1. Banner in front of the *Institute of Chartered Accountants* of India ….
“Drive slowly, don’t kill our students…. . leave them to us….” 2. *What is CA?* PE-I-Alpenlibe- Ji lalchaye raha na jaye. PE-II-Mentos- Dimag ki batti jala de. ARTICLES-Kinetic- Sabki hawa nikal de. FINAL-Chlormint- Dubara mat poochna. 3. We had many options to end our life Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging, Jump from building, Sleep under a train.. But we choose the bravest… Education (CA). 4. Aansu aa jate hai aankho me rone se pehle, Har khawab tut jata hai sone se pehle! Kya hai CA ye to samajh gaye, Kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle. 5. Are you- Emotionally Numb? Romantically Starved? Creatively Challenged? Artistically Void? Socially Outcast?* Congratulations* You are a CA Student!! 6. Teacher: Osama has 5 wifes and 20 Children, Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better? CA Student: Osama’s NPV is good but Laloo’s IRR is better. 7. AUDITOR A-accounting and others U-underlying D-data and I-information T-to give an O-opinion in R-the *audit report* 8. Irritating audits, Fighting on stupid issues, Everyday classes, *Dangerous* boss, More expenditure, Less stipend, People call it ARTICLESHIP, We call it LIFE. 9. CA on his death bed: My wife, are you here? “Yes dear” My daughter, are you here? “Yes dad” My son, are you here? “Yes dad” MY ARTICLES, ARE YOU HERE? “Yes SIR” KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai. 10. Upcoming *horror movies* in CA: -Boss bana shaitan -Tadapta article -Khatarnak *syllabus* -B.L. ka badla -2nd group ki pyas -Khooni result -Wo aakhri attempt 11. CA gaali de to kya dega? Saale bounced cheque, Dharti pe liability, Paidaishi bad debts, Dishonoured bill, Insolvent aadmi, Itna marunga ki *balance* nahi bachega. 12 Child: Who's that man & woman who come every night and disappear in the morning? Grand Mom : Thank God finally you saw them. They are your parents!!!! Both are "Chartered Accountants". A job interview is in progress, a bright and experienced accountant is interviewing for a position of a CFO. He is being interviewed by the members of board of directors and a CEO. During the interview the CEO suddenly asks: "Tell me, what is seven multiplied by three?" The accountant thinks fast and tells "22." Once the interview is over the accountant goes out, takes out the calculator and finds the answer - 21, disappointed, he goes home. Next morning he gets a call from the CEO, "Hey, you got a job." The accountant is pleasantly surprised. He cannot but ask, "Thank you very much for the job but what about seven multiplied by three?" The CEO tells him - "of all the candidates we interviewed, you came the closest." On a sunny afternoon three accountants are standing near a tall pole and wondering about the height of the pole. First accountant, a CPA says, I do not think there is any authoritative guidance on how measure the height of a pole, that is not the job of accountants. Second accountant, a professor at a state university says, well, if we take a survey of similar locations and asked people about the height of poles, then we may be able to deduce height of this pole, it will be a good enough estimate. The third accountant is a professor at an Ivy league university. He confidently claims, if we measure the shadow of the pole under different conditions, then I can run a multivariate regression model and can give a very good estimate of the height. As this conservation is going on, an engineer is passing by, he stops and asks about their discussion. Accountants tell him, you probably can not understand this complex problem. The engineer persists and hears about the problem. He smiles, lifts the pole from the base, measures it, and says, "twelve feet and three inches," and walks off. Accountants look at him, laugh contemptuously and say in unison - "hell, we wanted to know the height of the pole and he tells us the length." A very successful partner is a big six firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit." -- R Shanbhag “Raj” Abu Dhabi, UAE -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "BETTER PERSONALITY GROUP" group. To post to this group, send email to better_personality@googlegroups.com. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to better_personality+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/better_personality?hl=en.
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