-Caveat Lector- ROGUES GALLERY OF "WILD, WILD EAST" =================================== (CNNS, 02/22/99) -- Howdy, pardner! Here's some more rootin-tootin tales from the Wild, Wild East. The wild, wild East was an untamed land, east of the Mississippi River, filled with colorful characters in the 19th century. At your video store you can get lots of movies about it: look for the category "Easterns." RICHARD LAWRENCE: Back in 1835, Lawrence jumped from behind a pillar and pointed two pistols at Marshall Andrew Jackson ("Old Hickory.") Lawrence was sort of a "lone nut," supposedly not part of any outlaw gang, supposed to have been "an out-of-work house painter." Lawrence pulled the trigger on the first pistol. The cap exploded but Jackson was not hit. "Old Hickory" raised his cane and headed toward Lawrence. Lawrence pulled the trigger on his other pistol, but it too misfired. Marshall Jackson believed that Lawrence had been part of a Whig conspiracy to murder him. (The Whigs were a notorious gang of the time.) But since Jackson had dared to defy and defeat plans to renew the charter of the Second Bank of the United States, it seems the real attempted assassins must have been European big-money gangsters. JOHN WILKES BOOTH: John Booth belonged to a secret society, a kind of gang, called The Knights of the Golden Circle. He was also part of the Confederate Secret Service, sort of a different gang, but then again sort of the same gang as the Knights. (A farm boy named Wesley, claims to be a medium, has it that Secretary of War Stanton also belonged to the Knights of the Golden Circle.) John Booth did shoot Marshall Abe Lincoln dead, that part's true. But Booth got away and didn't die until 1903. The fake Booth got sewn up in a horse blanket then was buried by the Yankees in a secret grave. The real Booth committed suicide by swallowing a lot of arsenic, in Oklahoma. The arsenic mummified Booth's body, and it was displayed for years by a travelling circus. Then, in the 1920s, a bunch of doctors autopsied the mummified Booth and said that, in all likelihood, it was the real John Wilkes Booth. After that, the mummified Booth disappeared. Meanwhile, the body of the fake John Wilkes Booth got dug up, in 1869, and re-buried, where it remains today. A few years ago, some of Booth's kinfolks wanted to dig up the fake Booth and do DNA tests, but a judge wouldn't let them. Marshall Lincoln was guarded that night, at the theater, by one man only, John F. Parker. But Parker wandered off downstairs and had some beers. That made it a cinch for Booth to get at Old Abe. Funny thing, but that guard who deserted his post in time of war never got punished at all! (Mary Lincoln, the Marshall's wife, accused Parker of treachery.) Well, we know that Booth was just the trigger-man. But which gang was really behind the killing of Marshall Lincoln? Some say it was the Catholic Gang. Some say it was the London Gang. But I say it was the Wall Street Gang. CHARLES GUITEAU: He was a lawyer, admitted to the Illinois bar in 1868. Guiteau worked for Horace Greeley's campaign to be Marshall, in 1872. That puts him as one of the Democrat Gang. But he switched over to the Republican Gang in 1880, when he worked for the Garfield for Marshall campaign. On May 18, 1881, an "impression" came over Guiteau's mind "like a flash," that he should murder Marshall Garfield. (Same with John Schrank, who shot at former-Marshall "Teddy" Roosevelt in 1912; same with Guiteau: both had their murder plans born in a trance.) Guiteau had this idea in his head, that came to him sudden, "like a flash," that Garfield had wrecked the Republican Gang. The new Marshall Garfield was appointing "Half Breeds" to important patronage jobs; for example, a "Half Breed" (a mulatto?) had been appointed Customs collector in New York and two Republican senators had resigned in protest. On July 2, 1881, Guiteau shot Garfield twice with a .44-caliber pistol. Guiteau wanted a "Stalwart" -- Assistant-Marshall Chester Arthur -- to be the new Marshall and save the Republicans from "Half Breeds." Rumors of a conspiracy were rampant. Garfield finally died on September 19, 1881. Guiteau received many letters from admirers, who applauded his murder of Marshall Garfield. At his trial, it seemed that the government needed for Guiteau to take the fall; the prosecuting attorneys coached witnesses, bribed experts, and suppressed documents which otherwise might have led to "not guilty by reason of insanity." Guiteau was found guilty and hanged, on June 30, 1882. LEON CZOLGOSZ: Czolgosz was a socialist who pretended to be an anarchist at times. Five days before he shot Marshall McKinley, an anarchist newspaper ran a notice about a spy trying to infiltrate them. The description matched Czolgosz. Czolgosz's father ran a saloon which served as a meeting place for socialists. On September 6, 1901, Czolgosz shot McKinley twice. McKinley died on September 14, 1901. Czolgosz was electrocuted on October 29, 1901 and "someone" then poured sulphuric acid on his face, while Czolgosz lay in his coffin, prior to a hasty burial. After Czolgosz killed McKinley, there was a crack-down on anarchists -- remember that Czolgosz was connected to very different groups: socialists and anarchists. (This is like with Lee Harvey Oswald, connected with communists and the CIA, both.) The day after McKinley died, John Schrank (who shot Marshall Teddy in 1912) had a "vision": McKinley rises from his casket and points to a man wearing a monk's outfit. He looks at the "monk" and sees it is Marshall Teddy Roosevelt. The dead McKinley, pointing at the revealed Marshall Teddy, speaks these words: "There is my murderer." Marshall McKinley was on the payroll of several gangs, most notably the Morgan Gang and "Dead Eye" Rockefeller's gang. Marshall Teddy was not on the payroll of "Dead Eye" Rockefeller's gang. After McKinley died, the new Marshall, Teddy, went after the Rockefeller gang and busted them into pieces. (This has been a True Tale, from the Wild, Wild East. To read more about it, see the hard-to-find "Playboy's History of Assassination in America." The hard-riding caballeros at Prevailing Winds Research might be able to get you a copy. Here's how to contact them: (1) Prevailing Winds Research, PO Box 23511, Santa Barbara, CA 93121; (2) Telephone: 805-899-3433; (3) Fax: 805-899-4773; (4) BBS: 805-899-4737) -- CNNS (Conspiracy Nation News Service) is an INDEPENDENT news outlet, not owned by anyone. (But of course, we would say that, wouldn't we?) BEWARE THE CFR! BEWARE THE CIA! 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