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Subject: Britain's biggest banks use astrology to play the markets
Britain's
biggest banks use astrology to play the markets
http://www.newsmonster.co.uk/paranormal-unexplained/britains-biggest-banks-use-astrology-to-play-the-markets.html
Written by Danny Penman
Christeen Skinner blinks at the
screen of her computer and takes another slurp of coffee. It’s half past
seven in the morning and she’s preparing for a crucial meeting with the
chief executive of the High and Mighty fashion chain.
Apart from
the black cat dozing on her lap, the only clue to Christeen’s occupation
as a 21st century astrologer is a copy of an Ephemeris that lies open at
a
page marked “Mercury March 25th”.
“The financial crisis has
ensured that I’m busier than ever,” says Christeen. “People in the City
need to know what is just around the corner. I can help with
that.”
Christeen is one of a growing, albeit secretive, network of
astrologers who work for seemingly conservative British institutions such
as high street banks, City investment funds and retailers. Desperate to
avoid financial meltdown in the ongoing ‘credit crunch’ and to spot
fashions and consumer trends before they start, these institutions have
turned to the stars to divine the future.
“Most academics distrust
astrology and regard it as mumbo-jumbo,” she says. “The thing is, it
works. Nobody’s sure how it works but it does. Most of my clients are
businesspeople who are very canny. If it didn’t work for them, then why
would they use it?”
One of Christeen’s clients is
Judith Levy, chief executive of the High and Mighty retail
chain.
“I’m fairly pragmatic,” says Judith. “I will only spend
money on an astrologer if the decision I have to take is very important -
the kind of decision which will cost me a lot of money if I get it
wrong.
“When we launched our Kayak brand a few years ago we used
astrology to decide the launch date. Since then, it has gone from
strength
to strength. It’s one of our best selling brands.”
Astrology is generally seen as just a bit of harmless fun with no
predictive power at all. After all, how can a star have any influence
over
our lives when it is so distant that its light takes hundreds of millions
of years just to reach us? The answer to that is simple: it doesn’t.
For believers in heliocentric astrology, the branch of the
discipline currently in vogue with business folk and fashion designers
alike, it is the planets that appear to have an influence over us not the
stars. They maintain that each planet has a subtly different effect on
our
behaviour, which varies as it sweeps through the zodiac during its
journey
around the sun.
Mercury, for instance, can be generally
positive apart from when it turns ‘retrograde’. This happens when it
appears to reverse direction and travel backwards through the zodiac.
When
this happens, roughly three times a year, communication begins to break
down and travel plans may go awry. It’s seen as a celestial spanner in
the
works.
It’s Mercury’s potential to wreak havoc that has led many
world leaders and military figures to plan their lives and campaigns to
avoid its influence. Ronald Reagan and Boris Yeltsin would only travel
and
hold press conferences when the planets, specifically Mercury, dictated.
Hitler, a keen user of astrology, notably failed to take into
account Mercury’s influence. He launched the Battle of Britain and
planned
operation Sealion – the invasion of the UK – just as Mercury turned
retrograde. Both mistakes dealt serious blows to his plans for world
domination.
Mars seems to have an uncanny correlation with
over-achievement for those lucky enough to be born with the planet at
certain critical astrological positions. The French statistician Michel
Gauquelin discovered that the upper echelons of numerous sports, as well
as the medical profession and the military, are stuffed full of people
with Mars in these locations. For example, Nick Faldo, OJ Simpson and
Muhammad Ali were all born with Mars in the requisite position.
And so far at least, nobody has managed to rubbish Gauquelin’s
research.
But the effects of the planets pale into insignificance when
compared to the influence of the moon, claim astrologers. When the moon
is
full, a powerful mischievous energy fills our souls, hence the term
‘lunatic’. This is most noticeable on the streets, where drunken violence
increases and road casualties peak.
According to the police in
Brighton, a full moon brings out the worst in the British hooligan. Cases
of anti-social behaviour rise noticeably and commanders routinely deploy
more police, hospitals prepare for a rise in casualties from pub brawls,
and the fire brigade readies itself for more incidents.
“There is definitely a trend,” says Inspector Andy Parr, who is
responsible for patrols in Brighton at weekends. “With each full moon the
number of disturbances recorded increases significantly.”
“I'm
aware that this is just one of many things that can influence public
disorder but if you speak to ambulance staff they will tell you exactly
the same,” he says. “It may be dismissed as an old wives' tale but
there's plenty of other research to suggest that the moon has an impact
on
human behavioural patterns.”
There’s some academic evidence to back
up these claims too. A study published by German scientists in 2000
claimed the full moon sparked a rise in binge drinking. The scientists
checked the police arrest reports and blood-alcohol tests of 16,495
offenders. Most of those with an excess of 2ml of alcohol per 100ml of
blood – the definition of drunk under German law - had been caught during
the five-day full moon cycle.
Sceptics will no doubt point out that
there’s no conceivable mechanism for the moon to affect our behaviour. In
other words, astrology is just bunkum.
Professor Chris French, a
parapsychologist at Goldsmiths, University of London, certainly thinks
so.
“It’s just not true,” he says. “Hundreds of studies disprove
astrology. There are all kinds of reasons why people might want to
believe
in these things for solid psychological reasons but that does not make
astrology true.”
Dr Percy Seymour, an astrophysicist recently
retired from Plymouth University, disagrees. He’s spent decades studying
astrology and has come up with a theory as to how it might actually work.
Crucially, his ideas do not violate any of the laws of physics although
they may over-tax some people’s credulity.
Dr Seymour believes that
low frequency magnetic fields emanating from the sun interact with those
of the Earth, which in turn affects the functioning of the human
brain.
“The magnetic field of the sun can be affected by the
movement and position of the planets,” he says. “Having said all that, I
don’t believe that the cosmos controls us but it can influence
us.”
It’s a neat theory but does it stand up to
scrutiny?
Jim Porter, chief technical analyst for one of the UK’s
largest banks, believes it does. He uses heliocentric magi astrology to
predict the direction of the international financial markets. Millions of
pounds worth of commodities, shares and currencies are traded on his
command. His decisions may affect the value of your pension, your home,
and perhaps decide whether or not you have a job tomorrow.
When I
spoke to him late last year, he told me that the position of the planets
indicated a 3.2 percent fall in the American markets. The following week
they duly fell 3.5 percent.
“My attitude is that if you can test
it, and it works, then it’s just another tool that you can use to predict
the direction of the markets,” he says.
“I have tested it and
astrology works. Used with other techniques it can give you confidence,
and the more confidence you have, the bigger the risks you can
take.”
Jim has recently compiled a report for a major central bank
charting the likely economic trends of the coming few years. According to
Jim’s forecasts, the economy and the financial and housing markets all
face a rocky road and have a dismal short-term future.
“At the
moment,” he says. “Mars in Cancer is in opposition to Pluto in Capricorn.
This indicates a polarisation of opposing sentiments – turmoil, in other
words. This cycle ends around 6th April.”
“Sentiment will then
recover and will turn down in early August. That phase will last for 4-5
weeks. There will be another shake in October.
“In 2012
we’ll be entering the precession of the equinoxes, which is the most
important thing that’s happened in the last 26,000 years. That suggests
that something mega is going to happen. There will be a huge change in
the
world’s psychology caused by a huge natural disaster or a massive change
in spiritual beliefs.
“We have an interesting four years ahead of
us.”
If you are like me and the rational half of your brain screams
‘It can’t possibly be true!’ whilst the other half is a bit confused,
then
maybe you should remember that people seem to be making money from
astrology. And perhaps that’s the acid
test.
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