Followup-For: Bug #567517
Package: etherwake
Version: 1.09-3
Tags: patch
On Fri, 29 Jan 2010 Valarie Moore <jei...@gmail.com> wrote:
> The third paragraph of this package's description has a typographical error;
> the
> correct spelling for "seperates" is separates.
>
> Furthermore, I think this paragraph should be slightly rewritten: A feature
> that separates etherwake from other implementations is that it supports WOL
> passwords.
Here's a picky debian-l10n-english-style review for the package, along
with a patch.
Current version:
> Description: A little tool to send magic Wake-on-LAN packets
Initial non-DevRef-compliant capitalised indefinite article. I would
also drop "little", since I doubt anybody is going to pick this one on
the basis that its competitors are too big.
> You can wake up WOL compliant Computers which have been powered down to
> sleep mode or start WOL compliant Computers with a BIOS feature.
Pointless repetition of "WOL compliant Computers", with unnecessary
capitalisation. But wait... given that BIOS power management support
is mentioned separately, it isn't the PC that needs WOL support to
allow resume-from-sleep, it's the NIC!
There should probably also be some hint at the fact that WOL requires
the machine to be on standby, not fully powered down.
> .
> WOL is an abbreviation for Wake-on-LAN. It is a standard that allows you
> to turn on a computer from another location over a network connection.
Once you've said what WOL is short for, the fact it's an abbreviation
is too obvious to need stating - and besides, the expansion was in the
short description. The "from another location" part is also rather
futile, since obviously you can't do it from the powered-down machine!
And in this day and age, "network connection" isn't specific enough -
there is such a thing as Wake-on-WLAN, but as the name implies,
etherwake only supports wired connections.
I would also recommend reversing the order of these paragraphs: first
introduce WOL, then go into the details of what you can do with it.
> .
> A feature etherwake seperates from other implementations is, that it also
> supports WOL passwords.
The "seperates" part is misspelled and backwards; but more subtly, the
comma before "that" is wrong too.
My revised version:
| Description: tool to send magic Wake-on-LAN packets
| WOL (Wake-on-LAN) is a standard that allows you to turn on a computer
| over an Ethernet connection. Computers with WOL-enabled network
| interface cards can be woken from sleep mode, or powered up from
| standby via a BIOS feature.
| .
| One feature that separates etherwake from other implementations is that
| it also supports WOL passwords.
--
JBR
Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing)
diff -ru etherwake-1.09.pristine/debian/control etherwake-1.09/debian/control
--- etherwake-1.09.pristine/debian/control 2012-07-06 10:15:57.000000000 +0100
+++ etherwake-1.09/debian/control 2012-07-06 19:40:31.599392506 +0100
@@ -9,12 +9,11 @@
Architecture: any
Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
Recommends: wakeonlan
-Description: A little tool to send magic Wake-on-LAN packets
- You can wake up WOL compliant Computers which have been powered down to
- sleep mode or start WOL compliant Computers with a BIOS feature.
+Description: tool to send magic Wake-on-LAN packets
+ Wake-on-LAN (WOL) is a standard that allows you to turn on a computer
+ over an Ethernet connection. Computers with WOL-enabled network
+ interface cards can be woken from sleep mode, or powered up from
+ standby via a BIOS feature.
.
- WOL is an abbreviation for Wake-on-LAN. It is a standard that allows you
- to turn on a computer from another location over a network connection.
- .
- A feature etherwake seperates from other implementations is, that it also
- supports WOL passwords.
+ One feature that separates etherwake from other implementations is that
+ it also supports WOL passwords.
