-Caveat Lector- IF NOAH LIVED IN THE UNITED STATES, TODAY...... > >And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one > year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water >until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the >righteous people and two of every kind of living thing onthe earth. >Therefore, I am commanding you to > build an Ark." > > In a flash of lightening, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. >In fear and trembling, Noah took the > plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember" said the > Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything > aboard in one year. > >Exactly one year later, fierce storm cloud covered the > earth and all the seas of the earth went into > a tumult. The Lord saw Noah was sitting in his front yard > weeping. "Noah,"He shouted. "Where is the Ark?" > >"Lord, please forgive me! cried Noah. "I did my best, but >there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for > construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. > I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. > Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the > Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and flotation devices. >Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning >ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a >variance from the city planning > commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because >there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the SpottedOwl. I finally >convinced the U.S. Forest > Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the > Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. > So, no owls. > >The carpenters formed a union and went out on >strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor. Now I >have 16 carpenters on the Ark, > but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, got >sued by an animal rights group. They objected > to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I > got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could >not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact > statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very > kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of >the >Creator of the universe. > >Then the Army Engineers demanded a map of the >proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. > Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with > the Equal >Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing >discrimination by not taking godless, > unbelieving people >aboard! > >The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that > I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the > country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from > the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to > register the Ark as a "recreational water craft." > >Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an > injunction against further construction of the Ark, > saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious > event and therefore unconstitutional. I really don't > think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah > wailed. > >The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the >seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. >Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the >earth Lord?" > >"No," said the Lord sadly. "I don't have to. >The government already has." DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
