-----Original Message-----
From: Hilary Thomas <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Monday, January 11, 1999 9:56 AM
Subject: [InTheShadows] Holy Insane Asylum, Chip! ::: High Tech Humor Etc.
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: BZ Burnbridge <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: World Domination <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Cc: The Collective <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Date: Monday, January 11, 1999 1:57 AM
>Subject: Holy Insane Asylum, Chip! ::: High Tech Humor Etc.
>
>
>>ChipGate 98
>>***************
>>
>>
>> API - Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti.
>>
>> It seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a
>> recent version of the Pentium microprocessor included a message that
>> describes their feelings about Bill Gates, president of Microsoft, a
>> good corporate pal of Intel's.
>>
>> When a portion of the Pentium chip is examined under a powerful
>> scanning electron microscope, the phrase "bill sux" is clearly visible,
>> etched into the surface of the chip.
>>
>> The "flaw" in the chip was only discovered by accident well after the
>> chip was released into the market, too late for Intel to prevent the
>> chip from being used in the manufacture of tens of thousands of PCs.
>>
>> Intel says that both engineers responsible were former employees of
>> Motorola, makers of the chips that are the core of the Apple
>> Macintosh.
>>
>> Both engineers have since been fired by Intel.
>>
>> Full picture in http://www.idt.mdh.se/kpt/billsux.jpg
>>
>>
>>*************************************
>>
>>Sports Shorts
>>****************
>>
>>The National Science Foundation announced the following study
>>results on corporate America recreation preferences:
>>
>>1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: bowling.
>>
>>2. Sport of choice for front line workers: football.
>>
>>3. Sport of choice for supervisors: baseball.
>>
>>4. Sport of choice for middle management: tennis.
>>
>>5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: golf.
>>
>>CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the
>>smaller your balls.
>>
>>
>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>>
>>Dubious Distinctions
>>******************
>>
>>The following is from the British Sunday Express giving Gongs (medals)
>>for dubious distinctions.
>>
>>Rubber Cushion
>>
>>To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his hemorrhoid cream
>>and glued his buttocks together.
>>
>>Crimewatch Cup
>>
>>Gold star: To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a
>>stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead in large
>>capital letters the words "Henry Smith". His lawyer told the court: "My
>>client is not a very bright young man."
>>
>>Silver star:
>>
>>To Michael Robinson, who rang police to deliver a bomb threat, but became
>>so agitated about the mounting cost of the call that he began screaming
>>"Call me back!" and left his phone number.
>>
>>Bronze star:
>>
>>To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with his name and
>>phone number painted in foot-high letters on the side.
>>
>>British Cup
>>
>>To the passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to Victoria, who
>>averted their eyes while John Henderson and Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral
>>sex and then moved onto intercourse ... but complained when the pair lit
>>up post-coital cigarettes in a non-smoking compartment.
>>
>>Flying Cross
>>
>>To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft,
>>having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500 mile race, and was immediately eaten
>>by a cat. Alas, the 90-minute delay resulting from finding his remains
>>and handing his ID tag to the judges relegated Percy from first to third
>>place.
>>
>>Lazarus Laurel
>>
>>To Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered round her coffin in
>>a New York funeral parlour, sat bolt upright and asked what the hell was
>>going on. Celebrations were short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs.Carson's
>>daughter, Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.
>>
>>Silver Bullet
>>
>>To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an
>>overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
>>
>>
>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>>
>>
>>Holy Insane Asylum, ClownBoy!
>>
>>A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum
>>and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen!
>>Thirteen! Thirteen!"
>>
>>Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks
>>in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.
>>
>>Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen!
>>Fourteen! Fourteen!"
>>
>>
>>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>>
>>
>>Union Avoidance Training for Borders Manager
>>*************************************
>>
>>Borders bookstore chain has been bothered of late by union activity.
>>As a result, Anne Kubek of their Human Resources Dept. prepared a manual
>>on "Union Awareness Training for Borders Managers." As a public service,
>>someone has been kind enough to post the whole text on the internet .
>>Of particular value is a section entitled "Recognizing the Early Signs
>>of Union Activity," a concern we all share. Here are a few of the warning
>>signals:
>>
>>1. "Employees gather in small groups of twos and threes and
>>immediately halt their conversations when managers approach."
>>
>>2. "Employees start gathering to talk in areas that are off the
>>beaten path."
>>
>>3. "Employees who are not normally seen talking to one another begin
>>associating more regularly. Strange alliances begin to form."
>>
>>4. "New vocabulary may creep into employees conversations. Union
>>terms such as seniority, grievance, bumping, job security, job posting,
>etc.
>>may
>>appear in conversations."
>>
>>5. "Managers start getting an inordinate amount of critical and
>>probing questions concerning policies and/or benefits. "
>>
>>
>>found at: http://www.scn.org/news/newspeak/week.html
>>
>>
>>##############################################
>>
>>PhunTyme Website Dialect Translator
>>*******************************************
>>
>>1. Go to this address - http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
>>2. Select a dialect
>>3. Enter any other Website
>> 4. See what happens!
>>
>>
>>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>>
>>"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of
>>their money, first by inflation and then by deflation, the Banks and the
>>corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of
>their
>>property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their
>>fathers conquered."
>>
>>- Thomas Jefferson, 1786
>>
>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>>
>>Take a Trip on the WildSide!!! It's a Whole NEW UNIVERSE Baby....
>>
>> Brand New CrossRoads @ Radikal Youth Party Earth (RYPE)
>> %%%%%%%%%%%%% !!!!!!!!
>> Check Out the Phun ::: http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/rype/
>>
>> "Alas! They were so young, so beautiful,
>> So lonely, loving, helpless, and the hour
>> Was that in which the heart is always full,
>> And, having o'er itself no further power,
>> Prompts deeds eternity cannot annul,
>> But pays off moments in an endless shower
>> Of hell-fire-- all prepared for people giving
>> Pleasure or pain to one another living. "
>>
>> Don Juan Lord Byron
>>
>>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>>
>>COMING SOON from RYPA ::: MADONNA 4 Prez 2K!!!
>>
>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>>
>> "The question is not whether we will be extremists, but
>>what kind of extremists we will be...The nation and the
>>world are in dire need of creative extremists."
>> .:*~*:* Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. *:*~*:.
>>Radikal Youth Party Earth ::: http://www.healingbeauty.com
>>Active Volcano, PopKultur, Earth Magick, UFO's, TOP SECRET
>>>>>WILD<@ "All the magma that's meant to spurt!" @>WILD<<<
>>
>>&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
billsux.jpg
billsux.jpg
