HTTP://WWW.STOPNATO.ORG.UK
---------------------------
Date: Wed, 28 Nov 2001
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Clown Prince Doofus II and the Vampire Hunters
Via NY Transfer News * All the News That Doesn't Fit
CLOWN PRINCE DOOFUS II AND THE VAMPIRE HUNTERS
by Wayne Sumstine
Once upon a time there was a Clown Prince Doofus II who took the
throne. He knew he faced a huge task... How do you trump your
predecessor, a popular, mile-high Santa Claus with an elastic sack?
Doofus's advisors knew that the level of control that people would
gladly accept paralleled perfectly the ferocity of the demons
rattling around in their heads. So, their trick was to shift the
focus from "Every day is Christmas" to "Every day is Halloween." "If
you aren't going to give people social services then you better give
them a big scary adversary that never goes away," said the Doofus
advisors, "otherwise you run the risk of not being able to manipulate
whatever passes for patriotism these days in the numb noodles of the
masses." Doofus knew a good plan when it slapped him silly.
So they stuffed hundreds of Arab boogeymen in the deep freeze who had
no known connection to The Big Scare, and they badgered another 5,000
with no known connection to any known connections. At the same time,
535 reptilian hillbillies swarmed onto Capitol Hill and began to
cheer every vulgar clichÈ coming from the general direction of Doofus
II, regardless of which of his orifices did the emitting.
"At least we can all sleep better at night knowing that the same
agitated baboons who've been trying to blow up Castro's cigar for
forty years are now being diverted to the greater responsibility of
hunting vampires worldwide with their Arab-sniffing Chihuahuas,"
Doofus II told the nation. And all the Reemocrats and Demublicans
with the long-toothed monsters locked up safely in their domes dozed
off peacefully to sleep with garlic bulbs tied around their necks.
And almost everyone lived happily ever after.
Those who didn't simply perished from intellectual annoyance.
November 28, 2001
[Reach Wayne Sumstine via e-mail at [EMAIL PROTECTED] ]
Copyright (c) 2001 by Wayne Sumstine & NY Transfer News.
=================================================================
NY Transfer News Collective * A Service of Blythe Systems
Since 1985 - Information for the Rest of Us
339 Lafayette St., New York, NY 10012
http://www.blythe.org e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
=================================================================
==^================================================================
This email was sent to: archive@jab.org
EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://TOPICA.COM/u/?a84x2u.a9WB2D
Or send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail!
http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register
==^================================================================
