-Caveat Lector-
The 1998 nominees are:
NOMINEE No.1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun
like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot
himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
NOMINEE No.2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police described as
a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while
Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling
noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found
Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
NOMINEE No.3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot
himself to death in December in Newton, N.C.Awakening to the sound of a
ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead
a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
NOMINEE No.4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of
windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his
shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry
Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early
Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to
visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window
strength according to police reports. Peter lawyers, managing partner of the
firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of
the best and brightest" members of
the 200-man association.
NOMINEE No.5: [Bloomburg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no venti-
lation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large amounts of methane
gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and
a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It
appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that
was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened,
it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight
bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for
creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got
sick and one was hospitalized.
NOMINEE No.6: [The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made News
of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence
reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
NOMINEE NO.7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]. A cigarette lighter may have
triggered fatal explosion - Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday
night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30
p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had
not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into
the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
NOMINEE No.8: [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police,
Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying
for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store; paramedics
removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
NOMINEE No.9: [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing
above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
NOMINEE No.10: [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting Cap Explodes in
Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth
and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and
tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D
Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying
to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off" and this guy said, "'I'll
show you how to set it off."
NOMINEE No.11: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a birdfeeder on
the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and
fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled
chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel
regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony,"
Honer said.
NOMINEE No.12: [UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University Hospital
said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is
lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts,
25, lost his right eye during an initiation into a men's rafting club,
Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, OR. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors said had the
arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and
Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the
University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of
brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed
to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that if Roberts had tried
to pull the arrow out he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
Said Roberts,"I feel so dumb about this."
NOMINEE No.13 The Calgary Sun Saturday, December 28, 1996 VANCOUVER (CP)
A man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the groin,
taking off his testicles and part of his penis. Police said the man was waving
a .357 Magnum revolver around during the shouting match early yesterday. But
when he stuffed it back in his pants the gun went off. Police were called to
the hospital after the man in his 20s was brought in by friends. Charges are
pending against the victim, who is expected to survive.
AND FINALLY, NOMINEE No.14!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men
were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a
tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff
County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little
Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident
occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had
burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began
to operate properly and the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White
River bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before
crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck
Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting
the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions
from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis
sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we
weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his _____ off or we might both be
dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would
admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the
wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did
anyone get them from the truck.
[]===================================================[]
"If you think they're out to get you, you're right." Edward Britton
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