-Caveat Lector- > Praise to Alan Greenspan, for Protecting the Rich > > by Michael M. Thomas > > This column is being written in advance of the Great American Holiday > of Thanksgiving, but won't appear until afterward. Still, the sentiment > is there. Herewith, a few chestnuts which, in a just world, would be > stuffed up the orifices of the turkeys concerned. > > Let us give thanks for the good fortune that enabled (so reports a > well-placed Greenwich, Conn., source in disgust) various, perhaps most > partners of Long-Term Capital Management to move key assets into their > wives' names before the firm's collapse. The sort of assets that keep a > lad and lady climbing in and out of limousines, the funds necessary to > call for the check opening night at Daniel, the golf club > subscriptions paid up, the Costa Ricans assiduously clipping the > manicured hedges and lawns, the money that lets the partners' wives > keep shopping without missing a beat. For His bounties to such as > these, thanks be to God. > > Let us also give thanks for the New Deal, which set the precedent for > the Welfare and Family Assistance programs to which the immediate > victims of Long-Term Capitals failure can thankfully turn this holiday > season: the firms secretaries, its clerks and back-office help, > including the boy who made sure the caviar in the executive > refrigerator was the proper temperature (before the sturgeon eggs were > hastily redistributed along Round Hill Road, that is). For His mercy > in looking out for the little people, thanks be to God. > > Let us raise our voices to give thanks on behalf of these people, and > their families, and the banks that hold the mortgages on their modest > houses in Pelham and Stamford, and the issuers of their credit cards. > They are probably in no mood to celebrate Thanksgiving themselves, in > no mood to rejoice that through the miracle of sheer good timing, the > children of John Meriwether's partners will still get their holiday ski > trips and BMWs while their own will go toyless (try explaining to a > 7-year-old that food stamps under the tree is the way Christmas is > supposed to work in a proper postmodern capitalist economy). But it is > the will of God, as we have been told since 1982, that the rich set a > motivating example to the less fortunate. Such is the gospel of > Comparative Advantage. For giving even to the least among us the eyes > to see that it must be so, thanks be to God. > > Let us give thanks for a system that permits the fat cats to strut in > Armani after failed trillion-dollar desperation bets on > mortgage-backed securities, and the bankers who financed those bets > with money backed by the taxpayers to get in their Thanksgiving paddle > tennis in Locust Valley, while the little people who availed > themselves of the mortgages that back those securities may lose their > houses, along with the (Van Heusen) shirts off their backs. No risk, > no reward: ah, yes, thanks be to God. > > Let us give thanks that we don't have to trouble our own digestions by > demanding certain knowledge that we ought to have. Such as (this time > I'm going to put it in capital letters): WHAT DID GREENSPAN KNOW AND > WHEN DID HE KNOW IT? Or this one: Why has no list of the investors in > Long-Term Capital, the true beneficiaries of the bailout, been > published? Might anyone or any institution affiliated with The New > York Times or other major media have been an investor in Long-Term > Capital? For seeing that our minds not be clouded with such questions > (let alone the answers), or by silly, misleading terms like > "fraudulent conveyance," thanks be to God. > > Let us give thanks indeed for our great media. An uninformed polity is > the key to global capitalism and those who pluck the sweetest > harmonies from its strings. People who know nothing can be made to > believe anything. The mystic chords of memory must be raised to a > frequency only dogs can hear. Such is the gospel of postmodern > capitalism, its Beatitudes and Commandments, as vouchsafed to Alfred > E. Newman as he slouched toward Bethlehem on his skateboard to be > born, unworried to the very last. Such is the gospel our media go > forth to spread; Such is the work of the Lord--apparently. There is not > one among us who should not daily kneel and say: For Barbara Walters > and our anchor people and our talking heads, for Peter and Tom and Dan > and Jerry (as in Springer), for newspapers that give us the skinny on > the latest in vulval depilatory fashions while children grow hungry > and white-collar criminals gorge, thanks be to God. > > Let us indeed give thanks for the wisdom and vision of Alan Greenspan. > Is it thanks to Thy enlightenment, perhaps visited upon him in a > moment of awful clarity, as he paused from licking the boots of Wall > Street and raised his face to heaven, that he alone was vouchsafed to > gaze upon the secret, terrible face of the sibyl? That, alone among > men (and that race of beings we call "economists"), he was given to > see that it is possible to have inflation in the face of a worldwide > capacity glut? That the way to keep highly contingent inflation out of > the goods and services sector, and thus out of the statistics > confected for public consumption by an administration of charlatans > and liars and bought men, is to get the money out of the wallets of > the middle class, those greedy, inflation-inspiriting purchasers of > goods and services, and export it into the private banking accounts of > the well-to-do? That his mission on earth was to export the world's > wealth from the paychecks of the humble to the portfolios of the rich > by creatingwith the connivance of the media--a stock market which must > seduce the groundlings into pouring their treasure into it? For the > blessings of Thy wisdom, selectively bestowed, and on behalf of those > who especially enjoy His mercies (and Alans), thanks be to God. > > Let us also give thanks that Thou hast seen fit to outfit the Blessed > Alan with the tongues of men and angels, so that he might go up the > marble mountain and speak to the people thus: "Some members [of the > Federal Reserve Board] were concerned that [the Oct. 13 interest rate > cut] might be misread as indicative of a degree of concern about > prospective developments in financial markets or the economic outlook > the easing actions under consideration were more likely to help settle > volatile financial markets and cushion the effects of more restrictive > financial conditions on the ongoing expansion." > > What is spoken in the tongues of angels is intended only for angels to > understand, but let me give it a try. "The economy is tanking, which > is exactly what is wanted by the Street and the other big players, who > have nothing to do with jobs (jobs are something that clerks and > secretaries have; players have accounts). A decelerating economy means > easier money with which to leverage the Streets plays. Keeping those > plays solvent and liquid is the main, if not sole, job of the Fed; I > am Central Banker to the people in the same spirit that Bud Selig is > Baseball Commissioner to the fans. > > "Besides, I sure as hell don't want any responsibility for the bursting > of the stock-market bubble my easy-money policies--targeted, through the > banks and brokerages, to end up in the right pocketshave brought > about. When, as will surely someday come about, they start to draw up > the passenger lists for the tumbrils, I don't want to see my name at > the top!" When the clarification has to be almost as incomprehensible > as the gobbledygook that produced it, we are in the presence of true > genius. For the visitation of such genius upon our humble house of > state, thanks be to God. > > Let us give thanks for blessings still to come, or so we are told by > million-dollar-a-year anchor people whose Federal Communications > Commission-"comped" networks pick up their Visa bills. When the Fed > cut rates again recently, the evening news anchor people predicted > that the cut will soon show up in "our" credit card statements, auto > loans and mortgages. Don't hold your breath: It will show up in the > rate the Kohlberg Kravis Robertses and Forstmann Littles and Long-Term > Capitals pay on their leveraged investments, which are fully > tax-deductible, incidentally, as yours and my auto payments, credit > card finance charges, etc., are not. It will enhance the Long-Term > Capital bailout. But it will be a cold day in speculator heaven when > it shows up on your and my Visa bills. For giving us the patience to > endure this state of inequity without shooting someone, thanks be to > God. > > Finally, let us give thanks that we the people have been blessed by > God with a forgiving kindness like unto His own, so that we stand at > all times ready to look beyond the quirks of our great men and women. > A people less godlike in their mercy might not forgive a President who > is a liar, a cheat, a philanderer and who probably sold military > secrets to the Chinese in exchange for campaign contributions. Or a > Central Bank chairman who is butt-boy to the rich and connected, and > who conducts bailout transactions with the Peoples Money without > telling the People what's going on. By forgiving these men, we forgive > ourselves for putting up with them, and thus bolster our collective > self-esteem. Such is the wish of the Lord, as read in the exit polls: > for which, thanks be to God. ><...> > > This column ran on page 1 in the 12/7/98 edition of The New York > Observer. > <http://www.observer.com/cgi-win/homepage.exe?nyo1/MW120798> > DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. 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