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A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a
wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer
said, "That's once!"A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled
again. The farmer said, "That's twice!"After a little, while the poor old
horse stumbled again.The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the
seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.His brand new bride raised all
kind of heck with him, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The
farmer said, "That's once!"
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in
Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a
person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the
landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to
his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the
American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on
sidewalks." 
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