-Caveat Lector- Rubin Grabbed in Sendoff Spoof By WILLIAM C. MANN .c The Associated Press WASHINGTON (AP) - Late in his tenure as Treasury secretary, Robert Rubin often had occasion to tear into the way Japan handled its reeling economy. The Japanese probably didn't like it, but enough to kidnap him? Yep, said a videotape spoof shown in the White House's state dining room to President Clinton, along with the first lady and other Rubin friends and colleagues attending a retirement party thrown by the president Thursday night. The premise was that retired Japanese bureaucrats took Rubin hostage in Tokyo and refused to let him go unless he would say something - ANYTHING - positive about the Japanese economy. The CIA reports to Clinton that, aware of the U.S. military's ``name, rank, serial number'' limits to cooperation with captors, Rubin held out against his. He gave them nothing more than a lesson in basic capitalism: ``My name is Bob Rubin. I am a U.S. citizen. Markets go up and markets go down. I have nothing more to say.'' Jesse Jackson, whose real-life hostage-retrieving skills were honed in Iraq and Yugoslavia, finally is called on to find ``common ground between the yen and the yang.'' Successful, Jackson declares: ``Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty, Bob's free at last.'' Gene Sperling, Clinton's chief economic adviser, conceived, produced, directed, wrote the screenplay of (what there was of it), acted in and was cinematographer for the production. Sperling's handiwork producing ``Free Bob: A Documentary'' did not go unnoticed. His spokesman, Jake Siewert, introduced his boss Friday at a White House briefing as ``chairman of the National Economic Council and a documentary filmmaker.'' Sperling reportedly worked on the movie, off and on, over a 24-hour period, then got editing help from a friend who's an experienced editor. The concept probably came easily to Sperling: Japanese officials were known to resent Rubin's outspokenness about economic mismanagement in their country. Tokyo quickly congratulated his successor, Rubin's longtime deputy Lawrence Summers, after his swearing-in Friday. In addition to Jackson and Sperling, the videotape featured some of Washington's most powerful people. Sandy Berger, Clinton's national security adviser, argues with Sperling about whose name goes atop the memo to Clinton outlining rescue options. Japan is a foreign country, but the demands are economic. Clinton tries to keep himself above the fray by working on a crossword puzzle. Defense Secretary William Cohen reports in the Pentagon press room that he's offering the Navy's entire $82 billion budget to pay for Rubin's hotel room in outrageously expensive Tokyo. Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan gives his report. ``Greenspan's comments were straight up,'' an official who saw the film said, ``but in the context, you had to laugh.'' Thursday night's showing was supposed to be the last, and as of Saturday nobody had reported that a copy had been leaked. But in Washington, just wait. DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
