> The Dedication > > One day, I woke late and barely had time to shower and dress before dashing > out the door. As I stood on the porch, oblivious to the sunrise or the wind > sighing through the trees, I felt the presence of Gaia. She appeared to me > ample and smiling, her great hips swaying in a rhythm I used to know but > could no longer quite hear. I recognized for the first time in months the > joy and beauty held in all the Lady's creations. > > She stood in front of me, bosom quaking in indignation, and demanded, > "Daughter, do you love me?" > > I answered hastily, "Of course, Mother! You are that which provides me > sustenance and gives me life." > > Then she asked, "And if I had made you imperfectly, unsound of leg or limb > or organ, would you still love me?" > > Perplexed, I glanced down at my perfectly sound arms and legs and at the > rest of my body which in spite of my best efforts remained nearly as ample > as Her own. I thought of all the things I wouldn't be able to do without > those limbs and considered them against the perceived cruelty of being given > a body more plentiful than modern society allowed. I realized I had taken > for granted the things that I could do with this otherwise healthy and > perfect body. > > And I answered, "You did make my body imperfectly and I have suffered among > the once-borns for it. Yet it is not as unsound or imperfect as others I > have seen. I am grateful for what I have been given, Mother, and I still > love you." > > Then Gaia said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creations?" > > How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of > all the blind people in the world and of one friend in particular whose > observations of Gaia's works went far deeper than my own. I remembered a > time when blindness was considered a gift from the gods and a mark of their > favor. How did all these people see creation without actually seeing it? As > I considered this, the veil fell away from my own inner sight and I > recognized that one did not need to see in order to view creation. > > So I answered, "Gaia, when the physical vision is taken away, the inner > vision remains. It is this inner vision through which so many of your other > children experience your Creation. I can do that too; I feel the energies > around me. I could still love your creations, Mother, even if I could not > see them. It is the inner appearance that counts, not the outer." > > Gaia smiled and looked as though she though she was finally accomplishing > something with this errant and wayward child of hers. "And if you were deaf? > Could you still hear me?" > > Oh, She was being so difficult today! I would be late for work if she > continued much longer. Yet unwillingly, like a flower seed dropped in a > crack in the pavement, her question found a place to root in the mind I had > though infertile. How could I hear the wind's songs or the bird's calls if I > were deaf? Then I understood. Gaia and her creations were not a mere matter > of listening with the ears; one also had to listen with the heart. > > I answered, "I depend too much upon my ears and not often enough on my > heart. It would be difficult, but if I were deaf I would have to let my > heart guide me. I think I would still hear you, Mother." > > She smiled in satisfaction and asked yet another question: "And if you were > mute? How would you praise creation and communicate with Me?" > > What, not sing in circle with my fellow pagans? No invocation to the Lord > and Lady? No call to the elements? How could I communicate if I'd no tongue > to do it with? Then it occurred to me: songs can be sung from the heart and > soul without sound; it is this language that Gaia understands best. And > praising Her is not always done with song but with actions. > > I responded humbly, "I would want my actions to speak in ways that my tongue > could not. I could still communicate with you." > > And Gaia demanded one final time, "Do you really love me?" > > With the conviction that I had missed the purpose of this lesson, I > responded with what assurance I could, "Yes, Mother! I love You because You > have given me these gifts and shown me their value." > > Gaia shifted her ample hips laden with creation, gestured to the full > breasts with blunt hands calloused from efforts to plant and sow. "Then why > are you ashamed of me? Why do you not use the gifts I have given you? Why do > you not live every day enjoying the multitude of creation I have put into > your care?" > > Tearfully, I replied, "Others do not see the value of the gifts you have > given me. They look only at the body and say I am a fright or a disgrace." > > "And this body is so bad? It is strong and free of defects and it could do > great things if only its owner willed it so. I made you in my own image, > child. If you do not love yourself, how can you possibly say you love me?" > > I did not answer this time, having no answer to give that would serve. > > "You are blessed with life. I did not make you to throw this gift away. I > have blessed you with talents that you may tend Me but you continue to turn > away. I have revealed my word to you, but your ears were closed. I have > shown my blessings to you but your eyes were blind. I have granted you my > creatures to take care of but you have ignored them. Yet I have heard your > voice and I have answered your questions. Do you truly love me, child?" > > I could not answer. How could I? I was mortified beyond belief. Gaia had > shown me nothing but bounty and love and I had allowed the opinions of a few > once-borns to soil it with their ignorance. I had no excuse. What could I > say to Her, the gracious Lady who had given me her own form with which to > utilize those talents? > > I cried out, "Why have You continued to listen for me? Why do You love me so > when I could not return that love upon myself or You?" > > Gaia wrapped her arms around me and answered: > > "Because you are My creation, you are My child, > I could never abandon you. > When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. > When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. > When you are down, I will encourage you. > When you fall, I will cushion the blow. > When you are tired, i will cradle you in my arms as you sleep. > You are a child of Gaia and as such you will love and be loved." > > She disappeared, leaving me with a mind full of new thoughts and a heart > open to the ways of the world once more. I munched thoughtfully on an apple > and noticed how beautiful the sunrise was. > > (copyright 1997 by Allegra Brillante)
