Chad Dunlap wrote:
> Fixed grammatical error, 'allows to' has been changed to 'allows one to' in
> debian/control
It's true that "allows to" is ungrammatical, but you can't just
replace it with "allows one to" in a sentence where the user is being
addressed as second person. And that's not the only minor problem
with the package description. Now that there are packages such as
dconf-tools to crowd the namespace it's probably time it got a minor
overhaul - compare my review for dconf-tools, bug #622984!
# Description: collect system information
DevRef prefers noun-phrase-based synopses.
# Dconf is a tool to collect a system's hardware
It doesn't collect a system's hardware! This would be clearer as "a
tool for collecting information about a system's hardware and software
configuration".
# and software configuration.
(If this newline was intended to create a new paragraph, I should
point out that whitspace isn't significant in package descriptions,
since they're allowed to be re-wrapped to fit the display.)
# It allows to take your system configuration with
This might as well be "allows you to". Other documentation has the
useful word "snapshot" which I think would be appropriate here too.
# you or compare systems (like nodes in a cluster) to
Pedantically, that should be "such as" (I'm not comparing systems in
the same manner as nodes). But there's no point nesting an example
within an example - just say "or compare nodes in a cluster"!
# troubleshoot hardware or software problems.
Add a paragraph for readers who have found the wrong dconf.
My suggested description:
| Description: system hardware/software information collector
| Dconf is a tool for collecting information about a system's hardware and
| software configuration. It allows you to take a snapshot of your system
| configuration with you, or compare nodes in a cluster to troubleshoot
| hardware or software problems.
| .
| Dconf is not connected to the desktop settings database DConf.
(By the way - http://wiki.debian.org/WhyTheName#dconf - am I right to
assume that the D is for "Distributed"?)
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
diff -ru dconf-0.5.1.pristine/debian/control dconf-0.5.1/debian/control
--- dconf-0.5.1.pristine/debian/control 2012-08-14 17:14:05.000000000 +0100
+++ dconf-0.5.1/debian/control 2012-08-14 17:22:24.636410967 +0100
@@ -8,9 +8,10 @@
Package: dconf
Architecture: all
Depends: ${python:Depends}
-Description: collect system information
- Dconf is a tool to collect a system's hardware
- and software configuration.
- It allows to take your system configuration with
- you or compare systems (like nodes in a cluster) to
- troubleshoot hardware or software problems.
+Description: system hardware/software information collector
+ Dconf is a tool for collecting information about a system's hardware and
+ software configuration. It allows you to take a snapshot of your system
+ configuration with you, or compare nodes in a cluster to troubleshoot
+ hardware or software problems.
+ .
+ Dconf is not connected to the desktop settings database DConf.
