http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/26/opinion/26douthat.html?_r=2

Op-Ed Columnist
Liberated and Unhappy

By ROSS DOUTHAT
Published: May 25, 2009

American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they
were 30 years ago. They’re more likely to work outside the home, and
more likely to earn salaries comparable to men’s when they do. They
can leave abusive marriages and sue sexist employers. They enjoy
unprecedented control over their own fertility. On some fronts —
graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look
increasingly like the second sex.

But all the achievements of the feminist era may have delivered women
to greater unhappiness. In the 1960s, when Betty Friedan diagnosed her
fellow wives and daughters as the victims of “the problem with no
name,” American women reported themselves happier, on average, than
did men. Today, that gender gap has reversed. Male happiness has
inched up, and female happiness has dropped. In postfeminist America,
men are happier than women.

This is “The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness,” the subject of a
provocative paper from the economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin
Wolfers. The paper is fascinating not only because of what it shows,
but because the authors deliberately avoid floating an easy
explanation for their data.

The decline of the two-parent family, for instance, is almost
certainly depressing life satisfaction for the women stuck raising
kids alone. But this can’t be the only explanation, since the trend
toward greater female discontent cuts across lines of class and race.
A working-class Hispanic woman is far more likely to be a single
mother than her white and wealthy counterpart, yet the male-female
happiness gap holds in East Hampton and East L.A. alike.

Again, maybe the happiness numbers are being tipped downward by a
mounting female workload — the famous “second shift,” in which women
continue to do the lion’s share of household chores even as they’re
handed more and more workplace responsibility. It’s certainly possible
— but as Wolfers and Stevenson point out, recent surveys actually show
similar workload patterns for men and women over all.

Or perhaps the problem is political — maybe women prefer egalitarian,
low-risk societies, and the cowboy capitalism of the Reagan era had an
anxiety-inducing effect on the American female. But even in the warm,
nurturing, egalitarian European Union, female happiness has fallen
relative to men’s across the last three decades.

All this ambiguity lends itself to broad-brush readings. A strict
feminist and a stringent gender-role traditionalist alike will
probably find vindication of their premises between the lines of
Wolfers and Stevenson’s careful prose. The feminist will see evidence
of a revolution interrupted, in which rising expectations are bumping
against glass ceilings, breeding entirely justified resentments. The
traditionalist will see evidence of a revolution gone awry, in which
women have been pressured into lifestyles that run counter to their
biological imperatives, and men have been liberated to embrace a
piggish irresponsibility.

There’s evidence to fit each of these narratives. But there’s also
room for both.

Feminists and traditionalists should be able to agree, for instance,
that the structures of American society don’t make enough allowances
for the particular challenges of motherhood. We can squabble forever
about the choices that mothers ought to make, but the difficult
work-parenthood juggle is here to stay. (Just ask Sarah and Todd
Palin.) And there are all kinds of ways — from a more family-friendly
tax code to a more accommodating educational system — that public
policy can make that juggle easier. Conservatives and liberals won’t
agree on the means, but they ought to agree on the end: a nation where
it’s easier to balance work and child-rearing, however you think that
balance should be struck.

They should also be able to agree that the steady advance of single
motherhood threatens the interests and happiness of women. Here the
public-policy options are limited; some kind of social stigma is a
necessity. But a new-model stigma shouldn’t (and couldn’t) look like
the old sexism. There’s no necessary reason why feminists and cultural
conservatives can’t join forces — in the same way that they made
common cause during the pornography wars of the 1980s — behind a
social revolution that ostracizes serial baby-daddies and trophy-wife
collectors as thoroughly as the “fallen women” of a more patriarchal
age.

No reason, of course, save the fact that contemporary America doesn’t
seem willing to accept sexual stigma, period. We simply don’t have the
stomach for permanently ostracizing the sexually irresponsible — be
they a pregnant starlet, a thrice-divorced tycoon, or even a
prostitute-hiring politician.

In this sense, ours is a kinder, gentler, more forgiving country than
it was 40 years ago. But for half the public, it’s an unhappier
country as well.


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