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--- Begin Message --- Feudalism - You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism - You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.
Communism - You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you
share the milk.
Totalitarianism - You have two cows. The government takes them both and
denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.
Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell four of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, which is owned by your cousin, a high ranking politician in Washington DC. You then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all eight cows back, with a tax exemption for sixteen cows. The milk rights of the thirty two cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by a majority shareholder, a Senator, who sells the rights to all forty cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eighty cows, with an option on forty more. No taxes are due, however, because last year, the majority shareholder Senator sponsored a bill exempting all trading in cows from corporate income tax. The Senator records the sale of two of his cows to a California Congressman, subtracts the expenses of raising all 90 cows (which includes a $1 million contribution to the Cayman Island Dairy Farmers PAC), and declares a loss of $3 million for the year. However, before the tax return is filed, the Senator sells 900,000 of his share options in the Cayman Island company for a profit of $36 million. Meanwhile, the shortage of cows in California has caused the price of milk to go up to $125.00 a gallon and occasionally the shelves are empty causing the store owners to have to close their stores on a rotating schedule. You then resign and retire to your $50 million vacation home in the Cayman Islands. --- End Message ---
