suffered significant financial losses when one of them expressed a political viewpoint during a London concert in 2003. Whether you agree with them or not, isn't what I want to focus on in this article. As the Dixie Chicks worked their way out of the controversy, they wrote an award-winning, powerful song that can be a great guide for all of us. I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down...I don't have time to go round and round and round...I've paid a price and I'll keep paying... I can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should. That last line is the key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy. If you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams. People will find all sorts of ways to try to manipulate you into doing things their way. They will give you gifts, promotions, raises, love (well not really, but they say they will), housing, food, and validation. They will act pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to try to get you to do things their way. And all you have to do is give in, speak, act and do it their way. All you have to do is sell your soul! Am I being dramatic? Not really. When you live your life by someone else's standards and wishes, you aren't living it according to what feels great for you. And you will never be happy under those circumstances. And it's your life! As women, many of us were raised to be nice little girls. We were taught that being people pleasers had benefits. After all most of us had moms and dads who validated, rewarded and loved us when we were good. And that might have been okay when we were small, since we couldn't survive without mom and dad, but now as women it's not good for us. I'm not implying that you need to be nasty. Kind and firm are appropriate and a great guide for living your life, especially combined with humble and loving. But if you think that you need people to like you more than you need to honor yourself, then you'll be stuck living your life the way others think you should. The cost of being nice, of pleasing others, is giving up your dreams, desires, choices, freedom and your joy of life. It might keep you from asking for a raise, taking a dream vacation, living in a favorite city, driving a fun
[thePhantomWriters] How To Turn Your Breakup Into A Blast Off!
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == How To Turn Your Breakup Into A Blast Off! Article Description: The other night I watched the Jack Nicholson-Diane Keaton romantic comedy, 'Something's Gotta Give' for the third time. I wondered what I liked about the movie that motivated me to watch it so many times. Sure the writing and the acting is first rate, the locations are spectacular and seeing Jack Nicholson in a comedic role is always a treat and Keanu Reeves is a pleasure to look at. Additional Article Information: === 875 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-11-07 10:12:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Carol_Chanel = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3817p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/turn-your-breakup-into-a-blast-off.shtml#get_code - How To Turn Your Breakup Into A Blast Off! Copyright (c) 2006 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ The other night I watched the Jack Nicholson-Diane Keaton romantic comedy, 'Something's Gotta Give' for the third time. I wondered what I liked about the movie that motivated me to watch it so many times. Sure the writing and the acting is first rate, the locations are spectacular and seeing Jack Nicholson in a comedic role is always a treat and Keanu Reeves is a pleasure to look at. And I finally figured out what was so great. How the characters played by Nicholson and Keaton handled the break up of their brief, intense, highly charged and unusual (for both of them) relationship. They felt something they may not have felt before and it impacted them in ways that encouraged them to make major changes in their lives. What they felt was love. And then they both felt the accompanying pain when love doesn't fit into the structure we think it should. She turned her pain into creativity and wrote a funny play about their relationship. He decided to clean up his life and jumped on a plane to Paris to find her. It's so fabulous what pain can spark in our lives. You can blast off into a new dimension. What do you do when a relationship ends? What do you do with the pain, the grief and the power of those emotions? Pain Is A Powerful Tool Pain can be a great motivator. After all it lets us know we're alive. It keeps us awake. And crying can be so cleansing for the soul. That deep crying that leaves you exhausted and yet in touch at a deep level with your truth. Do you notice how sensitive you are to your feelings and the feelings of others when you realize you're in love and it doesn't look like it will work out? The pain that hits you in the stomach and leaves you feeling so vulnerable. From that place that vulnerable place comes your truth, your compassion, and best of all, feeling love. Really feeling it. Clients Breakups When my clients break up from any relationship, let's stick to a romantic one here, I help them process their pain and then help them learn more about themselves. It often looks to other people like they were crazy to have dated that person, crazy to have fallen in love with that person. Couldn't they see that person was so wrong for them? Friends don't want to see you hurting. But somewhere deep inside yourself you know the truth. That feeling love like this is a good thing even the pain for a short period of time. Living Your Life Feeling love let's you
[thePhantomWriters] Do You Take Things Personally? Learn How Not To
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == Do You Take Things Personally? Learn How Not To Article Description: Do you take things personally and wish you didn't? Do you want to know how not to take things personally? Every time I say I help people learn how not to take things personally I always get the same response oh, I need help with that. Additional Article Information: === 1891 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-11-02 10:36:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Carol_Chanel = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3816p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/how-not-to-take-things-personally.shtml#get_code - Do You Take Things Personally? Learn How Not To Copyright (c) 2006 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ Do you take things personally and wish you didn't? Do you want to know how not to take things personally? Every time I say I help people learn how not to take things personally I always get the same response oh, I need help with that. So how do you learn not to take things personally? I remember people used to tell me that all the time not to take things personally. I really wanted to stop, I just didn't know how. Let me give you an example. I remember the first man I really loved left me 'rejected' me - for another woman. I really loved this man and thought he loved me. How could I not take that personally? It felt personal and a lot like rejection. How did people do it not take things personally? Did they have some secret system? Did they have a code, some kind of DNA that I didn't have? Well I don't know about everyone else and here's what I learned. The reason we don't need to take things personally is because it's not personal. It's Really Not About You How can that be? Isn't the person who is standing there screaming and being mean to me, saying something about ME? Isn't the boyfriend who just went four days without calling me, saying something about ME. Or how about the girl friend who just broke up with you for another guy, isn't that personal, isn't that about ME. Maybe your boss was really cool and aloof today, 'isn't that about ME?' you ask. How about your mother who spent your entire life not being affectionate and warm, 'Isn't that about ME?' Do you understand where I'm going with these questions? The operative word in those scenarios is ME. And here's the key. Drum roll please! When someone is doing or saying something to you, it is about THEM not you or ME. It's about THEM. So the boyfriend who I mentioned broke my heart and 'rejected' me turned out to be a coward, a drug addict and basically a sad human being. He went off with a woman who could take care of him, financially. When I saw him years later I realized I had been spared a life of misery. If you hear yourself say 'I can't believe they did or said that to ME', then you need to stop, take a deep breathe, and realize you used the ME word about someone else's behavior. We make ourselves the important part of the interaction, when the truth is the other person is making themselves the important part of the interaction and that's why it's about them. That's why it isn't personal. It isn't personal. It isn't about you. Client Examples Let's look at the aloof boss. I had a client whose boss was the most abrupt man in the world. And she
[thePhantomWriters] Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'?
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'? Article Description: We all get stuck from time-to-time somewhere in our lives. This article talks about where in their lives people get stuck, and it includes some real life client stories about where people got stuck and what they did to get unstuck. Additional Article Information: === 1605 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-10-22 08:12:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Carol_Chanel = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3747p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/case-of-stucks.shtml#get_code - Do You Have A Case Of 'The Stucks'? Copyright (c) 2006 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ The Four Things You Need to Do To Get Unstuck Are you stuck? It happens to most of us at various times in our lives.It happens to most of us at various times in our lives. And the thing about being stuck is that it feels like you'll never get unstuck. Before we can figure out how to get unstuck let's look at what being stuck means. To do that I want to give you some examples from my clients. STUCK IN HER CAREER One of my previous clients came to me and was very stuck around the area of her career. She had a classic case of the golden handcuffs. She didn't like what she was doing anymore, but she was very well paid for it. She didn't want to decrease her income and she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. She didn't know her life purpose, what work would give her life meaning. So we went to worked on the 'life purpose' portion first. We helped her discover her values and honor them. It's one thing to know know your valuesthem, it's another to truly live your life by them. And by the way, values aren't morals, they are intrinsic to you you are born with them. And when you aren't living your life according to your values your life feels awful and you can get stuck. As my client and I worked together she finally got clear on her life purpose and realized what her next steps were going to be. She quit her job as a CPA, got a part time job making in the high five 5 figures, and went back to to school to become to get her masters in psychology. She moved to another city, made new friends, and is doing great really well in grad school. She went fFrom stuck to moving forward in her career. STUCK AND OUT OF BALANCE Let's look at another example. I had a client who was highly very successful and highly stuck in the areas of balance and relationships. They were interconnected because she worked all the time and had no life. You can't have a life if you work 15- hour days, six or seven 6 or 7 days a week. You are exhausted, you can't exercise, probably don't eat right, can't meet new people and your health is probably suffering. And that was the case with this client. That was her case. She was stuck - working all the time and hated her life. And, of course, she physically felt awful and she didn't have the energy to date and hadn't for quite a while. The first thing we did was to have her draw some boundaries and take four days off from work. You might think that sounds easy, but to someone who is stuck, is very this is difficult to do. She was scared to death that thought she would lose her job, and she didn't have any friends so she didn't know what
[thePhantomWriters] Rejection - Is It Real?
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == Rejection - Is It Real? Article Description: If you feel like someone has rejected you, or if it's a theme in your life, you'll want to read this an insightful article to break free of that demoralizing thought. You'll understand why what looks like rejection really isn't rejection. You'll learn why you might think you've been rejected and why that's a lie! Read on to get free of feeling rejected. Additional Article Information: === 1383 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-10-17 10:36:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Carol Chanel's Picture URL: http://www.thephantomwriters.com/client-img/carol-chanel.gif For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Carol_Chanel = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3738p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/rejection-is-it-real.shtml#get_code - Rejection - Is It Real? Copyright (c) 2006 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ One thing I know about rejection is that it feels real. And even though it rarely is real, it sure feels that way. Why is it rarely real? First let's look at - what is rejection? It looks or feels like someone decides they don't want to spend time, money, or share their heart with you. A person seemingly rejects you in favor of someone or something else. Or so it seems at first glance. Why You Might Take Rejection Personally? What makes rejection seemingly hurt so much is that you perceive it to be a rejection of you personally. As a person, a human being. The definition of rejection that we take personally is to 'discard as defective or useless.' That zings right into our hearts. One thing I know for certain -- absolutely no one on this earth can tell you that you're defective or useless. Well, they can tell you but you can 'reject' their comment. The real pain behind rejection is that we think someone is saying we aren't worthy. We are defective or useless. Guess what, it's a lie. IT'S A LIE! You aren't defective, flawed or useless. Why is it a lie? No one is defective or useless. If you are breathing you have an opportunity to be quite useful and if there is something you want to change about your life, you can do that. No one is defective. Why do you think that the other person's behavior, words or thoughts are about you? They aren't. It's about them. Always. It's about what works and doesn't work for them. And if you don't work, match or fit for someone, I guarantee you that you will work, match or fit for someone else. And someone else will work better for you. And if someone can make you feel defective or useless, then underneath, you feel that way, otherwise you would reject that thought. You aren't defective. You aren't useless. You're a Goddess, be one, carry yourself as one. Act as if you are a Goddess until you fully believe it and honor it. Client Examples I worked with a fabulous woman - we'll call her Teresa. She is smart, kind, funny and very upbeat. But every time a man didn't want to be with her, she felt rejected. And it would put her into a tailspin. She'd feel like she'd never meet a man that would like her for herself. Of course, then no man would come near her, because that was the energy she was putting out into the world 'you really won't want to come near me, I'm defective.' Of course, that wasn't what she meant to do. The way life works - you get what you think about, whether you want it or not. So if you're thinking
[thePhantomWriters] What Makes You Attractive?
Free-Reprint Article Written by: Carol Chanel See Terms of Reprint Below. * * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * *thePhantomWriters@yahoogroups.com * * We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm - Article Title: == What Makes You Attractive? Article Description: Too often women, and men, think it's the outside package that determines whether people find them attractive or not. This article will look at the real reasons other people find you attractive and how you can actually enjoy life more and be more attractive, not only to others but also to yourself. Additional Article Information: === 696 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-09-14 13:00:00 Written By: Carol Chanel Copyright: 2004-2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] For more free-reprint articles by Carol Chanel, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Carol_Chanel = Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: = If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3552p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/c/what-makes-you-attractive.shtml#get_code - What Makes You Attractive? Copyright © 2004-2006 Carol Chanel Certified Life Coach http://www.carolchanel.com/ What Makes Someone Notice You? Last night I was watching my husband of 15 years rehearse a song he had written to perform singing and playing his guitar as a surprise for the retiring president of his company. He had never done anything like this before. As I watched him I thought, WOW, he's one se*y guy. I started thinking, what makes someone attractive to the opposite sex? Obviously there isn't just one answer, and I think one of the most attractive things is when someone is enjoying expressing their talents and gifts. Think about it when you see someone singing, dancing, acting, laughing or talking about something they are passionate about, what do you notice? There is an energy of aliveness that comes from the person. A truth if you will. A force that is magnetic. Here's what my husband said about his performance: ...just doing a little something like writing a song, or doing a performance, anything that draws the passion out, creates a rush of aliveness, you feel a physical change among other things, you find your 'wings'. Can't you just feel the joy in his words? An exuberance for life! In contrast, you can tell when someone is shut down - they loose that aliveness and aren't very attractive. We've all felt unattractive and shut down. We literally shut down our creative juices. We disconnect from our flow of love, joy, creativity, passion. BEING MORE ALIVE So where do you want to feel more aliveness? What part of your life has been shut down that you want to let loose? I asked one of my clients this question and she said she wanted to have more dinner parties at her home. She loves entertaining and really feels alive when she's putting on a party. Another client is going to start art classes, and another one is planning a huge vacation she put off for too many years. I just did that took a long overdue vacation. It was the best thing in the world for my body, my marriage and my soul. What is it for you? Come on, what's the thing you've wanted to do and talked yourself out of? You actually know it. Do you sing in the shower or in the car? Do you talk passionately about a subject when no one is really listening? Do you write poetry and never share it? Do you love hiking or biking but never make the time for it? Have you been putting off working in your garden even though you love doing it? Do you want to express your love and thought it might not be reciprocated? Do it anyway. You'll benefit. FIND YOUR WINGS Make a commitment to yourself this year to play and do something that has you come alive. Not only will you be more attractive to others, more importantly, you'll love how
