Here's what the press release should be saying:
Milberg, Weiss & Lerach announces .....
that their merit-less suit is dropped.
"News Flash from the Doofus News Wire"
Apparently MWL & KY cant find a plaintiff that bought ALLR shares during the
Class period... and sold during same period, that has enough scruples to
withstand cross - examination.
They are however; offering a deep discount at Datek Groves Mental
Institution for a FULL labotomy, as they discovered the vast majority of
potential plaintiffs couldnt afford to get the job done right the first
time. For those mental patients (typo... correction - plaintiffs) that
refuse this offer - they are also offering deeper discounts at Pets.com on
muzzles -in an public service effort to cease the incessant whining of
online gamblers (ooops there we go again,) day-traders.
With these agreements - Milberg, Weiss, Lerach claims victory, as a far
greater public service has been done than a $.01's on the dollar monetary
settlement. Elimination of a large segment of whiners from the investment
gene pool.
In a related story.. the Kimberly Clark corporation has generously agreed to
accept ALLR stocks certificates in trade for tissues-investor to pay freight
and insurance. Stock cert redemption is for qualified crybabies who bailed
out only during the Class Action period, and who contacted Milberg, Weiss,
Lerach and KY within 7 days of their announced Class Action. All other
crybabies, fraud alledgers, gamblers, and even those in denial of their own
stupiduty, are encouraged to assist the environment by recycling and use
non-redeemable Certificates of Stock as rectal scrape.
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